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Guaranteed to offend! - 9/21/2007 8:03:01 PM   
InkedMaster


Posts: 342
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline


THESE WILL OFFEND EVERYONE

1. Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?

A: Not being retarded

2. Q: What's blue and fucks old people?

A: Hypothermia

3. Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the Battered wives' shelter?

A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her

4. Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time?

A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.

5. Q: What is the definition of "making love"?

A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.

6. Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?

A: Gonorrhea

7. Q. What's the difference between acne and  Michael Jackson?

A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 Years old.

8. Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise &semen?

A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an hour.

9. Q. Why do women call it PMS?

A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

10. Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq?

A. They don't want to wear out the camel.

11. Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

12. Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?

A. Look inside your pants; if you have a dick, it's not time.

13. Q. Do you know how Rednecks practice safe sex?

A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.

14. Q. Why is divorce so expensive?

A. Because it's worth it




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TOURETTE SYNDROME: It's no mother f*cking joke, you God d*mn c*ck sucking f*ck!

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RE: Guaranteed to offend! - 9/21/2007 8:49:22 PM   
Pulpsmack


Posts: 394
Joined: 4/15/2004
From: Louisiana
Status: offline 		I'm not offended. Do I get my money back?

(in reply to InkedMaster)
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RE: Guaranteed to offend! - 9/22/2007 4:52:23 AM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		lmfaooooooo-thank gawd i swallowed the coffee right before reading this

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it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

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RE: Guaranteed to offend! - 9/22/2007 4:54:11 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks Inked

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RE: Guaranteed to offend! - 9/22/2007 11:00:57 AM   
HypnoticDan


Posts: 463
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline 		Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it feet first in the blender?

A: I don't know either. I was too busy masturbating.

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RE: Guaranteed to offend! - 9/22/2007 11:28:56 AM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		lol.. cute jokes thanks !

(in reply to InkedMaster)
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RE: Guaranteed to offend! - 9/22/2007 11:59:08 AM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Remember no jokes mentioning minors, or beastiality or this thread wll be deleted.

< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 9/22/2007 12:21:59 PM >

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RE: Guaranteed to offend! - 9/22/2007 2:09:38 PM   
HypnoticDan


Posts: 463
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline 		...I meant a baby pet rock. Yeah... pet rock...

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RE: Guaranteed to offend! - 9/22/2007 4:47:20 PM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		Will it blend?


< Message edited by FullCircle -- 9/22/2007 4:50:59 PM >

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∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

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RE: Guaranteed to offend! - 9/22/2007 7:26:29 PM   
HypnoticDan


Posts: 463
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline 		Better even than an iPhone!

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RE: Guaranteed to offend! - 9/22/2007 7:38:51 PM   
ferriemistie


Posts: 51
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline 		not really offended.. i laughted at a few of 'em

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RE: Guaranteed to offend! - 9/23/2007 8:58:57 AM   
mischievousone


Posts: 164
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline 		No offense taken here!  Enjoyed them.

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RE: Guaranteed to offend! - 9/23/2007 9:05:55 AM   
painlovingsub


Posts: 44
Joined: 2/7/2007
From: my mother :p
Status: offline 		Well not completely offended... i did laugh at some of them... lol :p

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*smile*

"The more powerful and original a mind, the more it will incline towards the religion of solitude." - Aldous Huxley

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RE: Guaranteed to offend! - 9/23/2007 8:11:10 PM   
favesclava


Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		a joke's a joke. not offended. just has to be funny and they were.

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RE: Guaranteed to offend! - 9/24/2007 9:30:41 AM   
Saratov


Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		11. Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

A(1). With practice most guys can hit a golf ball.

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RE: Guaranteed to offend! - 9/24/2007 8:42:31 PM   
Zmey


Posts: 40
Joined: 9/23/2007
Status: offline 		I'm outraged!!! What happened to ethnic and racial jokes I was preparing my self for?!

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RE: Guaranteed to offend! - 9/24/2007 11:11:33 PM   
HotFaerieMama


Posts: 2617
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline 		that was too funnie...

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RE: Guaranteed to offend! - 9/24/2007 11:44:23 PM   
scifi1133


Posts: 8529
Joined: 3/27/2007
From: virginia
Status: offline 		lol that was pretty good

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awwwwwww yeeeeeeeeah
And I see your schwartz is as big as mine.
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RE: Guaranteed to offend! - 9/25/2007 3:43:29 PM   
Saratov


Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Zmey

I'm outraged!!! What happened to ethnic and racial jokes I was preparing my self for?!


 They're reading this stuff along with the rest of us.

(in reply to Zmey)
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RE: Guaranteed to offend! - 9/26/2007 11:53:24 AM   
LordNarwhal


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/24/2007
Status: offline 		Did you hear about the guy that was into bestiality, SnM and necrophilia? He stopped though. He came to the conclusion he was just beating a dead horse...

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