ontheprowl58
Posts: 6
Joined: 9/21/2007
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quote:
: 6
RE: Help Me Please! I am a new Sub and I am having pro... - 9/21/2007 5:18:48 PM
Well, I sent her a copy of yor original post, and My Mistress called me and allowed me to speak freely about my frustrations. We both agree we have to modify the way we are doing things, and my Mistress needs to communicate her needs better, as it is very difficult for me to figure out what they are. Mistress said she will think more about how to modify training for the internet. Meanwhile, I am continuing to reaserch. I will have to find outif there are local clubs, but I'd be surprised. Probably can find something within an hours drive though. Neither one of us seems ready to give up at this point. Part of the problem was that she had major emergency surgery a week after I met her. Mistress has been in pain and bored in general and admittedly not in the best of moods. She normally works a full time job and has two older teens.
For whatever reason I am amzingly drawn to her and the BDSM lifestyle and how I think both could help me make some long needed positive changes in my life. I have a lot of faith in my ability to judge people even though I am not in the BDSM life. I find her to be kind and gentle.
The major concern for Mistress seems to be her lack of ability to administer correction when needed, There are times it is needed. But it is a very hard thing to do over the internet. I haven't met her in person. I haven't felt the sting of her floggers, I have never experienced the sting of any floggers. All I've ever done is fantasize about it. I have a feeling that after I spend a little time with her in person, I'll understand better what it is to feel the sting and I'll be able to view the correction as pain and not potential pleasure.
As far as writing goes, I have written several scenes for her and she always thrilled. She even posted on in her blog. I've been able to do some pretty quick thinking to create scenes during chat, but it's hard for me to think when I know Mistress is waiting for the next sentence. Mistress is just so bored right now.
PS, we talked for about 3 hours on the phone (well four hours if you count the fun part) and I think we communicated really well our different concerns. Having never been in this type relationship, and having led an extrememly undisciplined existence for my entire life (I am 49 and I mostly play cards for a living), I am not used to controling my tongue (or chat). Whatever rolls off my tongue does, I don't think about it. I call almost everyone I know sweetie or honey, male and female alike. I've even called my Mom sweetie, it's just a term, of endearment, but it's a throwaway word, no body pays much attention to it, I don't even notice that I'm doing it. Of course, Mistress notices when I do not address her as Mistress.
I have more or less been in training for about a week, I've managed to call her sweetie (more than once) honey, baby, her given name, her screen name, and a few other endearments uttered at times when I am definitely not thinking about what I am saying. For understandable reasons Mistress feels I disrespect her when I do not address her as Mistress. It is in our contract (nothing is signed, just the proposed contract). I agree that it is in the contract and should stay there. I am happy to address her properly as Mistress. Except I slip. I slipped 4 times tonight (3 of them during throes of passion). She let it go and did not punish me. It's obvious I am not saying it intentionally to disrespect her, I think she finally realized that. I think Mistress realizes that I want to lose this bad habit and I will work to lose this bad habit, but that it may take a few weeks, not a few days. I have had the habit my whole life.
Anyway, I appreciate all the comments and I'll be lurking and occassionally posting here.
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Help Me Please! I am a new Sub and I am having problem... - 
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