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DMFParadox -> RE: Love: A Want or Need? (9/28/2007 1:21:54 AM)
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Define love. Try really hard, give examples and subtopics; and still, you won't completely have put your finger on it.
This is why Master/servant relationships exist; because, for those two people, they need to feel more, to prove more, than that they feel the same kind of hollywood 'love' that most people think of when they use the word. Security, safety, love, freedom within limitations and structure; people have proven that it works, that it satisfies a need that isn't fulfilled in the standard roles we play at.
The perspective of evolutionary biology would state that love exists because it makes for more successful children; that two, or more, people in love provide a better home. There's more to it, though: a man that can foster love has done more than simply provide, he has proven that he is the type of man that can be loved. And that his children are also likely to have that talent. For women, appearance is such a strong factor that being 'loveable' isn't as important, for the majority, but I would say that the kind of man that can be loved, is naturally more inclined to find a woman that can be loved--he will be more successful with that strategy in filtering who he should spend time with, so that he gets to the goal line faster and has more to show for it when he's done.
And for men that can attract easily, beauty is common; being 'loveable' sets those women apart. I would say that, given 9-10 more generations of our current social order, the number of woman who are skilled in seeking out men and providing value to them will increase dramatically, based on men's physical appearance and other less social factors--the laws of scarcity will reverse. Currently, it's men that bear this part of the attraction game; but because of shared responsibilities these days, it becomes more and more easy for women to skip past the 'wait for the right guy to come along' and just go looking herself; the women that do this will be more successful, but it will eventually change the overall dynamic. Too bad; I like it this way.
Then there's the fact that a skill that goes unused gets lost. And love is a skill; managing *any* emotion, within and without, is a skill. So we 'need' love in order to be loveable; to be fit and attractive. A person who is socially stunted is at as much of a disadvantage as someone who's physically ill; more disadvantaged, even, depending on the circumstance.
It's a bit of a paradox.
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