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Late to the Party - 9/21/2007 8:07:46 PM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		The recent thread about others first D/s experience got me to thinking that I really didn't have any early experiences of enjoying dominance or submission. I don't recall any sexual interests that involved BDSM either.

It was more of a development over time. A long time.

Sooooo anyone else out there who was late to the party?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Late to the Party - 9/21/2007 8:36:49 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Well, I think age 42 could be called "late to the party", so yes. I didn't even realize BDSM was a sub-culture, until then.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 9/21/2007 8:41:21 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Late to the Party - 9/21/2007 8:40:25 PM   
lighthearted


Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		lol...me too.  41.  but hey, 40 is the new 30

seriously, I dreamt about it, but lack of knowledge kept me from fulfillment.  I'm doing a pretty decent job of making up for lost time though.

_____________________________

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Late to the Party - 9/21/2007 8:45:57 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		A lot of them are late- or late in allowing their expressions to run free.  A lot of people today did the whole vanilla marriage and kids thing, and then had their "kinky life crisis" and got into the scene then.

While I did a lot of things and had a lot of fantasies growing up which were indicative of being kinky and such, it wasn't at all the same as expressing and owning myself as a slave which I didn't do until 18.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to lighthearted)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Late to the Party - 9/21/2007 9:02:11 PM   
lighthearted


Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		I think it's also tied a bit to when/where I grew up; in the early 80s it was a huge deal for people to come out of the closet, let alone try and figure out what to do with kinky impulses.  without any kinky friends, no internet and no cel phone, it wasn't as easy to get information as it is for me now.

_____________________________

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Late to the Party - 9/21/2007 10:21:41 PM   
secretagentgirl


Posts: 70
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline 		Yes - I'm 43 and just started finally really thinking about what I wanted sexually.  I always wished for a guy who would take control, take the lead etc.  I didn't think it meant more than that but as I've started this mid-life sexual introspection process, I realized I probably wanted to take it further than that.  And my first few experiences have proven that right.

There is that blog called something like "Confessions of an English Gentlemen" that is very well written.  The author had one column where he said that a lot of the women who contact him only discovered their submissive side in their late 30's-early 40's when they were already committed to another (non Dom) partner.  I thought "Oh great, I am just a lame stereotype!"  Sigh.

(in reply to lighthearted)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Late to the Party - 9/21/2007 10:30:41 PM   
corsetgirl


Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline 		I, too, first found out at 43 years old about the lifestyle.  I was intrigued when I read the "Story of O" at 23 years old but threw the book away when it came time to brand O (I guess you can say that I was not meant to have masochistic tendencies except being married to my ex husband but that was vanilla).

I think the reason why I was late to the party was because I grew up Catholic and had thoughts of having that ideal vanilla marriage, my own children but that never lasted.  So, I am single and free to explore things that I would not have discovered in that vanilla world.

(in reply to secretagentgirl)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Late to the Party - 9/21/2007 10:49:05 PM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		Looks like it is getting to be quite a party. *L* I was forty-ish when I started exploring BDSM.

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Late to the Party - 9/21/2007 11:19:55 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline 		Late (yes), confused (still), still wandering around wishing I had a Pepsi?

(Uh huh).

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Late to the Party - 9/22/2007 4:42:59 AM   
Cyntilating


Posts: 581
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

The recent thread about others first D/s experience got me to thinking that I really didn't have any early experiences of enjoying dominance or submission. I don't recall any sexual interests that involved BDSM either.

It was more of a development over time. A long time.

Sooooo anyone else out there who was late to the party?


nodding yes...   35 yrs  ..but in retrospect, any earlier and it could have been a completely different experience ( in a negative sense)..so no regrets..
 


_____________________________

Cyndi

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Late to the Party - 9/22/2007 6:05:51 AM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Griswold

Late (yes), confused (still), still wandering around wishing I had a Pepsi?

(Uh huh).


I read your profile Griswold. I have to ask, what do you have against knitting? *g*

(in reply to Griswold)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Late to the Party - 9/22/2007 6:17:13 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		hey, what do you know...you're only 27 

i was just joking btw...hey...do you wanna meet up at SAADE next month....or for coffee after? lol...


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Late to the Party - 9/22/2007 6:41:37 AM   
apiercedkitty


Posts: 569
Joined: 2/22/2007
From: Michigan
Status: offline 		That was me... vanilla marriage... kids... then (at 34), i found myself free to discover what REALLY made me happy :) 3 years down the road and i'm finally getting a clue. Don't get me wrong - i don't regret that early time cuz i have my beautiful kids... but i am glad that i can now take some time for me.

_____________________________

normal is a setting on a washing machine...

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Late to the Party - 9/22/2007 7:18:30 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		I was early to the party-decided it was boring-and went to the munch instead.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Late to the Party - 9/22/2007 8:37:31 AM   
Pyrrsefanie


Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline 		I showed up early and helped set up!

But my mom didn't show up until she was in her mid-30s.... up until that she was overly conservative about EVERYTHING, maybe it had something to do with repression?  At any rate, she'd probably be dancing on a table with a lampshade on her head at this party now.

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Late to the Party - 9/22/2007 10:04:26 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty
hey, what do you know...you're only 27 

i was just joking btw...hey...do you wanna meet up at SAADE next month....or for coffee after? lol...

Will certainly be trying to- we'll be at the munch today also.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Late to the Party - 9/22/2007 10:31:14 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		cool...i don't go to austin munches...too far for a couple of hours of talking...if i want to go to the parties i just go in Draco and Nova's back pockets and no one cares....hmmm actually...i will call them and see if they are taking the baby bitches car up lol....coordination...there should be awards given for it....
i was at the show and tell last week...just happened to show up after almost everyone left, and conviced almost everyone that was left to go to waffle house....hehe


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Late to the Party - 9/22/2007 1:33:58 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		ok i am coming, i will be wearing bells

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Late to the Party - 9/22/2007 1:57:57 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		<fast reply>

Hiya TN!!!!.. nice to see you again ...

I wouldn't say i'm early nor late. Just been involved for so long.... not really able to remember the beginning sometimes... it's been a part of my life for so long. But I do have to say cudos to those still arriving to the the never ending party of fun...and life.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Late to the Party - 9/22/2007 4:54:21 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		Looks like I am really late for the party  just starting out at 48 

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 20
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