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RE: A note to fellow Dominants (mostly the males) - 9/28/2007 1:12:26 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		Ah a dancing bandita!

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~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: A note to fellow Dominants (mostly the males) - 9/28/2007 1:14:19 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		What would be way cool is if we could get them dancing NOT in sync.

(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: A note to fellow Dominants (mostly the males) - 9/28/2007 1:37:34 PM   
Pyrrsefanie


Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline 		Maybe they feel threatened because you're a female in a dominant role, since traditional roles place the male at the head of the table.

Which is stupid, because the times, they have a-changed, but there are a lot of guys out there who are still thinking the old way... that this is the ONLY way it should be and everything else is wrong.  When they find a dominant woman who is in control of herself they get nervous because they think "Oh shit, my little fantasy world of male supremacy has just been shattered into a billion pieces, I MUST LASH OUT" and you end up with stupid letters from stupid people in your inbox.

Kind of the same theory behind school bullies -- they're insecure, so when somebody "threatens" their status, they lash out to try to make themselves seem stronger and scarier.

Just my point of view on the whole matter, though, I know there are a billion other reasons why people do that.

(in reply to sachiaiko)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: A note to fellow Dominants (mostly the males) - 9/28/2007 1:45:18 PM   
pseudopsychotic


Posts: 145
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

Whatever happened to reading for readings sake?
I feel the OP's post was well thought out,  legitimate, and drove home a really good point.
I don't see her as "bitching." so much as stating her opinion.
But I guess that's no longer allowed? Well at least not without being called  a baby or any other such high school blotter.
Haha, what gets me, is that..She wasn't even putting anyone down or pointing fingers. She was talking about actions that upset her and worry her.
You people (and yes, this is pointing fingers) blow my flipping mind with this.
But anyways. that‘s just my opinion. Free country and all.

Sachiaiko, I like the way you think. In dealing with people, I always looked to not only how they treat me, but how they treat other people. IE: If someone was "talking shit." about a mutual friend behind their back to me, then, I wouldn't want to hang with that person because well, who says they're aren't talking about me when I'm not around?
I think this is along the same line.
I've seen the way my Sir acts around the general pubic, other subs, and other Doms..And he has and shows respect for them.   I think that's what attracts me most to him. Not only his caring treatment of me, but others as well.
I never thought it would be any other way. I mean, I know people are out right jerks, but I though most Dom/mes treated eachother with some amount of respect.

Being new to this whole thing is odd to say the least, and I actually appreciate threads like this.


_____________________________

Got a problem with me Solve it.
Think I'm trippin? Tie my shoe
Can't face me? Turn around

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: A note to fellow Dominants (mostly the males) - 9/28/2007 1:55:58 PM   
LadyTesa


Posts: 1
Joined: 7/8/2007
Status: offline 		As a fellow Domme I have to say that I have been approached several times by Dom's.  Take this advice as you will.
It would be quite the conquest for a Dom to take you to your knees.  The ultimate power trip.  It should not be a surprise that they are around.  This is a site to bring them out  and allow them to contact you. If you do not wish to be contacted by them, then use the tools given to you by the site: mail controls, delete button and the block feature. 
As a Domme you are correct to be treated with certain mannerisms.   Remember where you are and what it is you are looking for.  If it doesn't fit your need or desires then respond back with respect, dignity and care that they may or may not deserve.  Do not allow yourself to stoop to their level for any reason.  Do not try to change their opinion of you.  It is a waste of time.  Men and women of this caliber are so low on the totem pole of this site, that no one takes them seriously.  Have a glass of wine, relax and remember who is in control!
Good luck in your future contacts!
Lady Tesa





(in reply to sachiaiko)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: A note to fellow Dominants (mostly the males) - 9/28/2007 2:56:18 PM   
Damocles809


Posts: 532
Joined: 7/12/2006
Status: offline 		Arrogant people wanting everyone to conform to their vision of how the world should be? 

Online doms weren't the first to come up with the idea. 

(in reply to LadyTesa)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: A note to fellow Dominants (mostly the males) - 9/28/2007 2:58:46 PM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline 		Argh.  Trust me OP I feel your pain.  The ones who try to convert you to submissiveland are the same ones trying to convert me to bisexuality or polyamory.  They somehow feel that their presence is soooo great that it will turn any female they meet into a drooling and eager sycophant.

And they wonder why they're single...

(in reply to Damocles809)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: A note to fellow Dominants (mostly the males) - 9/28/2007 3:13:57 PM   
SaintAllie


Posts: 158
Joined: 3/23/2006
Status: offline 		The only mail I have received from Doms has been polite and chatty..no overtones of domming the world at all..

sounds like the OP got my share of the mail heheheh.. and no... don't forward them to me,  it's fine, I'll cope !!

Allie ( winks)

_____________________________

........"I am determined to press onward through my fears. When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid." ---Audre Lorde

Keep NZ nuclear free..

(in reply to Damocles809)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: A note to fellow Dominants (mostly the males) - 9/28/2007 3:28:23 PM   
sachiaiko


Posts: 30
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		LadyTesa and Psuedo,

Thank you both for your comments. And i appreciate you seeing where my point in particular was headed rather then that i was simply bitching.

Part of what i believe these forums are for is to express, discuss, and interact with one another on a respectful level about issues that affect all of us. The truth of the matter is that i was opening myself up for genuine conversation, not attack though i knew that was a possibility when i posted.

You may disagree with me, you may agree with me, but the point is to sit and talk about it rather then to throw insults or assume so and so is a moron for whatever reason. I care for people genuinely, the fact is that this very thing happened to me two times in one night, and i decided "Hell, i should talk about this. I cant be the only one this is happening too, maybe if we talk about this problem we can affect change in a possitive way, but at the very least i get to express myself and that always helps to some extent, ad maybe me expressing myself with give some one else some much needed support even if they never speak directly to me."

It cant hurt to share these thoughts, so rather then taking offense, sit down, talk intelligently, interact - lets make this site WONDERFUL instead of just a bunch of dominants vying for control and putting each other down. Why do we need to do that? I have no interest in arguemnt, i have Alot of interest in intelligent well thought out conversation about genuine issues. I dont care if i'm right or wrong, i'm fine with being wrong on a certain subject, cool, i get to learn something new. I dont need to defensively attack folks who disagree with me.

I dunno, i just think we'd all be happier if we "ASSUMED" that everyone around us wasnt hell bent on hurting, destroying, putting us down, or disrespecting us - and we reacted like they actually are open minded. The attacks i got are likely from people who have done exactly what i was bringing up as a problem - and then they do feel attacked. But my comments were geared towards no one in particular, so lets just have a good discussion instead of argue, okay?

(in reply to LadyTesa)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: A note to fellow Dominants (mostly the males) - 9/28/2007 4:08:38 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		It would be awesome if that happened. If somehow people didn't assume or read into things and I really used to think it was possible. I still hope it is but I don't think it will happen.
Text is a difficult medium when you add in a whole lot of different people posting at different times. Using the word 'sadist' *grinz* as an example, it can be meant in more than one meaning which ohboy means it sure is going to be taken in more than one meaning.
Beyond that I think I'm learning that a lot of people online just don't care what they say or to whom they say it.  Sometimes it feels like the friendliness is a really thin veneer covering a bunch of  well.. I dunno.
I will admit that to me you did come across wrong. I'm glad that I was wrong!

_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to sachiaiko)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: A note to fellow Dominants (mostly the males) - 9/28/2007 4:20:06 PM   
pseudopsychotic


Posts: 145
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		You're most welcome Sachaikoo.

quote:

Beyond that I think I'm learning that a lot of people online just don't care what they say or to whom they say it.  Sometimes it feels like the friendliness is a really thin veneer covering a bunch of  well.. I dunno.


Thing is, to most, online isn't real. Just a bunch of words on a screen. So people will bully, talk hard, cusre and just out right say whatever they want because well, whos to stop them? Five will get you ten however that the "e-flammers" would never have the balls to say a cross word to any one face to face.
Hey, you gotta be tough somewhere right?





_____________________________

Got a problem with me Solve it.
Think I'm trippin? Tie my shoe
Can't face me? Turn around

(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: A note to fellow Dominants (mostly the males) - 9/28/2007 6:52:21 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		Why do you think this is a problem only dommes have?  i couldn't tell you how many countless male subs who tried their best to convince me i was "really a domme at heart", or that i would make a "better domme then submissive", or that if i was truly submissive (this is a good one - i have to give credit for creativity here) i would dominate them as a submissive act LOL.  i am secure enough in my own identity to not even allow these guys to phase me.  i don't get defensive, there is no need to. Why create drama about something that can be simply remedied by saying no thanks and leave it at that. You seem to allow what others do or say or label themselves to affect you in a very negative way and take it upon yourself to speak for others when you really should only be speaking for yourself.  No need to insult and call people ignorant and idiots who must be new to the lifestyle and couldn't possibly own a slave - what a jump!

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Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to sachiaiko)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: A note to fellow Dominants (mostly the males) - 9/28/2007 7:18:59 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		This behavior comes from the Neanderthal notion that all fem doms are really just subs who haven't found the right master.  And of course, they will LET you dominate anyone else but them and they will choose who you will dominate  irregardless of what you sexual preference is.
 
Let it go.  It's not worth the pixels fretting about it.

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 9/28/2007 7:32:04 PM >

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Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to sachiaiko)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: A note to fellow Dominants (mostly the males) - 9/28/2007 7:23:25 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Tards are everywhere.

This is a site that caters to people who live fantasies-what did you expect?

Reality?

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I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to sachiaiko)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: A note to fellow Dominants (mostly the males) - 9/28/2007 7:26:22 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		Your gonna do great here.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: A note to fellow Dominants (mostly the males) - 9/28/2007 7:29:37 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Your gonna do great here.


I know, already am. On the other side.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: A note to fellow Dominants (mostly the males) - 9/28/2007 7:57:11 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		That was a Fast Reply that was directed towards our OP.

My bad

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: A note to fellow Dominants (mostly the males) - 9/28/2007 7:59:26 PM   
SirCache


Posts: 159
Joined: 3/26/2005
Status: offline 		For what it's worth, I treat everyone with respect because of the inherent nature of who we are as people.  If you state you are a Domme, then that is who you are and how you identify yourself--it's certainly not my place to try and change that aspect.  And I agree--you don't 'work your way up' if you are already dominant.  That's like saying one day my Honda will work it's way up to a Bentley.  Sure, I can think that all I want--but it's a Honda and will forever be so. 

You are dominant, and deserve to be respected for that, there is no bartering to make you anything less or more than what you are.

(in reply to sachiaiko)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: A note to fellow Dominants (mostly the males) - 9/28/2007 8:01:39 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		ahh,ok.np.............

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: A note to fellow Dominants (mostly the males) - 9/28/2007 8:26:36 PM   
sachiaiko


Posts: 30
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you, SirCache. :smiles: i love your analogy :)

(in reply to SirCache)
Profile   Post #: 40
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