onceburned
Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
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Stan, it sounds as if you have decided to act on long suppressed desires. It takes courage to do this and I congratulate you for your self-honesty as well as your honesty with us.
Your profile says that you live in nothern Ontario. I am not familar with Canada, but looking at my road atlas gives me the impression that you live in a remote area. This will make it very hard to meet like-minded persons.
I am going out on a limb here and will offer advice because I think you truly want help. I will say that I am not gay and have a limited familarity with the gay community. So please keep that in mind. (And folks, please don't be hard on me. I am just trying to help!)
My first advice is to say: "Go slow." Yes, I realize that you probably feeling a great pressure to do anything, a sense that the clock is running. But as long as you are alive, you have time. So take your time. Learn before you leap. Try to clarify what it is you are looking for. You have mentioned forced sex and gangbangs. Is your interest in submission primarily sexual and passive? This will limit both your choices and your chances, but it is good to not disappoint yourself and others with false hopes and promises. Men are probably more likely candidates for sexual only partnerships.
My second advice is take stock of your desires and try to separate out the fantasies from what is truly possible. The harsh advice about gangbangs was meant to help you in this process. If your partners are women they are unlikely to want to participate in servicing you. If your partners are men you should be aware, from what I understand, that there is a great emphasis on youth in the gay community and a 55 year old man is unlikely to be considered to be desirable as a 'cum dump' or what have you.
My third advice is related - play safe. Sexually transmitted diseases are very real for people over 50 and this age group has one of the fastest growing rates of HIV. Don't let your little head do your thinking - use condoms and stay away from party drugs.
My fourth and final advice is that you might want to seek out the leather community. My sense is that many gay men who are into BDSM are part of the leather community. I don't know Ontario so I can't recommend any leather groups to you, but I do know they exist and contacting them is probably your best bet for learning about and exploring the sexual desires that you have repressed until recently.
< Message edited by onceburned -- 7/22/2005 9:20:29 AM >
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What if you want something more - 
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