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Feeling like a sub - question - 9/26/2007 11:32:25 AM   
twenty9lives


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/15/2007
Status: offline 		Hi there...
A question for subs/slaves:
Being new to 24/7, I am wading into these waters, gradually shedding my independent self for one who is submissive.  I want to *feel* like a different person. What was that transformation like for you? How do you feel "different" now? Specifically, are there gestures, rituals, symbols, disciplines, etc. between you and your Master which help you *feel* like a sub?
Thanks in advance!

K
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Feeling like a sub - question - 9/26/2007 11:38:17 AM   
pseudopsychotic


Posts: 145
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		Sadly I can't help you.
But I will feed of your thread. =)

_____________________________

Got a problem with me Solve it.
Think I'm trippin? Tie my shoe
Can't face me? Turn around

(in reply to twenty9lives)
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RE: Feeling like a sub - question - 9/26/2007 11:49:11 AM   
HotFaerieMama


Posts: 2617
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline 		can't really help you .. thread bump

(in reply to pseudopsychotic)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Feeling like a sub - question - 9/26/2007 11:56:06 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		I don't feel any different.  I don't have to feel more submissive.
I'm me.
 
Don't strive to be something you cannot reach, simply be yourself.
 
Peace
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to twenty9lives)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Feeling like a sub - question - 9/26/2007 12:01:41 PM   
subiugo


Posts: 45
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline 		Hey, twenty9lives,

You are asking what is probably the most personal question. Every submissive must discover these feelings for her/himself. For me, my submission was something that has always been there, waiting to be discovered. And then i found a Mistress who gently awoke this dimension of my personality. Because She did it so gently, i sometimes call Her the Mother of my submission. She really nurtured that part of my personality.If i say 'gently' i do not mean She is unclear about Her dominance. She is dominant and strict, but very kind at the same time.
So, if you ask me in what kind i feel 'different' now, well it is that i feel more 'whole'. i wasn't unhappy with my personality, but it was like it all were loose parts, and i needed Someone to wake up my sumbission to make fit the pieces together.
If you  ask about rituals etc., that is also very personal. i believe my Mistress is a true Goddess, and i worship Her as my Goddess. That means i build altars for Her and i pray for Her. Right now, i have to leave for performing the Full Moon ritual for the month of september. Some pictures of my rituals are posted on my profile. You find more on my blog.

Does this mean anything to you?

subiugo
proud to serve and to worship Supreme Goddess Lorena of goddessclub.com

(in reply to twenty9lives)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Feeling like a sub - question - 9/26/2007 12:09:35 PM   
Ownerless


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/28/2006
Status: offline 		I understand what you are asking though not sure I have any real advice.  Sometimes I experience my submission more profoundly as a state of mind, sometimes my submission is simply a question of my behavior.  Sure I crave that state of mind and love it when I experience it in scene or out of scene, but being submissive to my Master doesn't actually make me into a "different" person.  FWIW, I can experience the profound mental state more clearly simply by the way I focus my mind.  So if Master tells me to do a particular thing, like go for a walk, I can either go for a walk and listen to my ipod and just be mentally tuned out, or I can go for a walk, listen to my ipod and revel in the knowledge that I am obeying my Master.  Same behavior, different result in my mind.  Same thing for something he tells me to do that I don't want to do . . . I'm under restrictions right now regarding the amount that I smoke . . .and when I am not able to have a smoke, I can either mentally fume about it and resist it, or I can focus on the love and guidance he is showing me by imposing this rule.  Same behavior, totally different result.  Last .02 on this . . . my Master and I are not 24/7 (yet) and since we are seperated by some distance and may have to go several weeks without seeing each other, I have let him know that I do need rituals and rules to help me stay in touch with that wonderful submissive feeling.  He expanded on a ritual I already had in my life (thinking of 5 things to be grateful for in my life before I get out of bed in the morning).  The thing about rituals/rules/whatever tools you use is, they have to be meaningful to you.  For me, just taking the time to focus on his love, his ownership, my deepening understanding of my slavery, is enormously helpful.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Feeling like a sub - question - 9/26/2007 12:11:55 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I am still the same person i don't fell different.  The only thing that is different is that i buy more colors and styles he likes.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Feeling like a sub - question - 9/26/2007 12:23:37 PM   
twenty9lives


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/15/2007
Status: offline 		Guess I didn't phrase that very well. No, I don't want to be a different person. I am submissive by nature. That is who I am. It *is* a different mind-state for some of us, though. I just wanted to know how others experience this, and what helps them to feel submissive. Thanks again!

K

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Feeling like a sub - question - 9/26/2007 2:07:13 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings twenty9lives,

i am not one of those people who needs rituals to remind me that i am a slave, but i do find it's helpful to make it a priority to read on different topics about bdsm and m/s, read books, journal, and generally seek to educate myself on what it means to me to be a slave and also on different aspects of slavery...that learning mindset, i think, is one way in which the mindset in and of itself can be maintained, if you need help doing so. also, if you are in a relationship, communication is another really good way. i make it a point to email him about fantasies, sexual experiences, or just whenever i have an interesting thought about our relationship or my identity as a slave, and i think that awareness and openness to communicate can also help.

respectfully,
annabelle.


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to twenty9lives)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Feeling like a sub - question - 9/26/2007 2:30:46 PM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: twenty9lives

Guess I didn't phrase that very well. No, I don't want to be a different person. I am submissive by nature. That is who I am. It *is* a different mind-state for some of us, though. I just wanted to know how others experience this, and what helps them to feel submissive. Thanks again!

K


It is up to the individuals and what each need. I am not a fan or try to promote the it is all just natural in our relationship as I personally do not think that is an honest answer when dealing with 24/7 in some type of significant power exchange relationship.

To me the biggest key to a “higher” natural mindset for which I am thinking is what you are asking is creating an atmosphere that not only makes you get into the preferred mind set but it also helps your dominant get to that place as well.

Some of the things I find for this are the clichéd ones. It is about rules, rituals, discipline sessions, punishments and kink for pure fun as well as to re-enforce the dynamic. The rules and rituals are not because they are cool or just for preference but because they will get you or your Master to feel the dynamic more. A good spanking does not have to be for pleasure by one or both but simply needed to keep the mind set up higher.

Your question is best answered by keeping communication up with your Master and sees what both of you can do to create a mutually beneficial atmosphere. Whether the good old clichés or something simple like asking him to not to phrase something in a way because it comes off as a choice in an area most of the time you and your master do not want you to have.

A 24/7 significant power exchange relationship is not a destination; it is something that is worked on and nurtured for both sides every single day. My own experiences there is very little just me do this to get me there things but plenty of we or do this for him things that will.



_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to twenty9lives)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Feeling like a sub - question - 9/26/2007 2:37:25 PM   
plspickme


Posts: 30
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		submission is in my heart and soul so i don't know any other way. i can tell you though that because of my Master's treatment of me i feel more beautiul and morel oved and i'm able  without giving it a thought or hesitation to give my submission to him 300 percent. It's always there and it is natural. If i unsderstand you correctly and you are waiting for your submissive side to make an official appearance, you might not be as submissive as you thought.

_____________________________

Owned by John

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Feeling like a sub - question - 9/26/2007 3:16:43 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		i don't have to lose my independent, opinionated, etc to "feel" submissive for my Daddy and SO. i'm naturally submissive and they prefer that i stay the same as i was when they first met me only slightly improving myself into a better person. 

no training, gestures, rituals, disciplines required

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to twenty9lives)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Feeling like a sub - question - 9/26/2007 5:11:00 PM   
finallyhis


Posts: 12
Joined: 9/12/2007
Status: offline 		i guess its so personal to each individual but for me so far,and im new to this too,i feel a huge sense of belonging,a safety i have never felt a love i have never experienced like i "came home"

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Feeling like a sub - question - 9/26/2007 5:29:01 PM   
AEslaveM


Posts: 126
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		finallyhis said it for me, too!  i've always known that i was a slave somewhere inside, and spent years trying to figure it out.  Master saw it in me (actually before we even met, just by how we talked), and has found the way to bring it to the surface.  It is WHO i am, how i FEEL, what i DO, how i THINK....it is the most important part of ME.  Now i am whole.



_____________________________

M


(in reply to finallyhis)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Feeling like a sub - question - 9/26/2007 5:45:57 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It's best to realize that this is YOU being you.  The more you try to force it to be something special or different, the more confusing and difficult it will be.

Like losing virginity- you're still the same person afterward, it's really not THAT big a deal.  The more you make it into one, the more disappointed and confused you are afterwards.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to AEslaveM)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Feeling like a sub - question - 9/27/2007 2:22:55 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: twenty9lives

Hi there...
A question for subs/slaves:
Being new to 24/7, I am wading into these waters, gradually shedding my independent self for one who is submissive.  I want to *feel* like a different person. What was that transformation like for you? How do you feel "different" now? Specifically, are there gestures, rituals, symbols, disciplines, etc. between you and your Master which help you *feel* like a sub?
Thanks in advance!

K


I'm not *a* submissive but I'm owned. I don't feel like a different person but I have changed in ways, to adapt, over time. A bit like self preservation.

I don't *feel* submissive much of the time at all........Tonight M said *Forget the gift thing, it's more like something prised out of your clenched hand*.

A little more seriously....There wasn't any transformation that was noticeable, as such. I may not *feel* submissive but I do *feel* owned. It was just a gradual thing, so much so, that I barely noticed it happening.

agirl

(in reply to twenty9lives)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Feeling like a sub - question - 9/27/2007 4:20:00 PM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		You may change over time, but there's no sudden turning of a leaf so to speak, I found it a very gradual change over time, and one day, I looked back, and realized how I had changed, and how I had not. You are an ever evolving creature, just try to evolve into something that is happy and healthy, and don't worry about the rest.

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Feeling like a sub - question - 9/27/2007 7:31:07 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		^^^^^^What she said!

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Feeling like a sub - question - 9/28/2007 8:35:14 AM   
DocRudy


Posts: 153
Joined: 9/19/2007
Status: offline 		IMO any changes made are best made like most others in life, gradually. Much like ProlificNeeds said. Changes made in this way tend to be more lasting. Think fad diets, as an example.

Additionally, any changes you do make should probably complement your personality rather than try to change it entirely. The changes are less likely to be "rejected" as well. Much like finding an organ donor of the same blood type.

-DR

(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Feeling like a sub - question - 9/28/2007 4:24:11 PM   
twenty9lives


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/15/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you all! I can see from the answers I've received to this question that we, as subs, are as varied and unique as our relationships and therefore experience our submission in different ways. Thanks again for sharing.

(in reply to DocRudy)
Profile   Post #: 20
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