SeeksOnlyOne
Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
|
>>WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN
>>
>>1) NUDITY
>>
>>I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening
when
>>a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was
stark
>>naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout
from
>>the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
>>
>>
>>2) OPINIONS
>>
>>On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note
>>from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child
>>are not necessarily those of his parents"
>>
>>
>>3) KETCHUP
>>
>>A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her
>>struggle the phone rang, so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to
answer
>>the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now.
>>She's hitting the bottle."
>>
>>
>>4) MORE NUDITY
>>
>>A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
>>locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with
>>ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched
in
>>amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a
>>little boy before?"
>>
>>
>>5) POLICE # 1
>>
>>While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
>>interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at
>>my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and
continued
>>writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask
>>the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well,
>>then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please
>>tie my shoe?"
>>
>>
>>6) POLICE # 2
>>
>>It was the end of the day when I parked my patrol unit in front of the
>>station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was
barking,
>>and I saw a little boy staring in at me "Is that a dog you got back
>>there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at
me
>>and then towards the back of the car. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
>>
>>
>>7) ELDERLY
>>
>>While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
>>shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon
rounds.
>>She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,
>>particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her
>>staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced
myself
>>for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
>>whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
>>
>>
>>8) DRESS-UP
>>
>>A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw
>>her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear
that
>>suit." "And why not, darling?" "Because you know that it always gives
>>you a headache the next morning. "
>>
>>
>>9) DEATH
>>
>>While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
>>heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
>>Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead
robin.
>>Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a
small
>>box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the
disposal
>>of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate
>>prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he
thought
>>his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the
Sonnn,
>>and into the hole he goooes."
>>
>>
>>10) SCHOOL
>>
>>A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
>>wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't
write,
>>and they won't let me talk!"
>>
>>11) BIBLE
>>
>>A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he
>>fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the
>>Bible He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old
>>leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I
>>found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With
>>astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's
Adam's
>>underwear.
_____________________________
it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville
in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?
|
those darn kids.... - 
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