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BondageTopJere -> Have a problem and need some advice. (9/26/2007 3:16:14 AM)
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I'm having a fairly large problem at the moment and one that I've never encountered before. Its one I know subs tend to have, but it my first experience. To illustrate, lets say you start talking to someone that looks like they may work via e-mail, do the IM and phone conversation bit, finally agree to meet, and then nothing after that. No furthur messages, no furthur talking. I've been on both sides of this equation, both being the one going "What the hell did I say wrong?" and the other half, the one who does the dissappearing. I'll admit I'm not proud of doing that, and I've got much better about saying "No thanks" in a shorter period of time.
Usually though, once said dissappearing is done, by either me or the one I'm talking with, it tends to wrap up quickly. If I got dissappeared on, I usually leave a message or 2 within a few days, maybe another a week later saying "Sorry it didn't work out, best of luck", and thats it, end of story. If I do the dissapearing, I usually gotten the same in the past, on a few occasions I haven't even gotten that, but.. thats just the way it works. I don't hold hard feelings about being poofed on, although I suspect I might be in the minority that one, if forum posts are anything to go by [:D].
My problem is however I know have a sub who is continually sending me messages, pretty much repeating the same thing over and over again, but a little backstory to put into perspective first. On one summer day in July, I ended getting a contact message from a sub, checked her profile, seemed interesting to chat with her. We did so doing emials at first, then IM, then phone, so and so on. It became apparent, and should have been my first glaring warining sign, she had both A) no experience whatsoever, either online or RL and B) a strong sex drive. Quite frankly, after the first few times talking to her, I was acting like a horny teenager, and I commited one of the cardinal sins, I lost control. I should've slammed on the brakes then and there, but I didn't, so then things progressed along enough to meet each other. We did so, I had a fairly good time at first, and so did she. Towards the later part of the day though, it was become very apparent to me that we were simply not compatible for anyting resembling a relationship. We wrapped the night up, I said we talk about going out again, and went home.
My problem is after all this. Given a day or two i would have told her I was no longer interested. But the sheer volume of voice messages, texts, emails, IMs, getting increasingly frantic and more angry over a 48 period had me completely floored. It was.. a bit scary to be honest. The tone I was hearing and the reaction i was getting was all out of context to the time we had spent talking to each other (We went out once to meet, we didn't play, we didn't have sex. In short nothing of substance actually happened besides talking). After the first 2 days, it tapered off, but I still kept receiving messages even a full 4 weeks afterwards when I got what I was sincerely hoping was the final one. I talked to a vanilla friend of mine about this, and she was pretty much said she was psycho, bonkers, nutters, etc. Not having any evidence to the contrary, at that point I was forced to agree, as the effect was completely overblown to the cause. I never sent an emial saying "No thanks" that entire time, I didn't feel like poking the already pissed off bear any furthur. But after 4 weeks, yay, final message, bye see ya.
Whoops spoke to soon. Last week I got another 2 emails from this women, demanding in explantion for my behavior. By this point, my fear factor was down, I sent a message explaining what happened from my viewpoint, I didn't see it working, I screwed up (no mention of me thinking she had done anything wrong, I'm not convinced all is right in her head). Yay finally I'm done, bye cya, good riddance.
Whoops spoke to soon yet again. I got another long diatribe just yesterday, pretty much saying the same thing yet again.
So besides simply blocking her profile( which I've never done, but she just might be the first one), I'm completely at loss as to handle this kind of behavior? Shes got a grudge, pure and simple, and unfortunatelys its at least partially justified in its origin. I'd love to simply ignore her, but I have a very bad feeling there would be long term unforseen consequences in ways I can't imagine.
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