beforecare

beforecare (Full Version)

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crouchingtigress -> beforecare (9/24/2007 10:10:24 PM)
i was reading chellkittys post on aftercare and it made me want to ask what are folks doing for thier before care? how do you set the context for your scenes? how important is it to you set set the context and make it safe? do you like for there to be a definate beginnning and end? or do you just like to collapse in orgasm and fall into bed most of the time? for me, i like there to be a beginning and end, i feel this frames a scene like a painting. as to before care i like to annoint with oils, and set intention, i like to look deeply into my partners eyes for a long time and harmonise with them, i like to put my hand on thier heart and i like feeling thier hand on mine, if its a really rough take down or something really edgy i like the door way that opens with the sub asking the dom to do it.....and as a sub i just love being kissed on the forehead before starting...you?

spanklette -> RE: beforecare (9/24/2007 10:23:27 PM)
My before care consists of centering myself. I like the bubble bath, maybe a glass of wine...last minute shave.[:D] I like to hit some of my favorite tunes and make sure I look the way Daddy wants me to present myself. This little ritual lets me focus on what I look like so I won't be focusing on looks during the scene. Right before the scene, Daddy gets me something to drink and we smoke a cigarrette while I take a look around at the setup...that's when the nerves kick in and the scene really begins.

laurell3 -> RE: beforecare (9/24/2007 10:24:09 PM)
For some reason as a sub, men usually are trying to get me to eat a meal, so there's generally some casual hanging out before hand. I was with a Dom that always showed me every toy he was going to use, which really kind of disapointed me, because I would really rather have it be a mystery. I've never really participated in any rituals.

littlebitxxx -> RE: beforecare (9/24/2007 10:27:17 PM)
For me, it's more just a mutual "Whaddya wanna do tonight?". If I'm really in the mood for a good hard flog or something different, I'll suggest that. Otherwise it's pretty much whatever he feels like doing. Setting a scene, talking about it, analyzing the crap out of it beforehand just ruins it for me. I would much rather spontaneity and winging it just to see what happens. Of course, if he has something special in mind I would like to know any specific preparations I need to make, ie, dress, mindset, etc. Scening to me is playtime and doesn't require any more before care than taking dinky cars out to the sandbox. "Hey, ya wanna play dinkies?"

MaamJay -> RE: beforecare (9/24/2007 10:32:39 PM)
It depends. With a new sub, I tend to set the scene carefully, chat for a little while first till they are more at ease, review essentials such as safe calls, safewords etc, then I usually ask them to get naked, I make sure they hang/fold clothes neatly (starting to exert control) then I usually do a "medical" ... ask them about their health while gently running My fingers and nails over them. That tends to get them into a nice subby frame of mind for other things. With more experienced subs, I might just say, hey let's go and play for a while, and head into the Dungeon and get going. Master doesn't even have to say anything ... O/our play usually starts with a bit of spanking and a few light taps is all it takes to get me in the mood LOL! Maam Jay aka violet[A]

RRafe -> RE: beforecare (9/24/2007 10:34:26 PM)
I tease mercilesssly for days and weeks in advance. I'm already half way done with the scene when she walks in the door.[;)]

Celeste43 -> RE: beforecare (9/25/2007 2:43:52 AM)
Beforecare to me is more focused on preventing subdrop than anything else. So make sure you aren't overtired, underfed, dehydrated, stressed out. And I don't like things told to me before hand, it gets me worrying and when my anxiety rises, I'm not up to play or sex or interaction, just curling up in a ball away from everyone.

onmykneesb4Him -> RE: beforecare (9/25/2007 4:59:12 AM)
We don't set scenes, they occur spontaeously for us. Well, for me anyway. Sometimes i have an idea that He's thinking about flogging me or something because He's dropping hints- like the other day when he was walking around half the day slapping His hand with a spatula. Or the rope or handcuffs are laid somewhere where He knows i'll run across them. But often he just looks at me and tells me to take my clothes off or go downstairs or whatever and that's the beginning. i never know where we're going with it. That's part of the fun for me![:)]

SirCache -> RE: beforecare (9/25/2007 5:46:25 AM)
Most of the ones that tickle my sub's fancy involve rape--so we get some clothing at a thrift shop, shower/get dressed, and go out somewhere--say the mall where we 'accidentally' bump into each other. Everything from that moment on is spontaneous and undecided--names, jobs, etc. The only thing is that we know we're interested in the other, and that she is going to leave with me and... be raped?

chellekitty -> RE: beforecare (9/25/2007 6:57:31 AM)
of course it depends on the scene or play...but there are some essentials... make sure my blood sugar is ok - i am diabetic...if its not, eat something with protein...sugar or carbs do not help...and drink lots of water, but not so much that i have to go pee in the middle lol negotiate - i am not in a relationship at this time, so i always negotiate being beat on...even if the person has done it a hundred times before...it can range from this is what i need today to this is what i am in the mood for to very detailed first time negotiations, going through the toy bag and explaining hard limits and after care needs and health care needs etc...i should also point out that i only play at parties, so that eliminates some other beforecare needs too....i am usually physically prepared.... that leads to mental prep - get my mind in the right place...depending on the type of scene, the type of Top i am playing with, what kind of reactions they need, because i have had to train myself to be responsive, and i can slip out of that responsiveness at any time...now once i get into sub-space i am no longer responsive and at this point its pretty much up to you if you want to keep beating on me but i won't safe word unless you really really hurt me (probably in a way that would harm me) or you say something that yanks me back up in a bad way...but anyway....this is also a time when i do a bit of meditation and physical set up - get water for after scene, take off clothes, get up on cross, etc, all the while still doing meditation now, to the casual observer, my typical pre-scene looks like someone walks up to me, we talk for two minutes he or she walks away (usually to go collect toys), when a st andrews cross becomes available, i walk up to it and wait for them to join me and we start playing....but all this is going on in the background

SlaveSuru -> RE: beforecare (9/25/2007 7:01:50 AM)
Our before care generally includes a shower and a good meal (( not too heavy though)) He sets out the toys, though for the most part I cannot see them. We usually get into the session through light roleplay and maybe music or such. He generally has water and maybe a light snack set out if we didn't have a meal beforehand. Like John Warren says in The Loving Dominant, Hershey kisses are perfect for when the energy levels are getting low. This is very important since my Master is Hypoglycemic. Although sometimes we have more complex before care, like our last session. We recently had a session where he left me at home and went to the store came home with a bag full of things I couldn't see. He then took me to the shower and gave me a good scrubbing, told me to wait in the tub came in and left me a towel and a bag of clothes. He instructed me to dress in them and then when I had dressed He lead me to the living room where he had laid out a tarp. About that time I realized we were going to do wax play. I was right but in the end when I tried to use the clothes to cover my sensitive spots they were cut off of me. That's really good before care in my opinion and it made for a really hot scene! The good scrubbing in the shower made my skin really sensitive and the shirt was tight so the wax went straght to the skn and the shorts were loose so he could move them around. He even opened the zipper and dripped wax slowly till it touched skin, that was mindblowing!

breatheasone -> RE: beforecare (9/25/2007 7:49:48 AM)
I'm thinking that Master and I are still in that "fuck like bunnies" honeymoon stage LOL. We just kinda pause for 10 sec...look at each other in the eyes...kiss madly for a long time...and then make love for hours...and THEN we remember...."Oh yeah...we can do so BDSM stuff too" LOL [:)] So with my Master ...its ALL before care...the whole relationship is before care....He's just about the greatest thing since sliced bread.....

toservez -> RE: beforecare (9/25/2007 8:09:07 AM)
For it is a combination of what Celeste and onmyknees4him wrote. Generally I just need to know ahead of more strenuous mental/physical or both to get physically ready but most of the time I just do not want to know anything. That does not mean if he wants to teas me or make a production out of something that is bad but that is for his benefit and not mine. I truly like the feeling of being there to be used in these ways for his whimsical and given right.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: beforecare (9/25/2007 11:13:12 AM)
It really depends on the scene for me- definitely the physical sense of stability is important, hydrated, fed, rested, medicated, ready to rock and roll. But beyond that, if you're hanging out in your jammies all weekend and want to get into some flogging and fun, that generally just happens and ends on its own- things flow into one another. If you have an elaborate role play scenario or intense tool focused scene, then some more prep and costuming and other mental foreplay bits can be enjoyable, or necessary.

kyraofMists -> RE: beforecare (9/25/2007 5:39:45 PM)
Many times I do not know that we are going to play, so there is very little preparation. For the times that I know we are going to play, I like to sit quietly for awhile. If there is too much going on around me I lose focus and I don't enjoy the play that much. If we are going to a party, I really enjoy a little cuddle time before we leave. I don't like to talk much before playing at a public event. It gives me a chance to center myself and get in the proper mindset for play. He also will not tell us what he has in mind to do. Part of that is he doesn't really know until the moment. He will rarely plan a play. I have learned not to ask, but sometimes my anxiety gets the best of me and I do ask. Mostly the beforecare with him consists of "Strip and stand here!" Knight's Kyra

denika -> RE: beforecare (9/26/2007 10:00:08 AM)
As kyra said, there is little warning ahead of time, even if going out to a public event you can never be sure if we will play or not and if we do what he will do. If I know a head of time I like to listen to music for a few minutes before I scene or just sit and actually be quiet for a minute or so to center myself. I enjoy the pre-chaos of getting ready to go as a group I find that in itself helps me find the right mindset. if Rob is with us as well, lol his idea of pre-play care is to pat me on the head and say "have fun' denika

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