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How do I? - 9/27/2007 5:28:44 PM

regularguyltr

Posts: 2
Joined: 8/12/2007
Status: offline

My Mistress instructed me to ask submissives on collarme for suggestions on how I can control myself better. We love each other very much and will be in a 24/7 relationship very soon. She lives a little over an hour away so we only get to see each other two times a week. To make a long story short I masturbated without her permission on Tuesday night and didn't tell her about it until tonight. I feel just about as guilty as a person can feel. She is so wonderful and loving and I let her down.

Thank you for your help.

Puppy

Post #: 1

RE: How do I? - 9/27/2007 5:32:43 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Don't touch your cock.

Decide if you HONESTLY want a relationship which requires abstinence, or just like the IDEA of it.

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(in reply to regularguyltr)

Post #: 2

RE: How do I? - 9/27/2007 5:33:45 PM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

Okay. Although I'm not a submissive, I do have a few suggestions for you.

1. Suck it up and withhold from temptation - builds strong character.
2. When the urge strikes, call your Domme, and ask her consent - or ask her to give you a task to take your mind off things.
3. Purchase a device which prevents ease of access. Exobelt, CB2000/3000/6000, frenum and scrotal piercings locked together.

If you really wish to obey your Domme, you will find a method that works for both of you.

Good luck.

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(in reply to regularguyltr)

Post #: 3

RE: How do I? - 9/27/2007 7:28:48 PM

Littlepita

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline

Whenever you get the urge to touch your cock, you need to do sit-ups until the urge leaves. This way you will have obeyed your Mistress, and knowing the way men are, you will have a six-pack abs in no time.

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(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)

Post #: 4

RE: How do I? - 9/27/2007 8:48:09 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Littlepita

Whenever you get the urge to touch your cock, you need to do sit-ups until the urge leaves. This way you will have obeyed your Mistress, and knowing the way men are, you will have a six-pack abs in no time.

haha and then you can write a book about how to deal with sexual frustration while improving your physique and make millions!!!
l

(in reply to Littlepita)

Post #: 5

RE: How do I? - 9/28/2007 4:20:02 AM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
Status: offline

Ice bag down the pants, work on income taxes, watch "Who's Afraid of Virgina Woolf" (guaranteed to curb your sex drive for days), snap your cock with your fingernail like nurses do with unconscious patients, or just suck it up and say "I'm doing without because my Mistress said so" and smile with the remembrance of your submission. When she looks at you and says "Good boy" you will feel it's all worth it....honest.

_____________________________

There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

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Post #: 6

RE: How do I? - 9/28/2007 7:19:20 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
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i suggest your Mistress enroll in the University of "How To Be A Dominant".

If She can't control you, who here can?

chia* (the pet)

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Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to regularguyltr)

Post #: 7

RE: How do I? - 9/28/2007 7:41:26 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I agre with little pita exercise works wonders when you are so aroused you don't think you can't take it another second. it get the blood flowing someplace out and it makes you feel good when the endorphing get flowing. Good luck.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to chiaThePet)

Post #: 8

RE: How do I? - 9/28/2007 9:01:30 AM

MistressDollysub

Posts: 11
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

I will say ice does the j o b .

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Post #: 9

RE: How do I? - 9/28/2007 10:56:07 AM

rubberallover

Posts: 29
Joined: 10/12/2005
Status: offline

I agree with many of the above statements. Having a key holder and being locked in chastity may be the most effective for right now.

Check out: www.tpe.com/~altarboy for more information..

(in reply to MistressDollysub)

Post #: 10

RE: How do I? - 9/28/2007 2:03:31 PM

Constanza

Posts: 57
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz
3. Purchase a device which prevents ease of access. Exobelt, CB2000/3000/6000, frenum and scrotal piercings locked together.

The best option i think.

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(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)

Post #: 11

RE: How do I? - 9/29/2007 12:54:31 AM

HollyBlue

Posts: 144
Joined: 9/13/2007
Status: offline

Lots of good suggestions here, if the intent is really for you to follow her instructions.

I only have one question -- is she consistently requiring you to only come the two days a week that you are with her? As a man, and as a sexual being, for any length of time, are those enough orgasms for you to be sexually healthy?

If this is a temporary test or assignment, then I'd say yes, definitely, be chaste as ordered.

But if you lost control because your twice-a-week meetings aren't enough to satisfy your inherent sexual needs, you may want to find a way to ask or earn permission to come by yourself a few times a week.

Now that my Master and I live together, I'm not permitted to touch myself alone or without his permission, but before, when we lived in two different countries, I was permitted to masturbate on a regular basis because without it, I wouldn't be physically or emotionally healthy.

I'd say just make sure your Mistress understands your needs...you still shouldn't have disobeyed her, but consistently denying your needs is just setting you up for disobedience.

If you really are satisfied sexually by saving everything for your meetings with her, then by all means, proceed as ordered. But I just had to throw in my three cents worth about whether or not her expectations are in your best interest.

<edited for clarification>

< Message edited by HollyBlue -- 9/29/2007 12:58:29 AM >

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(in reply to regularguyltr)

Post #: 12

RE: How do I? - 9/29/2007 2:20:02 AM

beeble

Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

Constanza wrote:
quote:

Domin8tingUrDrmz wrote:
3. Purchase a device which prevents ease of access.

The best option i think.

Quite the worst, I would have said. To me, the bigger problem isn't that he masturbated without permission but that he didn't admit this to his Mistress for several days. Masturbating without permission means forgetting your obligations to your Mistress for a few minutes -- even the best submissive will do that from time to time. (I'm not saying it should be forgotten about; just that it's gonna happen.) Not admitting it involves forgetting your obligations for several days.

I think you both need to consider what you want from your relationship and communicate with each other. If chastity is something you both want, then a chastity device is a natural step to take. If it isn't something you both want, you need to come to some sort of compromise.

beeble

(in reply to Constanza)

Post #: 13

RE: How do I? - 9/30/2007 11:58:34 AM

TheInstrument

Posts: 69
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

3. Purchase a device which prevents ease of access. Exobelt, CB2000/3000/6000, frenum and scrotal piercings locked together.

That's quite easily one of the most sadistic things I've ever heard,
for even when I'm content enough to not act on my impulsive
sexual urges it doesn't mean I don't get erections. I'd most
definitely get hurt that way....but damn is that clever. :)

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)

Post #: 14

RE: How do I? - 9/30/2007 2:00:09 PM

ImpGrrl

Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

i suggest your Mistress enroll in the University of "How To Be A Dominant".

If She can't control you, who here can?

I disagree - I think it should be, "If *you* can't control you, who here (anywhere??) can?"

Seriously. If you can't control your "urges" to masturbate, what business do you have giving that control to another?

(in reply to chiaThePet)

Post #: 15

RE: How do I? - 9/30/2007 2:04:48 PM

ImpGrrl

Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: beeble

Quite the worst, I would have said. To me, the bigger problem isn't that he masturbated without permission but that he didn't admit this to his Mistress for several days. Masturbating without permission means forgetting your obligations to your Mistress for a few minutes -- even the best submissive will do that from time to time. (I'm not saying it should be forgotten about; just that it's gonna happen.) Not admitting it involves forgetting your obligations for several days.

I think you both need to consider what you want from your relationship and communicate with each other. If chastity is something you both want, then a chastity device is a natural step to take. If it isn't something you both want, you need to come to some sort of compromise.

While I agree with the overall idea of this post, I disagree that:

quote:

Masturbating without permission means forgetting your obligations to your Mistress for a few minutes -- even the best submissive will do that from time to time.

"Forgetting your obligations" is, perhaps, forgetting milk at the grocery store, or forgetting to scoop the litter while cleaning the house. Masturbating without permission requires a decision to do so. No matter how much the s-type feels they "deserve" it, or however else they rationalize it, that's intentional disobedience. It's a clear sign that the s-type is putting their momentary sexual desires above the good of the relationship dynamic.

And, in my book, that's a recipe for relationship disaster.

(in reply to beeble)

Post #: 16

RE: How do I? - 9/30/2007 2:07:49 PM

TakenPet

Posts: 147
Joined: 1/12/2007
Status: offline

Well put LA, just dont' do it. If you are expected to not do something you s houldn't do it and if you really feel you can't .. then talk to her about it. If she really is loving and caring she will understand, but perhaps its not that you did it, but its the fact that you didnt' tell her. Talk to her about why it happened and ask for her advice on how to better handle it in the future. It worked for me, Master gave me some very good advice. For the time being, occupy yourself with something else, do not touch your cock. Good luck in the future!
tp

(in reply to ImpGrrl)

Post #: 17

RE: How do I? - 9/30/2007 2:19:55 PM

yesboy8

Posts: 2
Joined: 11/28/2006
Status: offline

As for exercise, that just makes it harder to control myself...it will temporarily take my mind off, but as soon as im done, its much more difficult to restrain. One time i had a week long chastity assignment and it gave me blue balls, it was terrible lol... but it led me to do research on the subject, and most men need to regularly "clean the pipes" or they can develop infections and such.

(in reply to TakenPet)

Post #: 18

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