RE: Yes this is likely to upset you (Full Version)

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mmb1 -> RE: Yes this is likely to upset you (9/22/2007 9:34:15 AM)

I never went by the phrase "doormat" it is what you interpret it to be individually as so many things and phrases.  Some I have seen have confused the "general" term of "doormat" with "dedication", and there is a big difference.  I have been called a doormat, but I know I am not!  Because I have done things that "others" would not do, that does not make me a doormat.  There is to me my own definition to that word and as long as it's not crossed, that is all that counts to me.



Aswad -> RE: Yes this is likely to upset you (9/22/2007 2:59:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

but in a community where we preach about communicating acurately and as best as we can why would anyone chance mixing up the meaning behind this one word? 


You are confusing preaching with practice, BoiJen.
The two are quite different from each other.
Only one is done by the community.

People defy attempts at standardizing communication, preferring to standardize practices instead.

Health,
al-Aswad.



feastie -> RE: Yes this is likely to upset you (9/22/2007 5:13:48 PM)

Doormat is doormat, regardless of bdsm.  It all means the same thing, with the exception of objectification.  No one was establishing etymology, simply pointing out that your reference to colloquialisms spawned by the computer culture are not germane in this regard.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LordODiscipline

My point is that the phrase has been usurped by 'submissives' and dominants' within the BDSM sub-culture to denote a behavior mostly cons on the part of dominants (for the most part) in their treatment of submissives -and- has become colloquial within that context.

I was not developing an etymology (I realize the usage outside of BDSM) - simply commenting on common usage as used within our communities and as the original poster referenced it.

And, I am not referring to "computer culture".

At one point we (people involved in the assorted perversions known by some as a "lifestyle") would deride computer savy people who aspired to inclusion in the community for their frequent and telling use of computer colloquials...

Over the years, as this has become the chief means of communication for people within BDSM that negative connotation cannot be considered vaild in any way anymore.

So - I do appreciate what you are saying... but, neener neener.

~J
Who aspires to a higher maturity level - but, has too much fun not having one at all.

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

The point is the phrase we are discussing is not "within computer culture". It is a term I grew up with. I remember hearing parents say to children at school "Don't be a doormat all your life" when they did not stand up to the school bully. It is a common term and nothing to do with the advent of the internet. My mother uses the term and she is in her 70's and has never used the internet.




Bobkgin -> RE: Yes this is likely to upset you (9/23/2007 6:22:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

Doormat is not an acurate description within this communicty.


Sez who?

According to my Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary ('74) Doormat means "one that submits without protest to abuse or indignities".

So when did the "community" decide "doormat" means something else?

If those who enjoy trampling wish to adopt the word for their own use, fine. They do so knowing it has a different definition used by the rest of the population.

If there is confusion, it is those who have tried to assign a new meaning (trampling) to the word who are creating it.

Now if you can get the dictionaries of the world to drop the definition I've quoted and create a new definition based on the one you've proposed, let me know.

But till then, a tiny minority in this "community" do not dictate definitions to the rest of us.



camille65 -> RE: Yes this is likely to upset you (9/23/2007 6:26:14 AM)

This thread is so weird to me.



amelliagrace -> RE: Yes this is likely to upset you (9/23/2007 6:50:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

This thread is so weird to me.


True, but it also says rather interesting things about individuals who've posed to it.
 
-grace



Level -> RE: Yes this is likely to upset you (9/23/2007 7:40:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Well considering it is a turn of phrase i have been hearing and speaking for almost 34 years in the vanilla world i dont think i should find another word at all.
It is not laziness that makes me use this phrase it is the association of the word meaning a pushover, easily walked over.
Just because there are kinksters who enjoy this as an activity does not give the right for the word to solely refer to this.


Agreed.



Absolutemaster -> RE: Yes this is likely to upset you (9/23/2007 8:03:11 AM)

"Doormat" is a commonly-used term which most people understand.

Lazy?  Maybe, if using a single word to describe oneself - or what one doesn't wish to be - is lazy.  But then, are people who describe themselves as "submissive" also lazy because they use a single word to describe what is a complex and very personal perspective?

"Trampling" is also a commonly-used term which most people understand.

I don't see a problem with the current situation.



UR2Badored -> RE: Yes this is likely to upset you (9/23/2007 8:08:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

" Doormat is not an acurate description within this communicty.


So if I were to bring a pot luck dessert to a BDSM function, am I not allowed to put vanilla extract (concentrated vanilla--oh dear) in it or just not tell anyone the recipe?  That's cross-pollunating words (and contamination), and not an accurate use/description of a word within this community. 

If I subscribe to the above theory, can I no longer use the words top and bottom using the standard definition anymore?  Certainly this must apply to all words in our vocabulary..........I am such a fake! Oh dear, where does "fake" fit in (BDSM or computer culture) I could only wannabe more clear.  whoops! there I go.  Assuming we should comply to the sensitivities of everyone with each kinky  proclivity or every fetish, should we just eliminate the use nouns all together?

quote:

ORIGINAL: amelliagrace

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

This thread is so weird to me.


True, but it also says rather interesting things about individuals who've posed to it.
 
-grace

This thread makes me so weird.



Bobkgin -> RE: Yes this is likely to upset you (9/23/2007 8:53:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UR2Badored

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

" Doormat is not an acurate description within this communicty.


So if I were to bring a pot luck dessert to a BDSM function, am I not allowed to put vanilla extract (concentrated vanilla--oh dear) in it or just not tell anyone the recipe?  That's cross-pollunating words (and contamination), and not an accurate use/description of a word within this community. 

If I subscribe to the above theory, can I no longer use the words top and bottom using the standard definition anymore?  Certainly this must apply to all words in our vocabulary..........I am such a fake! Oh dear, where does "fake" fit in (BDSM or computer culture) I could only wannabe more clear.  whoops! there I go.  Assuming we should comply to the sensitivities of everyone with each kinky  proclivity or every fetish, should we just eliminate the use nouns all together?

quote:

ORIGINAL: amelliagrace

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

This thread is so weird to me.


True, but it also says rather interesting things about individuals who've posed to it.
 
-grace

This thread makes me so weird.


lol

There are a lot of words that could fit such a list.

But "doormat" already has a meaning in the BDSM culture: the same one it has in the vanilla culture. We see it used here all the time.

This is the first I've heard that tramplers want to reserve it for their exclusive use.

BoiJen? None of this was 'un-obvious' when you started this thread. You seem intelligent and pragmatic enough to have realized this.

So what was the purpose behind this thread?



missturbation -> RE: Yes this is likely to upset you (9/23/2007 10:12:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Well considering it is a turn of phrase i have been hearing and speaking for almost 34 years in the vanilla world i dont think i should find another word at all.
It is not laziness that makes me use this phrase it is the association of the word meaning a pushover, easily walked over.
Just because there are kinksters who enjoy this as an activity does not give the right for the word to solely refer to this.


Agreed.


I hope you know that where i come from that translates into 'will u marry me misst?' [:D]



UR2Badored -> RE: Yes this is likely to upset you (9/23/2007 11:03:20 AM)

edited.....I will shutup! [sm=tongue.gif] 



hardbodysub -> RE: Yes this is likely to upset you (9/23/2007 5:32:39 PM)

In response to the OP, it's commonly referred to as a trampling fetish, and yes, it's been fairly common for a long time; no, I haven't seen any noticeable increase in its prevalence; and no, I haven't seen an increasing use of "doormat" to refer to trampling afficionados. Use it if you like, but "doormat" already has a couple pretty universally understood definitions, both literal and figurative, and adding a third is only going to lead to confusion.



xoxi -> RE: Yes this is likely to upset you (9/23/2007 6:17:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UR2Badored

So if I were to bring a pot luck dessert to a BDSM function, am I not allowed to put vanilla extract (concentrated vanilla--oh dear) in it or just not tell anyone the recipe?  That's cross-pollunating words (and contamination), and not an accurate use/description of a word within this community. 

If I subscribe to the above theory, can I no longer use the words top and bottom using the standard definition anymore?  Certainly this must apply to all words in our vocabulary..........I am such a fake! Oh dear, where does "fake" fit in (BDSM or computer culture) I could only wannabe more clear.  whoops! there I go.  Assuming we should comply to the sensitivities of everyone with each kinky  proclivity or every fetish, should we just eliminate the use nouns all together?




Quoted for emphasis.

I want to be able to eat my French Vanilla ice cream without having to feel bad that poor Pierre was ground up and turned into food for refusing to partake in a bit of spanky spanky [sm=tongue.gif]



Celeste43 -> RE: Yes this is likely to upset you (9/23/2007 9:35:10 PM)

I've never heard of anyone who is into trampling say they want to be a doormat. Had no idea that the rest of us using the term figuratively instead of literally was causing such a tizzy in the trampling types.

Live and learn.



Politesub53 -> RE: Yes this is likely to upset you (9/24/2007 3:04:47 AM)

Well there was one submissive who asked about being a doormat/carpet a few weeks ago.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1161978/mpage_1/key_carpet%252Ctile/tm.htm#1163222

I can see what boijen menas about people being lazy using just one word, conversely why use six words when one will do the job ?



Areflectionofyou -> RE: Yes this is likely to upset you (9/24/2007 3:37:21 AM)

to each his own is my opinion on how people choose to walk down the d/s path



chellekitty -> RE: Yes this is likely to upset you (9/24/2007 5:45:35 AM)

why isn't Jen in my room yet?



LordODiscipline -> RE: Yes this is likely to upset you (10/7/2007 10:43:54 AM)

Obviously, you were not reading the OP well - and/or my response... she was speaking about the colloquial of the sub-culture - not about the origination/outside references as they apply to submissives, et al.

So - they are 'germaine' and valid...

And, I am back to my orginal response: Neener, neener... ;)

~J
quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

Doormat is doormat, regardless of bdsm.  It all means the same thing, with the exception of objectification.  No one was establishing etymology, simply pointing out that your reference to colloquialisms spawned by the computer culture are not germane in this regard.



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