RE: Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman!

RE: Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman! (Full Version)

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feastie -> RE: Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman! (9/23/2007 10:15:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level O, I agree, there are a number of older women that just floor me. Stunning, and so many of them have so many self-doubts. Kinda sad. Of course we have self-doubts. Every day we are subject to all forms of media that tell us if we're not a nubile twenty-year-old, we have no value to men. There are no fantasy posters of regular women. The women in catalogs selling us our clothes are not like us. Men may not mean to compare us to those things, but women feel that we are compared to those types of things. Further still, are the vast majority of men that are only concerned with a woman's appearance and sex. It's said that men become distinguished as they age. It's not said about women. Women just get old. We see our faults and that's pretty much all we see. This wrinkle, that gray hair, breasts that aren't where they used to be, the butt that sags or the belly covered in stretch marks from pregnancy. It screams at us everywhere, from every outlet and from watching men our age dump women our age and go for that nubile twenty-year-old. Is it the fault of men? No. Is it the fault of women? Again, no. It's just that men and women perceive these issues completely differently and they've yet, in most cases, figured out how to bridge that gap.

CuriousLord -> RE: Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman! (9/23/2007 10:42:05 AM)
Great points. Sort of curious.. why is it that men become "distinguished"? I can understand the gaining of respect for an older person, but that's for both genders.. why is it that this "distinguished" quality effects their ability to gain sexual partners?

ChicagoSwitchMal -> RE: Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman! (9/23/2007 11:21:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CuriousLord Great points. Sort of curious.. why is it that men become "distinguished"? I can understand the gaining of respect for an older person, but that's for both genders.. why is it that this "distinguished" quality effects their ability to gain sexual partners? It's one of those great ironys of life. Why is it alot of (not all) women don't apreciate sex in their younger years and early mariage (leaving us male sex addicts to beat off in the shower) only then to suddenly become obsessed with sex right around the time men don't quite well, stand up to the challenge anymore? Men become distinguished so they can have the sex with the younger women they deserved years ago (and don't know any better) while women don't so they can enjoy sex younger men (who don't give a damn). While I sit here and wait for the flaming - this post was based on loose observations, steriotypes, and a small element of truth. It was intended for humors sake.

sophia37 -> RE: Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman! (9/23/2007 11:30:41 AM)
I think about the aging issue with my younger man, who's 8 years my junior. I think about it, but do nothing other than try to keep myself in good shape and stay on top the aging process in a well, distinguished way. So, my thought is to persue if it continues to interest you, and if it works between you two, the age difference tends to get put aside. Except as an aside during some gray days for us females. I pretty much got over it after the first 6 months.

ElectraGlide -> RE: Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman! (9/23/2007 11:31:17 AM)
Dating older ladies is cool. I do not have a preference for them, but always ended up dating them. I find them quite relaxed and easy going. Dam can they cook a awesome meal. So if you dont mind your older ladie talking about the first time they saw Elvis or the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan show with your mother, it is all fine.

popeye1250 -> RE: Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman! (9/23/2007 11:47:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CuriousLord quote: ORIGINAL: Level quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Dating older women can be cool....You might suggest that she start smoking or take up some sort of motorized racing....Since they are older and there is a distinct chance that you might outlive them....It's fun to hide their remains in your bathtub or basement and collect their social security checks. DG, I can't imagine why Mod11 would ever contact you..... lmao......... [:D] Any decent moderator would've banned domiguy ages ago. Yet, despite a somewhat.. aggressive.. moderator, he hasn't been banned yet. Therefore, it's my working theory that Mod11 masturbates furiously to domiguy's posts. But, then again, what sane woman wouldn't? LMAO! My cousin and a few of his friends were banging one of their Teachers in high school. Can you imagine her poor replacement? "Homework?" "Our other teacher used to have SEX with us!"

pahunkboy -> RE: Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman! (9/23/2007 11:51:46 AM)
aha! see? all men are WHORES given the chance! [ladies and promise of marriage and family blocks much of the whoring]

heartcream -> RE: Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman! (9/23/2007 12:22:49 PM)
i like this thread. in my books 10 years either way is not going out of the way. i have several friends who the woman is 10 years older and they have been together for ages, have kids. i am almost 50, it freaks me out that this happened to me. i am lucky in that i dont look too bad for an older gal. when i came back to canada after having been away in the usa for more than a decade some of the folks i knew back then said i looked better than i ever looked back then. i was a ball of nerves when i was younger, full of self-doubt and could barely relax around a man at all. i believed i was ugly and too imperfect lookin for life. i am lucky my body proportions are good and my inner life is pretty good and i think that may attribute to me looking better than i might for my age. mostly i am attracted to the younger men. i have not been married, dont have kids and i feel i relate better to them, or so i feel anyway. i am still insecure and that sux but i cant help it, i try to get myself altogether as best i can. being here on CM it seems even more than a 10 year diff might be okay with the right person because my borders seem to dissolve somewhat more here than other places. i dont know though if that would ever really work. i have been lied to about a guy being married and it sucked holes in 3-D. i have never been with a married man, dont DO married men and this guy tricked me. he is the last guy i dated. i am waiting for the right feeling connection. if he is my age, older or younger it is okay with me.

sexyred1 -> RE: Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman! (9/23/2007 12:42:09 PM)
The typical age of men who ask me out is 34. I appreciate that and am equally attracted. My ex is 13 years younger than me. I see nothing wrong in dating younger/older as long as there is attraction. As for the question over whether you date a body or a soul; the answer is this: you are initially attracted to the body/face and you fall in love with mind/soul. Regarding self doubt of older women. As stated above, the media thrusts constant youthful unattainable images at women and makes many of them lose confidence. Confidence is the one thing that makes any woman beautiful. The man or woman in love never sees the physical flaws of the one they are in love with, trust me on this. My ex boyfriend thinks I look exactly the same now as I did when he first laid eyes on me 10 years ago and others have said the same thing who I have know for 20 years; I think they are insane, but they see me the way their minds have captured me. People in love/lust still see the vision of the person they fell in love/lust with. Confidence makes you stay desirable no matter what your age.

subtee -> RE: Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman! (9/23/2007 1:44:17 PM)
I get a lot of messages from the young fellas. I always figure they're kidding or that they're assuming that I'm desperate to get laid. What I wanna know is, how can they tell???

windchymes -> RE: Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman! (9/23/2007 1:53:31 PM)
I think the bottom line of this story isn't that she's older, or Polish, or has wrinkles or whatever. The bottom line is that your subconscious is telling you that there's something not to be trusted about this woman, since you have doubts about her story. You could have these same doubts for someone younger, the same age as you, older, whatever. I would focus on WHY you feel these doubts, instead of trying to explain them away by citing her age and your past track record with "older women". You're trying to convince yourself that you should ignore these "warnings" that your inner voice is trying to tell you so that you can have sex with her with a clear conscience.

ChicagoSwitchMal -> RE: Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman! (9/23/2007 2:15:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: windchymes I think the bottom line of this story isn't that she's older, or Polish, or has wrinkles or whatever. The bottom line is that your subconscious is telling you that there's something not to be trusted about this woman, since you have doubts about her story. You could have these same doubts for someone younger, the same age as you, older, whatever. I would focus on WHY you feel these doubts, instead of trying to explain them away by citing her age and your past track record with "older women". You're trying to convince yourself that you should ignore these "warnings" that your inner voice is trying to tell you so that you can have sex with her with a clear conscience. My doubts about her story have their roots in being lied to by other married women. I currently don't know her well enough to 'trust' her yet as trust is earned, not issued at 1st glance for me. I also stated that I had erroniously cut off older women when I should have cut off MARRIED women. That was the reason for tying together the older women 'track record'. It's an admission of where I was wrong. There are no "warnings" as you say. She has not done or said anything to lead to mistrust. Am I to blame or attribute to this women the actions and lies or myself or others in the past? I think thats pretty unfair to her and to myself for that matter. I also don't really understand why you say I am just trying to have sex with her with a clear conscious. Do I want to have sex with her? Hell yes! But I don't need to clear my conscious of anything to do so. I'm not sure what you're getting at. When I started this thread I expected all sorts of reactions. Some supportive, some critisisms, some humor - etc, and that's fine. but I don't see how your post relates to the topic at all.

SnugasaBug -> RE: Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman! (9/23/2007 2:25:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy I had been banned from CM for a couple of months awhile back...That period has been referred to as the "Age of loss" in the annals of CM lore...It was a sad and bleak time for all involved. ~~~~~~~ Guess that makes you a historical person here... hehe

windchymes -> RE: Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman! (9/23/2007 6:39:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChicagoSwitchMal quote: ORIGINAL: windchymes I think the bottom line of this story isn't that she's older, or Polish, or has wrinkles or whatever. The bottom line is that your subconscious is telling you that there's something not to be trusted about this woman, since you have doubts about her story. You could have these same doubts for someone younger, the same age as you, older, whatever. I would focus on WHY you feel these doubts, instead of trying to explain them away by citing her age and your past track record with "older women". You're trying to convince yourself that you should ignore these "warnings" that your inner voice is trying to tell you so that you can have sex with her with a clear conscience. My doubts about her story have their roots in being lied to by other married women. I currently don't know her well enough to 'trust' her yet as trust is earned, not issued at 1st glance for me. I also stated that I had erroniously cut off older women when I should have cut off MARRIED women. That was the reason for tying together the older women 'track record'. It's an admission of where I was wrong. There are no "warnings" as you say. She has not done or said anything to lead to mistrust. Am I to blame or attribute to this women the actions and lies or myself or others in the past? I think thats pretty unfair to her and to myself for that matter. I also don't really understand why you say I am just trying to have sex with her with a clear conscious. Do I want to have sex with her? Hell yes! But I don't need to clear my conscious of anything to do so. I'm not sure what you're getting at. When I started this thread I expected all sorts of reactions. Some supportive, some critisisms, some humor - etc, and that's fine. but I don't see how your post relates to the topic at all. Well, perhaps it was the title of your thread *Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman!* And the statement I’ve been with four signifigantly older women. And *I should have known better by 30. I had it coming. I swore off older women. They’ve been nothing but problems.* So now, "another older woman" comes along who you, following your lifelong pattern, are attracted to again. Instead of heeding the warnings in your head about possibly repeating mistakes you say you made in your past, you now say this particular 50-year-old is *not old to me. She’s weathered by experience and each line in her face tells a story. I am fascinated by her.* But, I’m worried that all or part of her life’s story (including the part about being widowed) is a lie. I’m pretty sure she is not kinky but the subject hasn’t come up yet. If so that’s going to be a frustration for me for obvious reasons. I’m also worried that her concerns over the age difference will result in her deciding not to pursue a relationship with me. So, you decided it wasn't older women that were trouble, it was married ones. But yet, this one is telling your she's single, but you're worried that she's lying about that, because she's older. SOMETHING is making you uneasy about the situation. If it was ME, and I was basing an uneasy feeling on my past experiences, then I would walk away from the situation. It does not sound as though you are doing that. Instead, it sounds like you are trying to find a way to have this woman without being responsible for your decision if it does go sour. To you, it's going to be her fault for either being older or married or not kinky. What I read in your original post is "not my fault, not my fault, not my fault, it's those damn older, no married, no older, no married, no not married but might be lying, women". What pertains to your post is that maybe you should listen to your instincts based on your past experiences, as you say, that are telling you this might be a bad situation. Learn from your mistakes, don't keep repeating them. If you can't trust someone, no matter what the reason for it, then you shouldn't enter into a relationship with them. Don't look for reasons to justify it and/or excuses for why it didn't work out. Does it make more sense now?

ChicagoSwitchMal -> RE: Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman! (9/23/2007 7:04:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: windchymes quote: ORIGINAL: ChicagoSwitchMal quote: ORIGINAL: windchymes I think the bottom line of this story isn't that she's older, or Polish, or has wrinkles or whatever. The bottom line is that your subconscious is telling you that there's something not to be trusted about this woman, since you have doubts about her story. You could have these same doubts for someone younger, the same age as you, older, whatever. I would focus on WHY you feel these doubts, instead of trying to explain them away by citing her age and your past track record with "older women". You're trying to convince yourself that you should ignore these "warnings" that your inner voice is trying to tell you so that you can have sex with her with a clear conscience. My doubts about her story have their roots in being lied to by other married women. I currently don't know her well enough to 'trust' her yet as trust is earned, not issued at 1st glance for me. I also stated that I had erroniously cut off older women when I should have cut off MARRIED women. That was the reason for tying together the older women 'track record'. It's an admission of where I was wrong. There are no "warnings" as you say. She has not done or said anything to lead to mistrust. Am I to blame or attribute to this women the actions and lies or myself or others in the past? I think thats pretty unfair to her and to myself for that matter. I also don't really understand why you say I am just trying to have sex with her with a clear conscious. Do I want to have sex with her? Hell yes! But I don't need to clear my conscious of anything to do so. I'm not sure what you're getting at. When I started this thread I expected all sorts of reactions. Some supportive, some critisisms, some humor - etc, and that's fine. but I don't see how your post relates to the topic at all. Well, perhaps it was the title of your thread *Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman!* And the statement I’ve been with four signifigantly older women. And *I should have known better by 30. I had it coming. I swore off older women. They’ve been nothing but problems.* So now, "another older woman" comes along who you, following your lifelong pattern, are attracted to again. Instead of heeding the warnings in your head about possibly repeating mistakes you say you made in your past, you now say this particular 50-year-old is *not old to me. She’s weathered by experience and each line in her face tells a story. I am fascinated by her.* But, I’m worried that all or part of her life’s story (including the part about being widowed) is a lie. I’m pretty sure she is not kinky but the subject hasn’t come up yet. If so that’s going to be a frustration for me for obvious reasons. I’m also worried that her concerns over the age difference will result in her deciding not to pursue a relationship with me. So, you decided it wasn't older women that were trouble, it was married ones. But yet, this one is telling your she's single, but you're worried that she's lying about that, because she's older. SOMETHING is making you uneasy about the situation. If it was ME, and I was basing an uneasy feeling on my past experiences, then I would walk away from the situation. It does not sound as though you are doing that. Instead, it sounds like you are trying to find a way to have this woman without being responsible for your decision if it does go sour. To you, it's going to be her fault for either being older or married or not kinky. What I read in your original post is "not my fault, not my fault, not my fault, it's those damn older, no married, no older, no married, no not married but might be lying, women". What pertains to your post is that maybe you should listen to your instincts based on your past experiences, as you say, that are telling you this might be a bad situation. Learn from your mistakes, don't keep repeating them. If you can't trust someone, no matter what the reason for it, then you shouldn't enter into a relationship with them. Don't look for reasons to justify it and/or excuses for why it didn't work out. Does it make more sense now? No actually it doesn't. If you read what I said in response to others posts you'd see I have taken full responsibility for my actions. I never said, not my fault. I said this weekend I realized I was wrong for blaming older women when it was my dating married women was the problem. If my post was about anything it was about the uncertainty and hope of entering a new relationship. For me that's a good thing becuase it's been a long time since I was hopeful enough about a new relationship to even have these feelings. I really think you are reading way to much into this. But you opinion is your opinion and you have the right to have it. If anyone agrees with all or part of what windchymes says I'd be happy for those thoughts too.

FullfigRIMaam -> RE: Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman! (9/23/2007 9:18:43 PM)
Actually windchymes post made a lot of sense to me in that you sound fairly ambivalent about this lady. You don't really sound that into her, mention her wrinkles show her years (was there a point to saying that other than she ain't all that), mention she isn't kinky and that's probably a problem to come, doubt that she is single as she says, are not at this point sure you would be interested in staying after 5-10years, so she feels even more insecure as an older lady in a society that doesn't really support older women/younger men combinations nearly as much as it does older men/younger women. Not sure if you'll like this, but this is just my opinion. M

Vendaval -> RE: Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman! (9/23/2007 10:23:24 PM)
Just take it easy and do not rush into the relationship, ChicagoSwitch. You know your own preferences and weaknesses so monitor your own behavior and think with both heads.

came4U -> RE: Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman! (9/23/2007 10:44:36 PM)
doesn't mentioning of rape of a minor (past, present or future) break TOS rule 4.6? Genderwise, I see no difference in a male being seduced in this way or a female of such a tender age. If I was your mom, that 30yr old would be still doing jail time and me waiting at the gates.

ChicagoSwitchMal -> RE: Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman! (9/24/2007 6:58:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMaam Actually windchymes post made a lot of sense to me in that you sound fairly ambivalent about this lady. You don't really sound that into her, mention her wrinkles show her years (was there a point to saying that other than she ain't all that), mention she isn't kinky and that's probably a problem to come, doubt that she is single as she says, are not at this point sure you would be interested in staying after 5-10years, so she feels even more insecure as an older lady in a society that doesn't really support older women/younger men combinations nearly as much as it does older men/younger women. Not sure if you'll like this, but this is just my opinion. M I don't have to like everything everyone says. If I wanted that posting in an open forum is the wrong place to be [:)] Still though I feel compelled to clarify my meaning. Mentioning her age (wrinkles) is relavent because it's a problem she has, not me. I think she's stunning. But I also understand that society is producing that doubt for her. I am WAY into her! She facinates me. And I think she's into me too. [:)] After I started this thread we talked for hours last night. I am feeling better and better about this. Off topic I married young (21) and was married until I was 28. For the next 10 years I played the field. Not with hood rats. Each were fairly long term but with each I think I/We knew it wasn't perminent. The fact that I even feel this way now I think is an evoluttiion for me. I don't know if that little part of history helps in understanding my concerns. But women aren't the only ones entitled to be a little scared when they start to care for someone. [;)] I also DONT KNOW if she's kinky or not. I hope she is. But I think that would be a concern for anyone on this forum who meets someone in a vanilla setting, really digs them, and the topic hasn't come up.

ChicagoSwitchMal -> RE: Oh no. I’m falling for another older woman! (9/24/2007 7:18:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: came4U doesn't mentioning of rape of a minor (past, present or future) break TOS rule 4.6? Genderwise, I see no difference in a male being seduced in this way or a female of such a tender age. If I was your mom, that 30yr old would be still doing jail time and me waiting at the gates. My parents didn't approve but didn't stop me. I guess times were different back then and it was "okay" for a boy to do it. I know for a fact that sex with her has perminently affected what turns me on. At the time I was just doing what every male at that age was trying to do. But then there was all this extra stuff. The crying, the screaming, the passing out... things that may be normal by some standards but that I wasn't prepared to deal with. Didn't stop me though. I was both freaked out and intrigued by what I was witnessing lying beneath me. Incidentally I google search her name after starting this thread. If a broke a TOS I am sorry. I wll review the rules and adjust accordingly. But by pointing it out are you trying to get me banned? If so, and you think what happened to me is wrong, aren't you punishing the victum then? That's imaterial really. I don't feel like a victum.

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