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domtimothy46176 -> RE: preventing vanilla! (7/20/2005 7:30:13 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kinkypupper
To slip into a total 100% vanilla I do not think its possable..
To become "Familiar" and "comfortable" with a relationship that it has many "examples" of a vanilla relationship is not a bad thing..
One cannot live in a TOTAL 24/7 bdsm relationship for years at a time.
I think it depends on one's definition of what constitutes 24/7 bdsm relationships. While the floggings or whatnot may not be engaged in all the time, the recognition of who and what we are isn't something that waxes and wanes.
In response to the OP, I try to not take toy's service for granted. I find that if I allow myself to become so engaged in the mundane details of life that I fail to respond to her service appropriately, I upset the balance of our household. It's often an intangible difference, as she continues to serve well, but the atmosphere becomes less than it should be, more hollow, perhaps.
Were she other than she is, I can imagine she might withdraw her service at such times, in a tit-for-tat type of exchange until I once again began to pay attention to the running of the household. I could, in such an instance, see the possibility of things fading into a more vanilla-style dynamic. One would presume that the solution lie in not allowing preoccupation to initiate such a chain reaction in the first place.
I agree, however, with siamsa's POV. If it's that much work, perhaps the parties are striving for an unnatural level of D/s. I don't aspire to have more control than I am comfortable wielding on a constant level. I'm too lazy to bite off more than I can comfortably chew and I never want to have to actually work at being consistent with toy. I want it to flow naturally because it's who and what I am. I owe her that honest reaction.
Good topic, looking forward to reading others' opinions.
Timothy
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