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Is it possible to be owned if? - 9/24/2007 9:19:23 AM

flowspen

Posts: 133
Joined: 5/5/2007
From: Memphis
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Do You think it is possible for a submissive that is in a relationship with someone else to be owned? Is the only thing available to that submissive is session play? Even if the partner approves and supports his/her efforts as well as is looking for one to serve themselves? is it possible for them both to have a Dominant in there life more than play only?

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RE: Is it possible to be owned if? - 9/24/2007 9:22:31 AM

LaTigresse

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I think most anything is possible. Wether or not I would be involved in the situation or not is a different animal. I don't like to share and I want my word to be the last word, not negotiated with a third participant, not even a passive one.

However it all depends on the people involved. Just because it's not for me doesn't mean it cannot work for others.

**edited because my brain was MIA

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 9/24/2007 9:24:57 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to flowspen)

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RE: Is it possible to be owned if? - 9/24/2007 9:33:05 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
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From: All over now in Minnesota
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Sure because it is a definition game. In terms of both parties feel this ownership depends on the two and if they are compatible.

Do I think anyone can feel owned or feel they own someone while being in another relationship, no, but I am sure there are people that are out there that can do it.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to flowspen)

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RE: Is it possible to be owned if? - 9/24/2007 10:05:06 AM

AFlyInYourWeb

Posts: 284
Joined: 8/30/2007
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I agree with "toservez". If both halves of a couple mutually agree that there is "ownership" in that relationship, it exists for them. Inside that relationship, only their definition counts.

(in reply to toservez)

Post #: 4

RE: Is it possible to be owned if? - 9/24/2007 10:11:16 AM

flowspen

Posts: 133
Joined: 5/5/2007
From: Memphis
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Interesting responses thank You... so in my profile then i should not mention being owned instead just looking to be claimed. The activities may be the same, the same time of service, the same level of service but without the definition of being owned.

(in reply to AFlyInYourWeb)

Post #: 5

RE: Is it possible to be owned if? - 9/24/2007 10:11:58 AM

pixelslave

Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: flowspen

Do You think it is possible for a submissive that is in a relationship with someone else to be owned? Is the only thing available to that submissive is session play? Even if the partner approves and supports his/her efforts as well as is looking for one to serve themselves? is it possible for them both to have a Dominant in there life more than play only?

I'd suggest you think in terms of service to the Dominant as well. There are plenty of subs for her to choose from, so why would she want to own you to only have sessions to play with if you also had a relationship with someone else as well?? The only reason I can think of would be if she were looking for a couple to dominate which didn't sound quite like the situation that you described.

You might find this question might also be better received and answered in a more useful manner if posed in more detail in the poly forum.

- pixel

Collared to Majik

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(in reply to flowspen)

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RE: Is it possible to be owned if? - 9/24/2007 10:18:25 AM

Smythe

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Joined: 12/31/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: flowspen

Do You think it is possible for a submissive that is in a relationship with someone else to be owned? Is the only thing available to that submissive is session play? Even if the partner approves and supports his/her efforts as well as is looking for one to serve themselves? is it possible for them both to have a Dominant in there life more than play only?

I do not believe that you can be "owned" if you are in another relationship. However, you can certainly be dominated in a more complete way than just session play. It really helps if all parties are in agreement.
The key to such an arrangement working is trust, not only of your partner, but your partner's partner.
Smythe

_____________________________

Do not consider painful what is good for you.
Euripides

(in reply to flowspen)

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RE: Is it possible to be owned if? - 9/24/2007 10:21:01 AM

flowspen

Posts: 133
Joined: 5/5/2007
From: Memphis
Status: offline

pixel...

hmm good idea, i will post there as well. To your question though: Well to us we are seeking Poly life and we wanted to have our Dominants as part of our family so it would be alot more than just play. i guess the best way is to find a Poly Dominant Couple. Where we both would could be owned by the couple. Maybe i didn't make it clear to the Mistresses i spoke to that we were also poly and not just a sub couple. Even in my question above i didn't state that fact.

(in reply to pixelslave)

Post #: 8

RE: Is it possible to be owned if? - 9/24/2007 10:26:09 AM

flowspen

Posts: 133
Joined: 5/5/2007
From: Memphis
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Smythe... i guess what i am trying to figure out is how to word my profile to reflect correctly what we seek so we attract the right people. Even now it is hard for me to put it into words.. What we invisioned was the Dominants having full control over us it is just that we would have to approve each others Dom. i guess we thought the Dom/Mistress would keep us as a couple though we served them together or apart. i think at first meeting it would be hard because we would have to slowly release that kind of control over us to someone making sure their intentions were not to seperate us. i am beginning to think that a Dom Couple is the best solution because it is harder to find one of each for us as the two Doms would not be working together. Also i have to visit the poly thread more. Maybe we are looking for the wrong types of people or not looking in the right areas

(in reply to flowspen)

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RE: Is it possible to be owned if? - 9/24/2007 2:08:25 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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I'm going to put in My two cents here, even though My rambling probably isn't going to live up to the value of a penny.

Above, it was mentioned that it is a matter of definition. I couldn't agree more with that.

I have a submissive who does happen to be married. Even further, he happens to be a member of the military. To some, that would equate to him having two owners who come before Me. In truth, on these very boards, I've said I would never (We all know those statements come back to haunt Us) take a submissive who was in this situation. I mention that because I certainly understand those who wouldn't consider doing it.

Yet, by the definition of the dynamic, I consider him owned. He considers himself owned. No one challenges the fact that he's owned. In the local and extended BDSM community, he's been accepted as being My submissive, My boy, and is known as that. I could take all day explaining all the little details of how it works, what the limits are, and the boundries that it entails, but if you'd prefer the short answer........

He's owned.

(in reply to flowspen)

Post #: 10

RE: Is it possible to be owned if? - 9/24/2007 2:47:27 PM

flowspen

Posts: 133
Joined: 5/5/2007
From: Memphis
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm going to put in My two cents here, even though My rambling probably isn't going to live up to the value of a penny.

Above, it was mentioned that it is a matter of definition. I couldn't agree more with that.

I have a submissive who does happen to be married. Even further, he happens to be a member of the military. To some, that would equate to him having two owners who come before Me. In truth, on these very boards, I've said I would never (We all know those statements come back to haunt Us) take a submissive who was in this situation. I mention that because I certainly understand those who wouldn't consider doing it.

Yet, by the definition of the dynamic, I consider him owned. He considers himself owned. No one challenges the fact that he's owned. In the local and extended BDSM community, he's been accepted as being My submissive, My boy, and is known as that. I could take all day explaining all the little details of how it works, what the limits are, and the boundries that it entails, but if you'd prefer the short answer........

He's owned.

Yes i think You said exactly how i was feeling about this subject. i know it is possible You are an example of that and i think others feel it is possible here. i guess the thing is communicating that on a profile that will attract those Dominants who would at least consider it.

Sometimes i feel that Mistresses feel i can't please them because i have someone and it is like i dont even get a chance to prove myself or disprove myself. i remember when i was alot younger i use to say that a Mistress had to look and act a certain way for me to submit to her until that day that Mistress who didn't fit my profile got me to submit and it blew my mind. i dont know if that makes sense to You but thank You for Your comment.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 11

RE: Is it possible to be owned if? - 9/24/2007 5:52:53 PM

ocilla

Posts: 1764
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm going to put in My two cents here, even though My rambling probably isn't going to live up to the value of a penny.

Above, it was mentioned that it is a matter of definition. I couldn't agree more with that.

I have a submissive who does happen to be married. Even further, he happens to be a member of the military. To some, that would equate to him having two owners who come before Me. In truth, on these very boards, I've said I would never (We all know those statements come back to haunt Us) take a submissive who was in this situation. I mention that because I certainly understand those who wouldn't consider doing it.

Yet, by the definition of the dynamic, I consider him owned. He considers himself owned. No one challenges the fact that he's owned. In the local and extended BDSM community, he's been accepted as being My submissive, My boy, and is known as that. I could take all day explaining all the little details of how it works, what the limits are, and the boundries that it entails, but if you'd prefer the short answer........

He's owned.

Hey Lady Pact,

I think if I were married as are you that such an arrangement as you have would be workable for me. But without a separate emotional realtionship that is fairly stable and satisfying - whether vanilla or not - I do not find having a married or partnered sub as mine satisfying enough - I would have a hard time sharing in such a situation. And as to a slave.., can a person who is in committed marriage or partnership with another that is thier primary be my slave? be owned by me? No - the D/s dynamic would not be that complete for me in such a situation.

_____________________________

Ocilla

Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.
~ Gary Snyder

It takes a kinky village...

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 12

RE: Is it possible to be owned if? - 9/24/2007 6:27:56 PM

trinity46

Posts: 9
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline

First, let me say that it IS possible. Anything is possible if you wish it to be. A complete 24/7 TPE is clearly not going to happen, but that type of relationship is a challenge under the best of conditions, and there is a lot of territory between that and simple scenes.

I am in the opposite situation from yours. My husband and I are both Dominants. We have to seek our submissives outside of our relationship as well. We are also poly, so that part is not an issue for us. Sharing comes naturally. And you two appear to be past that hurdle. Deep meaningful relationships can be enjoyed with more than one person, if everyone is on the same page.

It's not unreasonable that the two of you can find compatible partners, be it a Dom for each of you, or a Dominant couple to Master both of you, although it will not be without its challenges. Then the extent of your d/s relationships will depend upon what works for all parties involved. It is definitely possible to have a long-term d/s relationship with someone not living in the same house with you, and who has other primary (or secondary) partners. We are doing it, and we know several couples who are managing similar situations quite well.. I'm not saying its easy, but if its worth having, its worth working to make it happen.

The key is honesty and communication.
Good luck to you,

Trinity

(in reply to flowspen)

Post #: 13

RE: Is it possible to be owned if? - 9/24/2007 6:48:21 PM

LadyAlzara

Posts: 38
Joined: 3/31/2005
Status: offline

It is very possible. I Own a boy who is married....his wife watches or joins in occassionally. It is tricky. Very much a group descion for U/us all. I have to take Her into account....and he suffers through it all...it works for U/us
Z

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(in reply to flowspen)

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RE: Is it possible to be owned if? - 9/24/2007 6:51:17 PM

flowspen

Posts: 133
Joined: 5/5/2007
From: Memphis
Status: offline

It is funny i had looked at Your profile earlier and wrote an into to You. Do you find it is easier on Your relationship to work with a sub couple vs. finding seperate subs for each?

i think her and i are committed to this 120 percent and we feel we can work with a good Top male or female to provide an evironment that they control in with little exceptions but yes exceptions and i believe exceptions exist for all even if we just call them limits. i guess what bothers me the most is that many wont even consider it like it is the plague or something so no matter how open, honest and admenable we are it falls on death ears and closed hearts. i know my heart can love more than one successfully it has before and it can again. like You said with the exception of 24/7 unless we all became one family. but even outside of 24/7 we re willing to give up alot of control when one is not with there Top in person.

i posted this topic in Poly section, people have read it but no one comments.. thats funny to me. i guess i am the new kid. Anyway i enjoyed Your comment and i will read it a few more times

(in reply to trinity46)

Post #: 15

RE: Is it possible to be owned if? - 9/24/2007 7:03:38 PM

flowspen

Posts: 133
Joined: 5/5/2007
From: Memphis
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAlzara

It is very possible. I Own a boy who is married....his wife watches or joins in occassionally. It is tricky. Very much a group descion for U/us all. I have to take Her into account....and he suffers through it all...it works for U/us
Z

Lady Alzara may i ask are You married or attached to anyone? it is true that the sub suffers as they are the ones in the middle trying to keep the peace. We agreed that she would only complain to me and not to the Mistress that helps because it doesn't interfer with the Mistress also if she or i is unhappy about something we stay clear of that Dom or Mistress so they dont sense something is wrong everything goes through the sub who is submitting to keep that and our relationship strrong. we try to carry the burdon with in us and not with the Top.

She had an on line Mentor once and the agree ment was they would talk for an hour each day but soon he bucked the system and pushed for more. i spoke to him about it one time and we talked. he said his side i said my side. he was respectful when i spoke to my love next i told her there were no more time limits for them why? he had respect for me and her he was willing to stay with the agreement without a fihgt.. Him and i are friends now and we never talk about my love to each other we keep that seperate. i think Dom Men understand better or dont care maybe not sure which.

(in reply to LadyAlzara)

Post #: 16

RE: Is it possible to be owned if? - 9/24/2007 7:37:53 PM

YesMistressIrish

Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
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quote:

ORIGINAL: flowspen

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAlzara

It is very possible. I Own a boy who is married....his wife watches or joins in occassionally. It is tricky. Very much a group descion for U/us all. I have to take Her into account....and he suffers through it all...it works for U/us
Z

Lady Alzara may i ask are You married or attached to anyone? it is true that the sub suffers as they are the ones in the middle trying to keep the peace. We agreed that she would only complain to me and not to the Mistress that helps because it doesn't interfer with the Mistress also if she or i is unhappy about something we stay clear of that Dom or Mistress so they dont sense something is wrong everything goes through the sub who is submitting to keep that and our relationship strrong. we try to carry the burdon with in us and not with the Top.

She had an on line Mentor once and the agree ment was they would talk for an hour each day but soon he bucked the system and pushed for more. i spoke to him about it one time and we talked. he said his side i said my side. he was respectful when i spoke to my love next i told her there were no more time limits for them why? he had respect for me and her he was willing to stay with the agreement without a fihgt.. Him and i are friends now and we never talk about my love to each other we keep that seperate. i think Dom Men understand better or dont care maybe not sure which.

flowspen,

*waves hi. You both have a year so maybe today is just a day of feeling a little discouraged?

You said that male Doms don't seem to mind? Well, I cannot help wondering if that means they want to get in her pants, so they are easier to approach in the beginning? Maybe because for many women their heart can get engaged as a natural course? I know that's a generality, can I help it if it's twue>?

Anway, Fly to LA and we'll sort it out Sugah! (giggles)

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

Have a great night with your lady,
Miss Irish

(in reply to flowspen)

Post #: 17

RE: Is it possible to be owned if? - 9/24/2007 8:43:58 PM

FullfigRIMaam

Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline

quote:

I think most anything is possible. Wether or not I would be involved in the situation or not is a different animal. I don't like to share and I want my word to be the last word, not negotiated with a third participant, not even a passive one

My sentiments exactly. I've nothing more to add. M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 18

RE: Is it possible to be owned if? - 9/24/2007 10:06:04 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
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flows,

As it's been repeated, it depends on the people involved, what they want, what all are comfortable with, etc. -just like with any poly or even just friendly set of relationships. It's always a matter of finding the right match and style.

I'm one who is willing to take on a married sub/slave depending on the situation and our goals in the relationship... and this has much to do with what I want in someone submissive to me in general and how my own marriage is arranged.

It just depends on if there is compatibility there, as with a single sub. Some, like myself, have marriages where if a friend or other something needs me to turn to my spouse and say, "honey, have to go. be back roughly X or I'll call you" and leave at a moment's notice then I (or he) can do so and there is no muss or fuss. If a sub/slave had a similar marriage dynamic then they being married wouldn't be a serious issue for us. So it really just depends...

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I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

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(in reply to FullfigRIMaam)

Post #: 19

RE: Is it possible to be owned if? - 9/25/2007 9:16:03 AM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

Yes, I do believe it is possible - - a dominant Woman could always find a way to use a willing and able male. :)

That's great your partner is open to your interest in and need for a dominant Woman. Good luck!

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m y s p a c e

(in reply to flowspen)

Post #: 20

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