A death in the family. (Full Version)

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fourpeas -> A death in the family. (7/19/2005 7:09:01 PM)

Hi all,

my grandfather passed away really suddenly today and I just need to talk about it. I have no regrets about our relationship; I spent so much time with him and loved him dearly. He was not senile and didn't have a prolonged illness. I just feel really sad and sorrowful because I just wanted to tell him one last time how much I loved him and how much he meant to me.

He knows this. I know that he knew. I just wanted to say it. I feel pretty sad. If anyone has any wisdom on getting through a situation like this please share. I live far away from my family too and feel sad about not being able to be there on quick notice.

thanks everyone.



quietkitten -> RE: A death in the family. (7/19/2005 7:14:59 PM)

Big Hug
I am sorry about your loss.
I wish I had some words of wisdom to make you feel better, but I know from experience there are no words that help.

Take care, you will be in my thoughts.



imtempting -> RE: A death in the family. (7/19/2005 7:16:55 PM)

Remember to Eat and Drink (not meaning alcohol) unless you want a few. Talk to family members and see if you can get there otherwise just talk to family members and friends and ask some friends or bf or gf or Dom to stay over for a few days.



Isolde -> RE: A death in the family. (7/19/2005 7:36:23 PM)

Find a balance between time for yourself alone with your memories and time with your loved ones, talking to them. It's easier said than done, I know, but having gone through the grieving process multiple times in the past few years, it's probably the most helpful advice I can offer from my own experience. You do need that quiet time but too much of it can twist your grief into something unhealthy. The same with being around those you care about, especially those who are also grieving. Talking helps, remembering him out loud helps, but only to a point.

My thoughts are with you. If you need to talk, even to a stranger, please feel free to email me on the other side of the site. *hugs*



sanita -> RE: A death in the family. (7/19/2005 7:41:09 PM)

my grandfather passed away suddenly back in October. sometimes, i still cry a bit for my mom, for my grandmom, for me... but it is ok.

here's what i have as advice:

cry when you need to, and don't ever feel bad for smiling when you start talking about him, or about being glad to see other people that love him.

when people ask how you're doing, tell the truth.

at work, sometimes, you just have to excuse yourself, and go cry. it will happen less often each week, though.

at the funeral or memorial, listen to the stories people tell about him. it was amazing to me, to learn so much about my grandfather as a young man, and as a father. and i thought i knew him. those stories are treasures for me.

if someone you are comfortable with offers a hug, take it.

and if you need some time for yourself, to be in your own private sad, and not have to try to bear up for others who are hurting, too... take the time.

drink lots of water, you'll cry a lot of tears, and do not need to get sick.

i am so sorry you lost your grandfather. take this advice for what it is worth. it will not make it easier, it will not take away the pain, but it may help you keep putting one foot in front of the other for a while.

i wish you well, and peace to you and your family. you will get there as you can.



proudsub -> RE: A death in the family. (7/19/2005 10:12:47 PM)

quote:

my grandfather passed away really suddenly today and I just need to talk about it.


I'm sorry for your loss fourpeas, it's never easy.



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: A death in the family. (7/20/2005 1:13:30 AM)

I'm sorry for your loss Fourpeas. Hugs... M



Oumae -> RE: A death in the family. (7/20/2005 6:38:08 AM)

My sympathies for your loss.

Oumae




feline -> RE: A death in the family. (7/20/2005 6:21:38 PM)

I can't begin to know the depth of your loss, but please know that my thoughts are with you.

Take care,

[image]local://upfiles/17000/33D6751B43C047EF9CB0A611FFBAEBC8.gif[/image]



Sweeticing -> RE: A death in the family. (7/22/2005 5:46:14 AM)

I am sorry you have loss someone close to you. I just loss my father in January. I havent stopped thinking about him. It helps to talk if you want but never seems like other people can help other then listen. ( not that listening is a bad thing its what you really need ) there really are no words that seem to help. My dad had lung cancer I knew it was bad but didnt think it was going to be his last moment with me when he went to bed that night. I never got to say good bye either. I think it helps if you have something that was there's that you can keep then you feel like a part of them is still with you. It seems to get worse before it gets better , But it does get better dont rush yourself into thinking you can only be sad for a certain amount of time.



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