How much will you play, before you play?

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How much will you play, before you play? - 9/24/2007 6:58:35 PM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
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When meeting with a new potential Dom for the first few times, at what point do you generally decide you are ready to play? Yes, I know this is far too individual to define, not only from one sub to another but from one couple to another.
But, what I'm really curious about is, before you are ready to go private and actually play, how far are you usually willing to go?
I have been meeting with a new Dom. We talked alot before meeting. I have 'not quite played' with other new Doms before when meeting them, but it was probably more intense with this one.
Id didn't involve him touching me anywhere my clothes covered ( or going under my clothes or lifting or removing my clothes). It was very limited to my exposed skin. But he HURT me. I have never had that much pain without involving any area I normally think of as erotic.
I was very okay with it, and very happy with the - scene? It just got me thinking about, what it means, to play, or not to play. How much power exchange have you done with someone before begining to 'play'?

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RE: How much will you play, before you play? - 9/24/2007 9:58:15 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske
When meeting with a new potential Dom for the first few times, at what point do you generally decide you are ready to play?

When it feels right- it could be 10 minutes, it could be never.

quote:

.
But, what I'm really curious about is, before you are ready to go private and actually play, how far are you usually willing to go?

My rule is that if I won't play with them in private, I DEFINITELY won't play with them in public.

quote:

I was very okay with it, and very happy with the - scene? It just got me thinking about, what it means, to play, or not to play. How much power exchange have you done with someone before begining to 'play'?

None. You really have to go with your own comfort level and judgement- just like any nilla chick at a club.

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RE: How much will you play, before you play? - 9/24/2007 10:14:19 PM

DefiantFlower

Posts: 204
Joined: 2/15/2007
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Well, if you think about it, judging from your description, you already have played. You submitted to his hurting you, you both enjoyed it. "Play" does not always absolutely have to mean the whole kit and kaboodle...whips and wax and sex. Play can be purely psychological, and many times that is just as electrifying, if not more, than its physical counterpart.

i once met with a Dom for coffee and absolutely nothing sexual happened that night. Not in the traditional sense, at least. But it was intense nonetheless, and i considered it our first "play session"...not because of what we did, but because of the exchange that took place.

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RE: How much will you play, before you play? - 9/24/2007 10:18:26 PM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
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Well what do you define as play? Hurting me while he fucks me can happen on the first date or second. Depends. Or not at all. Depends. Public play? I don't do it. Hurting me while fucking me doesn't have to involve power exchange -- straight SM no chaser. But I am gonna get fucked. I like fucking. I like Cock. And after not having it for years it's one of my preferences. You want to see me again? Fuck me.

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Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

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RE: How much will you play, before you play? - 9/24/2007 10:55:24 PM

laurell3

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Joined: 5/5/2005
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As you stated there's no real set time, I will generally start out with no hard restraints or gag though so I know the person and I are communicating about where we both are and what's happening.

l

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RE: How much will you play, before you play? - 9/26/2007 12:53:22 PM

grlneedstolearn

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With my Dom, we talked a lot online before moving to the phone to discuss more things in depth. When we did first actually meet, it was basically for him to show me the different impliments and toys that he had. That was followed by a light spanking of all impliments, pants down, and we talked afterwards for a while.

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RE: How much will you play, before you play? - 9/26/2007 5:03:56 PM

feastie

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Joined: 6/4/2004
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It all depends on the man and how i feel about the relationship at that point. One guy and I never made it to dinner. Another one had to wait five or six dates.

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RE: How much will you play, before you play? - 9/26/2007 5:55:16 PM

littleone35

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I saw Master 3 times ( after talking on the phone for a month and a half) before we did any major play. Sure we kissed and got a little touchy feely before that major play session but that was all.

Matt's littleone

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