RE: Home for wayward subs

RE: Home for wayward subs (Full Version)

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RRafe -> RE: Home for wayward subs (10/2/2007 7:17:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: youngsubgeoff It would be hard to tell who was real and who was just looking to escape responsibilities. Bingo. Which is the main reason I am so leery of "slaves". Fool me once, shame on you................[;)]

catize -> RE: Home for wayward subs (10/2/2007 8:01:39 PM)
quote: and all staying in the house would be expected to contribute to the house in some way, such as yard work, house keeping, etc. If they can do yard work, they could get a job mowing lawns. If they can wash dishes they could work at a restaurant. If they are so 'helpless' I don't see that much will be contributed to keep the house going.

RRafe -> RE: Home for wayward subs (10/2/2007 8:16:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: catize quote: and all staying in the house would be expected to contribute to the house in some way, such as yard work, house keeping, etc. If they can do yard work, they could get a job mowing lawns. If they can wash dishes they could work at a restaurant. If they are so 'helpless' I don't see that much will be contributed to keep the house going. The 'stray" I took in was too helpless to do much more than fuck, and look for the next enabler on my computer. In gor chat rooms,no less.

Alyoop -> RE: Home for wayward subs (10/2/2007 8:46:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wewantaslave If you feel the need for a safe house for a couple of months or more, then you need to start making better decissions and take responsibilty for yourself. Dont sit around everyday waiting for someone to save you. You need to save yourself. If a slave is so imcompetent that they are unable to take care of themselves, how can anyone want her/him. There is a huge difference between a slave and someone looking for free rides the rest of their lifes. Anyone can clean a house and enjoy bondage. Do you feel the need to be rewarded for cleaning a house? If so, you are not a slave. Are you waiting for someone to accept you for the way you are? Or do you need training? Reading your profile and some of your postings you seem confused at what you are. Its like you are trying to be dominate everywhere and pretend to be slave material. A switch maybe? You would have better luck being who you are instead of making yourself something you want. Just my thoughts. Your posts are like double standards. Minipulating the facts to get the results you want doesnt mean you have the right answers. Does that make since? Hi, I am not seeing where a double standard came in from my origional post. I think the idea of a safe house would be great for the lifestyle. I have known many slaves who need a quick escape, or are abandoned by their owners. I dont think there should be a free ride ever. If the slave is incapable of working outside of the home then taking care of it is always a good option, but of course that would be for the owners of the home to decide. And ps. Not every situation of a slave being homeless is because the girl is incapable of taking care of herself. Sometimes shit just happens. Its how you rebound from it all that makes you who you are. In my case, I am trying to p[ick myself up with grace and dignity, and being in a nice safe enviroment where I am wanted again is just that. Ally

Stephann -> RE: Home for wayward subs (10/2/2007 9:57:32 PM)
Usually, when someone's talking about 'safehouses' for submissives, they're actually talking about a women's shelter; often with the same predatorial instincts that infest the men such women tend to gravitate towards. The trouble, is that these men believe themselves to be doing a service, see themselves as doing something wonderful for their community, etc. It's like the priest who honestly believes that by showing an acolyte his cock, he's showing him God. For the OP; what about male submissives? What about dominant men who fall prey to their submissives/slaves (leaving her, say, in charge of the house for a few weeks, only to find she's sold it and run off with the money as an extreme, absurd, but with quite plausible similar stories.) Do you take them in too? Because the bent is ninety nine percent towards helping 'helpless' females, why wrap it up in the concept of a submissive safehouse? I do agree, though, it's sad when people get taken advantage of in any situation. Stephan

Mercurialdame -> RE: Home for wayward subs (10/2/2007 11:25:16 PM)
a few thoughts. Near where i live, is a guest house. It is run by a slave, left to her in the will of her deceased owner, where she can earn money, serving others, for the rest of her natural. Beautiful. Shame its rare. Group therapy is used for many issues, except depression. Why? because its a self fulfilling prophecy. Why would anyone wish to recover surrounded by others in misery? Safe houses exist, they are called womens/mens shelters. Those stupid enough to put themselves in this position of having 'nothing to their name' NEED the lesson being taught id say. my assets, my bank book, get your own! a very hard limit for me. and 'if she is unable to work, then she can help out around the house" that's just fucking la la land! Get real. mercurialdame

Alyoop -> RE: Home for wayward subs (10/3/2007 6:40:43 AM)
Greetings, Unfortunatly you run into not qualifying for shelters. There are ones for battered women, but what if you were never abused? What if you just fell onto a pickle? And then there are ones for drinkers, youth, even down to specifically for religions. Sometimes a slave dosent need someone to take her in and care for her, she just needs someone to help her for a small bit until she can get back on her feet. Just my opinion though :) Ally

catize -> RE: Home for wayward subs (10/3/2007 6:44:58 AM)
quote: The 'stray" I took in was too helpless to do much more than fuck, and look for the next enabler on my computer. In gor chat rooms,no less. Next time keep in mind this bit of advice that a friend gave me when I was contemplating aid to a stray: "In god we trust, everyone else pays rent." ~smiles~

RRafe -> RE: Home for wayward subs (10/3/2007 7:14:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: catize quote: The 'stray" I took in was too helpless to do much more than fuck, and look for the next enabler on my computer. In gor chat rooms,no less. Next time keep in mind this bit of advice that a friend gave me when I was contemplating aid to a stray: "In god we trust, everyone else pays rent." ~smiles~ That was the deal. I gave her every chance to find and keep a job-then she had to leave. No one rides for free in my world.

wewantaslave -> RE: Home for wayward subs (10/3/2007 12:39:14 PM)
Well, if you cant qualify to be in a homeless shelter than you are more than capable to do things on your own. thats what friends and family are for. Even if its not your favorite choice you have one. If someone wants to set around and feel sorry for themselves or pamper the crap out of their situation, than its no one elses obligation to help milk the situation. quote: ORIGINAL: Alyoop Greetings, Unfortunatly you run into not qualifying for shelters. There are ones for battered women, but what if you were never abused? What if you just fell onto a pickle? And then there are ones for drinkers, youth, even down to specifically for religions. Sometimes a slave dosent need someone to take her in and care for her, she just needs someone to help her for a small bit until she can get back on her feet. Just my opinion though :) Ally

camille65 -> RE: Home for wayward subs (10/3/2007 12:48:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Imajican I've been told many times over the years that I should open a home for wayward subs. This is in large part because my 'take' on D/s consists of helping to empower people rather than using it as a platform to feed my ego. I like mentoring and supporting people who want to change their lives. I could see doing this as long as people really did want to change and not just find somebody to run their lives while they coast along. One of the people I'm involved with said it should be done like welfare; you get so much time to get the boost and support you need, but you can't stay there forever. There would definitely have to be rules or guidelines so that people understood the purpose for such an organization. I think that some people just don't have the life skills they need and then fall into the pattern of somebody else guide them that they don't know how to do things on their own. This isn't subjective to BDSM at all, but rather some people just can't seem to get things together. I happen to be someone who can look at a situation and with pure intentions tell them how to change the path they're on, or at least get them to look at where they're headed and try to get them not to repeat the same behaviour that got them there. I think it's a good idea in theory, but the execution of such a plan would have to be done with a lot of foresight, and with people who could embrace a common goal for the long-term. I thought this was the best response on this thread. A lot of answers were sarcastic and belittling and I don't think they needed to be. Idealism is important, it can change the world. It leads to getting experience in life, even if the idea never comes to fruition. If more people did something to make the world a bit better it would be wonderful. I didn't think the OP was saying that submissives/slaves are complete losers and unable to help themselves. I saw a kind impulse to help people in the same kinda lifestyle the OP lives in. Misguided? Maybe. But I see someone that cares. Edited because I left 'L' out of world..

Alyoop -> RE: Home for wayward subs (10/3/2007 1:38:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wewantaslave Well, if you cant qualify to be in a homeless shelter than you are more than capable to do things on your own. thats what friends and family are for. Even if its not your favorite choice you have one. If someone wants to set around and feel sorry for themselves or pamper the crap out of their situation, than its no one elses obligation to help milk the situation. quote: ORIGINAL: Alyoop Greetings, Unfortunatly you run into not qualifying for shelters. There are ones for battered women, but what if you were never abused? What if you just fell onto a pickle? And then there are ones for drinkers, youth, even down to specifically for religions. Sometimes a slave dosent need someone to take her in and care for her, she just needs someone to help her for a small bit until she can get back on her feet. Just my opinion though :) Ally I do agree that it is no ones obligation, but just because someone dosent nessissarily qualify for the shelter dosent mean their situation dosent fit into the need of one anyless. Plus most shelters I have seen require you to have a job, or be going to school and learn the skills to become a sucessful member of society. The one I was in required it this way for the youth there. You couldnt sit arround and do nothing or you were not welcome there. Inless there is some mental or physcial disorder to stop someone from working, anyone is capable of it. There is a job out there for everyone. Some times shit just happens to people, and its nice to think there are others in the lifestyle like the OP that want to help thoes in a tight spot get back on their feet. Camille- Loved your post as usual. " didn't think the OP was saying that submissives/slaves are complete losers and unable to help themselves. I saw a kind impulse to help people in the same kinda lifestyle the OP lives in. Misguided? Maybe. But I see someone that cares. " exactly how I feel. Ally

youngsubgeoff -> RE: Home for wayward subs (10/3/2007 3:35:46 PM)
If I am misguided, then so be it. Id rather be misguided than jaded.

camille65 -> RE: Home for wayward subs (10/3/2007 3:38:16 PM)
Thanks Alyoop[:)] and geoff ohboy do I ever agree with you.

unbroken33 -> RE: Home for wayward subs (10/3/2007 9:04:40 PM)
When a sub gives themselves up to a Dominant there is a responsibility on the part of the Dominant to ensure that doesn't happen if it ends. Said assuming the kind of situations you're talking about the sub gives up everything and gives all property to the Dominant party. It's sad to hear this sort of thing happens. But there is a definite line between an abuser and a Dominant. This rings more of the trademark of an abuser.

litleone8620 -> RE: Home for wayward subs (10/3/2007 9:15:44 PM)
quote: If I am misguided, then so be it. Id rather be misguided than jaded. I don't call it being jaded. I call it being cautious. And I'd rather be cautious and not end up in a situation where I would need a 'safehouse' than be misguided and end up in a situation where I do.

corsetgirl -> RE: Home for wayward subs (10/3/2007 9:16:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied I would never completely surrender, and I"m okay with that. I have a primary responsbility to retain the things I've worked hard for, along with property that will remain in the family. I've been divorced and had to start over. I won't do that again. Bravo! I agree with you! Being divorced is not easy and I too, had to start over again.

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