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subs who need breaking in! - 9/21/2007 5:56:23 PM

subhumansoul

Posts: 1
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

I have been trying to break into the sceen for some time now yet i am finding it quiet difficult. i am 30 now and been bursting to get into the sceen. I'm not just looking for kinky fun but to actually go deeper into the sub side of my psyche. Which has been extreamly difficult there are a lot of Want-to-be doms out there but actualy finding a real one that will do more than reply to the ocasional email is proving difficult in the extream.
What advice tips can you offer? And are there any doms out there who seek a genuine kind sub to take to task and teach me the way of the sub,

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RE: subs who need breaking in! - 9/21/2007 6:13:21 PM

LadyLynx

Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline

If you haven't already check out your local bdsm community. While this is good site in a alot of ways, most people have better luck in finding what they are looking for in real life communities. If you are not sure how to start looking, browser search the name of your city/town (or nearest big city.) with the word munch. For instance I am from the Detroit area so I searched: Detroit Munch. It is possible that you might have to drive a ways, But I believe it is worth it. Take your time in finding your One. I know you feel like you want to find your One, right now! But it is worth the wait. hmmm. participating on the message boards also helps,(as well as being polite, and intelligent.) Well Good luck and I hope this helps!

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

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RE: subs who need breaking in! - 9/21/2007 6:28:31 PM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

Is this where the line starts?

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

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RE: subs who need breaking in! - 9/21/2007 6:40:07 PM

flowspen

Posts: 133
Joined: 5/5/2007
From: Memphis
Status: offline

i do agree with LadyLynx.. the local BDSM community has been a valuable asset. i would recommend that to anyone who is just getting into this. i think there are plenty of Doms/Mistresses looking for good subs. Still i am finding out that taking Your time is very important and make sure You know yourself well so you can find the correct person to guide you.

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RE: subs who need breaking in! - 9/22/2007 6:11:12 AM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

Advice tips?

The way of the sub?

You're already half way there (grasshopper).

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

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RE: subs who need breaking in! - 9/22/2007 6:37:47 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Besides the excellent advice to get involved in your local community I want to add something else: Get to know yourself. (the following is not directed at the OP but general advice to bottoms and some of it applies equally to tops)

Read! Some local groups have lending libraries, use them if they do. If not, you may need some extra cash. If you want some suggestions for books, look around for threads about that or ask on here.

Write! When you go to an event or read something, take the time to write about it afterwards and then again the next day or two. Really become active in learning by looking inside at what you think and feel about what you've read/witnessed/participated in.

Volunteer! After a few munches or meetings you might notice that local groups are looking for help. Offer your help even if it's just cleaning up the place post a party. Not only do some people in the bottom/sub role find the service rewarding but it's a good way to get known. Groups always lack good workers so being one will get you noticed plus over time you may discover simply through repeated volunteering you become part of the "inner circle" which is not a bad place to be.

Experience! Stop setting your sights on one dominant forever. Get some experience in just as a bottom, get some experience in just as a casual submissive. How can you know for certain what you like and what you have to offer until you've gotten some activities and time under your belt (so to speak). Now I know a lot of folks have this romantic notice of finding "the One" who will teach them everything and be their forever -- when that rarely works in the vanilla world why think it will work in the kinky one? Learn as much as you can and that knowledge will empower you to find a great partner(s) in the future.

Relax! You have the rest of your life ahead of you. Honestly being too anxious and eager can be a bit scary to others and undermine your ability to find a partner OR it can attract users and abusers. Try to be yourself and that calm will be attractive to others.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: subs who need breaking in! - 9/22/2007 11:32:38 AM

iammachine

Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Which has been extreamly difficult there are a lot of Want-to-be doms out there but actualy finding a real one that will do more than reply to the ocasional email is proving difficult in the extream.
What advice tips can you offer? And are there any doms out there who seek a genuine kind sub to take to task and teach me the way of the sub,

Clearly, your lack of success is due to the fact that the Dommes you've contacted are not genuine, and has nothing to do with the fact that maybe they just are not compatible with you.

There are a lot of threads geared towards this kind of subject, with lots of great suggestions about how to make introductions, and how to be more attractive to a potential play partner. I suggest you utilize a little forum-fu and read them.

As for a simple suggestion for here: proof reading, grammar/spell check, and using colors that contrast enough to be legible on your profile.

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I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

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