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planomaid -> RE: Safety precautions for Dommes ... (9/22/2007 6:53:46 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: earthycouple
as to keeping someone restrained at all times...not that it really matters to me because if someone's gonna harm me, they are gonna harm me....... but devil's advocate here...what about HIS potential safety then? Maybe the chick is a freak and plans to maime and harm him once restrained.
Safety is a topic that is applicable to both domme and sub. If after your form of communication you are each comfortable enough to play, there are some very basic ideas/concepts that can/should be applied by both parties:
1) Ask around a bit about the person. "Do you know so&so? Have you heard anything about them?" If a potential partner is completely unknown in your local community, then one should be more cautious than normal
2) First meetings can be held in a public place. Always a good idea.
3) A call to your cell phone or home phone that has caller ID. If their number is blocked or the name they gave at the beginning doesn't match, that's a big red flag. Or, if they won't unblock, I would advise you drop them.
4) On the day of the meeting, have the call and confirm 1hr a head of time. Then email the meeting information to a friend and let them know your plans. Let the person you are going to meet know you are doing this.
5) The golden safe-call. When someone arrives (or you arrive), make your call, give them the address, etc. Tell them when you expect to be done, and give them a time range on when they should call YOU back, if you haven't called. You can also set it up so that you call in the middle of the session, or right before you actually move from talking to playing, just to set the tone.
6) Before engaging in play, talk about what your thoughts are on the upcoming session. If you have had doubts up to this point, this is the time to clear them up. It's also the time to let each other know your limits, what you can and cannot do (physically and mentally), etc. And, its the last time you get to check on your own internal feelings for the other person. If you don't feel that you can trust them, or something is bothering you about the whole thing, then stop, call it off or post-pone things until you are.
Simple guidelines like this apply universally to domme and sub, male and female. A 5'2" petite woman in 6" heels and a corset may not look like she can take down a 6' 4" 240 lb muscular male, but once the restraints are on, the males physical advantages are basically rendered useless. So just because you are a submissive guy doesn't mean you can't get hurt too. Most ladies (unfortunately) have safety and distrust of unknown men beaten into their heads by society. It's a terrible thing that women are more likely than men to be victims, and probably a domme is more at potential risk than a male sub in these sorts or instances. However, no one should let that affect the application of good common sense to a potential first (or 2nd, or 5th) meeting. Just because someone seemed like a completely docile submissive at the public dungeon doesn't mean they won't be different when you get them in private. Think safe, play safe, BE safe.
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