what do you expect from a Submissive or Slave

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punnishme -> what do you expect from a Submissive or Slave (7/23/2005 3:16:26 PM)
In real life for those of you who have experience How do you expect a submissive or slave to act while alone in your presence? How do you expect a submissive or slave to dress? How do you expect a submissive or slave to speak to you...obviously with respect but are your submissives or slaves alloud to speak before their spoken to or just after? What are some rules...basic and / or complecated? What are some general tasks that are required? Just curious thanks all punnishme

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: what do you expect from a Submissive or Slave (7/23/2005 4:31:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: punnishme In real life for those of you who have experience How do you expect a submissive or slave to act while alone in your presence? Appropriately as an independent adult. quote: How do you expect a submissive or slave to dress? Appropriately as an independent adult, though he finds my costumes pleasantly amusing and prefers sexy outfits when we go on dates. quote: How do you expect a submissive or slave to speak to you...obviously with respect but are your submissives or slaves alloud to speak before their spoken to or just after? Normally, we're really not into protocol. quote: What are some rules...basic and / or complecated? Obey, no unprotected sex, no permanent marks without permission quote: What are some general tasks that are required? Take care of the cats when I'm in the house and the primary is not.

FangsNfeet -> RE: what do you expect from a Submissive or Slave (7/23/2005 8:22:14 PM)
In real life for those of you who have experience How do you expect a submissive or slave to act while alone in your presence? I expect her to be and act horney. She should also listen to me and do the the task that I have laid out for her to do for the day. Alone or out in public, I will always have respect, get to cuddle, and kiss anytime I want to. How do you expect a submissive or slave to dress? For the most part I let her wear what she wants. but if I don't like it, the back it goes to where it came. I love having my pet in my collar. Just my collar. But I also like her in night out fits and black dresses that exposes her cleavage. I also like seeing her wear black heals and have a rose in her hair. How do you expect a submissive or slave to speak to you...obviously with respect but are your submissives or slaves alloud to speak before their spoken to or just after? My pet is always allowed to speak just as long as she dosen't cut me off in a sentance. If I'm to be interupted from something that I was doing, it better be important or catch my interest. What are some rules...basic and / or complecated? Listen to me. Do as I say. If I start counting you better hurry up because each number I say turns into a swat from my switch. When I speak, you come to me NOW! not later, not ASAP but NOW! What are some general tasks that are required? Back rubs, house work, a little organizing, dishes, daily exercise, keeping a daily log of food and water/fluid intake, and whatever I come up with. If she goes shopping, she has a limit on how much to spend. Ever dollar over the amount turns into a swat with my belt or switch. But that dosen't mean that every dollar not spent can be used to deduct from future swats earned. That's the summary of how it goes between me and my pet. Once her an I move in together this August, I'll more than likely have a few more rules and such added into our relationship for her to follow. We've been together for 6mths now. She's collared to me and we are taking things to the step of living together making us a definate 24/7 D/s couple.

Phoenixandnika -> RE: what do you expect from a Submissive or Slave (7/23/2005 9:08:27 PM)
I think that your questions are vailid and ones we each think about when it comes to dealing with Dominates and submisisives. I also think that the answers vary just as the stars in the sky. As a slave I would recommend that these are things that should be discussed in detail with a dominate before taking a collar. They may change over time as you both grow or depending on circumstances but to go into it blindly would be unhealthy in my mind. That being said I will answer from my expereince with my Master. 1. How do you expect a submissive or slave to act while alone in your presence? There are times he wants to simply cuddle, me to kneel at his feet, sometimes he wants me to be his slut these things change dialy if not through the day however some things remain constant. I am always to remain tactful, I am to remain respectful even when upset, I am to be pleasing and obedient. I am to be honest. 2. How do you expect a submissive or slave to dress? I am a gothic and dess as such , when allowed. However there are times he demands I dress in other ways. For punishments he makes me dress as in slacks or what I call a granny dress or tennis shorts and polo shirts. At times he demands I wear panties, other times he demands I go without. In the end it up to him to descide although for the ost part he allows me to choose. He does demand I dress approriately for the situation however. An example no dressing in total goth gear or like a slut when dealing with our childresn school. laughs He also demands that when I crawl into his bed I am nude. 3. How do you expect a submissive or slave to speak to you...obviously with respect but are your submissives or slaves alloud to speak before their spoken to or just after? My Master encourages, demands I be open and honest with him about all things. If I disagree with him I am to do so respectfully. I am not to be sarcastic with him, this hard for I am the queen of sarcasm. I am not to raise my voice. I am not to demand anything, I may ask . 4. What are some rules...basic and / or complecated? Simple answer I am to be pleasing, I am to serve him, I am to be obedient. Now onto the complicated answer. I am to eat 2 balanced meals per day. I am to get at least 6 hours sleep per day. I NOT allowed to smoke or do drugs. I am NOT allowed to drink alchohol unless given explicit permission. If given I am only allowed 2 wine coolers or 1 shot per night and may only ask 2xs a week. I am NOT allowed sexual contact of any kind with anyone else weither online of real life with out his explicit permission. I am NOT allowed to cut. I am NOT allowed to blood let or play with electricty without his explicit permisison and supervission. I am to remain tactful always. 5. What are some general tasks that are required? I am currently blessed or cursed to stay at home. laughs First and fore most I am requied to se to the needs of my children. I am required to get up at 5 am the mornings my Master works make fresh coffee, prepare his lunch for work, and if needed his breakfast for the morning. I am required to do house work and have it done before he returns home. I am required to journal monday - friday. with specific requirements fulfilled ( the statement I am slave you are Master, You are to be pleased I am to be pleasing, You are to be served and I am to serve, You are to be obeyed and I am to obey. Why? Because I am Master you are slave, write about the day before and something I learned, a poem or essay (2xs a week), name 1 way I love my Master, and an end of the day wish. I'm required to meet his sexual needs. I am required to wash him and shave him. (although we are still both rather nervous about me shaving him so typically he does that himself) I am required to prepare meals. I am to do 30 minutes of meditation every day and in that time think about my role as mother and slave and what those role mean. nika, Phoenix's gothic slave

Padriag -> RE: what do you expect from a Submissive or Slave (7/24/2005 1:41:00 AM)
An interesting set of questions for discussion. Fair enough, here are my answers. quote: ORIGINAL: punnishme In real life for those of you who have experience How do you expect a submissive or slave to act while alone in your presence? Deferential, respectful, obedient which goes for in public as well. She is welcome to voice her opinions, respectfully. If we are discussing religion, politics, philosophy, education or some other such and she disagrees with me, that's fine so long as she's respectful about it. We do not have to agree on everything, she does however have to obey when given instructions regarding things I wish her to do. quote: How do you expect a submissive or slave to dress? In public I expect her to dress appropriately for the circumstance, if we are going to a fine resteraunt dress well, if we are working in the garden wear work clothes, if visiting friends neat but casual, etc. If I don't like her choices I'll select something for her, and on occasion I may select something for her from the beginning. When alone at home she is generally kept nude unless I specifically instruct otherwise. quote: How do you expect a submissive or slave to speak to you...obviously with respect but are your submissives or slaves alloud to speak before their spoken to or just after? I take a page from the military on this. She is can speak, ask questions, engage in conversation without having to ask but must remember her place and be respectful at all times. If the conversation is something where she feels the need to speak without worrying about protocol or being entirely respectful, she can ask permission to speak freely and if given can pretty much say anything on her mind as bluntly as she feels the need without fear of punishment for it. quote: What are some rules...basic and / or complecated? Hmmm... couple of basic rules... She is to be clean shaven of all body hair (except the hair on her head which is to be worn long). My instructions are not suggestions and I expect them to be carried out promptly and to the best of her ability. More complex examples... Posture when on all fours, she should keep her knees shoulder width apart, back arched downward slightly (just enough to push her tits out), hips rotated down and back (pushing her pussy out so it is exposed), head up. I expect her to do her best to be pleasing to me in anything she does, whether I am present or not and whether the task is directly in service to me or not. I expect her to use both her own best judgement in this as well as taking her own initiative in finding ways to please me beyond those tasks I give her. (I do not want an automaton) quote: What are some general tasks that are required? Housekeeping, cooking, reminding me to eat and sleep, finding ways to make my life more comfortable, being a good companion to me, being helpful in various ways such as suggesting that the charcoal grey suit with a wine shirt and tie might be a better fashion choice than that plaid suit with the bright yellow bow tie (I'm not actually that bad, but most guys could use a little fashion help and I'm no exception), helping me decompress when I get too stressed by entertaining me, distracting me, being soothing, finding additional ways to make me proud of her, taking care of herself including her own health and physical appearance, being a second set of eyes that can help me see things I might have missed and provide a second perspective on things, in general being as helpful as she is able in as many ways as she can think of in addition to those tasks I assign her. I've had three live in slaves in the time I've been active in this lifestyle (over a decade) and the above is drawn from those past experiences and will likely reflect future relationships as well. I'm constantly revising and updating my various rules and expectations as my needs change and as I grow and learn (a never ending process). Currently I do not have a slave and am not actively seeking one. At the moment my focus is on other priorities in my life and likely will be for the next six months, after that I'll probably be open to starting a new relationship(s), unless I happen to meet someone exceptional before then.

MasterHyde -> RE: what do you expect from a Submissive or Slave (7/24/2005 2:51:10 PM)
How do you expect a submissive or slave to act while alone in your presence? I expect her to be consistent in her behavior whether I'm there or not. Generally, I like my girls to be well-mannered, polite, and respectful of others. I expect her to represent herself (and me) well in public, especially. How do you expect a submissive or slave to dress? I like my girls on the "girly" side of things. I like them to wear skirts and dresses, to wear their hair on the longer side, and to wear styles that empahsizes their feminine side. In general, I prefer them to be a little bit modest as well. A bit of restraint is required. I don't like garrish jewelry or harsh makeup. Understatement is a very good thing. Of course, just how revealing her clothing is will depend on the situation. In some settings, like at home, no clothing at all is preferred. How do you expect a submissive or slave to speak to you...obviously with respect but are your submissives or slaves alloud to speak before their spoken to or just after? Protocol varies depending on the situation. For the most part, I'm pretty casual, and I allow my girls to speak when they need to, without having to ask permission first. I do insist on being addressed properly, which usually means either Sir or Master, depending on how far our relationship has developed. In some situations, I do require a girl to be seen and not heard. Mostly these are formal settings or if I'm doing some important work and I don't wish to be disturbed. What are some rules...basic and / or complecated? The basic ones are easiest to discuss here. Be respectful and courteous at all times. Ask permission before entering or leaving the room I am in. Always be honest with me. I generally don't to hear a girl cursing, so that is forbidden unless I have specifically told her otherwise. What are some general tasks that are required? Besides the obvious sexual service, I also require my girls to endure pain for my pleasure. I also require them to be useful in more practical terms. They should be able to do domestic chores, like cooking and cleaning. If they have other skills that are useful, such as organization or doing research, I may put them to work supporting my business endeavors. If a girl doesn't have the skills I require, I may teach her or send her to someone else who can. For example, if I want her to be good at massage or erotic dancing, I will send her to someone who can teach her to do these things well.

fastlane -> RE: what do you expect from a Submissive or Slave (7/24/2005 3:08:17 PM)
That they are grateful to me and know how lucky they are, that they can kiss my ass and I can't!

JerryInTampa -> RE: what do you expect from a Submissive or Slave (7/26/2005 6:47:08 AM)
I try not to start with a mold and try to cram someone in there. All people are unique. I demand honesty, for without trust there is no relationship. I need attraction, or I will have no intererest beyond friendship. While there are certinly things I like and generalities I can make (man I'd love to find a severe-slave masochist), I prefer by far to get to know a person, find out what there interests are, talk about mine, and work from there. Having said that, I'll try my best to answer the unanswerable by making generalities over past D/s relationships. quote: ow do you expect a submissive or slave to act while alone in your presence? In short "as she has been taught" and "as appropriate to the situation". Generally: with respect, honesty, and submission. quote: How do you expect a submissive or slave to dress? Again as appropriate. I've generally steered my slaves towards styles of dress that I found pleasing on her. My current girl I've upscaled out of base-ball caps and t-shirts into tank-tops, boots, cashmire shirts (there was a sale and they look very good on her), baught her a suit, etc. When I took her to a play-party (with the intent of playing) I put her in a skirt and thigh-highs. quote: How do you expect a submissive or slave to speak to you...obviously with respect but are your submissives or slaves alloud to speak before their spoken to or just after? In play or out of play? Traditionally, I've made three levels of protocol: In play, general, and 'nilla. So far, I've not had a girl have trouble telling which mode was appropriate, but would make rules if I did. In play the rules are the most strict. The slave should only speak if asked/instructed or if it's neccessairy to convey information. In general (what we would be in "around the house"), there are protocols to getting attention and asking a question. Basic things like "come to me to speak, don't shout across the house" and "don't interrupt" and "come and wait for acknowledgement" stuff... with neccessairy exceptions ("the kitchen is on fire" is not something that should wait for her to cross the house and then wait for my acknowledgement). In 'nilla, the trappings are changed to subtleties... and that's a long story in itself. quote: What are some rules...basic and / or complecated? Common ones include control of basic functions (get permission to cum for example. Sometimes I've required permission to be gotten to go to the bathroom, in other relationships not). I love ritual (my girl is required to meet me, on her knees, at the door). When I can, I tend to incorporate a good deal quote: What are some general tasks that are required? As everything else, varies. For the house-slave, there are a good number of chores. For the non-house slave into domestic slavery, there are also a good number of chores. Self-maintence is important (see "attracted to" above), and I can always find things to assign (and punish for) when the relationship warrants. All that said, I'm not using most of those right now. This relationship is different from the last couple (where I did use such devices). While this is all stuff I enjoy, have done, and would enjoy doing; I won't try to put a square peg in a round hole. Jerry

IronBear -> RE: what do you expect from a Submissive or Slave (7/26/2005 7:39:15 AM)
How do you expect a submissive or slave to act while alone in your presence? ~ With all the intensity and decorum of a well trained kajira. How do you expect a submissive or slave to dress? ~ However I decide at the time, according to the occasion How do you expect a submissive or slave to speak to you...obviously with respect but are your submissives or slaves aloud to speak before their spoken to or just after? ~ With honesty, if they wish to start a conversation: 1. I expect them to ask if they may speak. 2. I also require them to respond to any thing I say to them. What are some rules...basic and / or complicated? ~ This will be dependent on the trik in my collar and it will change as she grows in her collar. However the cardinal rules are: 1. She will at all times remember that she is a kajira and act accordingly. 2. She will always know she can approach me with any problem, personal or not and that I will listen and make every attempt to sort the matter out if it is within my range of influence. What are some general tasks that are required? ~ This is very dependent if she is 24/7 or if not how often we get together. If she is staying with me/us she is expected to do some housework and most essentially make sure my coffee cup is not empty unless I advise otherwise. Personal services such as sex, massages and such are also necessary. Generally standard daily duties will be posted on the board. She will serve food and refreshments according to the standards I have trained her for both my wife and I and also any guests. Regarding visiting slaves or subs, she will show them the same courtesy and shoe them where things are so they can serve their owner/s

MstrHellsFury -> RE: what do you expect from a Submissive or Slave (7/27/2005 7:17:59 PM)
I'll remain mute on this one as others ideas and ways don't impact on what I do or expect... Fury

domm4subf1970 -> RE: what do you expect from a Submissive or Slave (8/3/2005 11:20:03 PM)
I expect respect, she would dress always sexy, She can speak,

MasterBenedict -> RE: what do you expect from a Submissive or Slave (8/4/2005 7:28:38 PM)
I EXPECT my subs/slaves to be ABSOLUTELY subservient to me... in ALL ways

MasterBenedict -> RE: what do you expect from a Submissive or Slave (8/4/2005 7:29:57 PM)
Ahhhhh Dress? WHO said ANYTHING anout getting DRESSED??

wolffeathers -> RE: what do you expect from a Submissive or Slave (8/6/2005 6:19:32 PM)
How do you expect a submissive or slave to act while alone in your presence? That depends on what is happening. If we are having a conversation, I expect her to wait her turn, and not stop me in the middle of talking. If we are just watching TV, or something similar, I expect her to be at my feet, or in my arms (depending on my mood). ect... How do you expect a submissive or slave to dress? Again, depends on what's going on. Alone at home, dress? Sometimes, however she wishes (as long as it meets approval), going clubbing, well, I go to the local Goth club, shouldn't be hard to figure out. Out with family, in a way that won't make the family faint and say "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING?". How do you expect a submissive or slave to speak to you...obviously with respect but are your submissives or slaves alloud to speak before their spoken to or just after? First and foremost, I will be the first to admit that at times respect goes out the window. I do not expect someone to respect me if I have given them no reason to. This depends on the level of the relationship. If it is just D/s, then they may speak first. M/s, they better wait till I speak. What are some rules...basic and / or complecated? My first rule is communication. If I don't know what my sub enjoys, don't enjoys, hits buttons that should just be left alone, then I may do something that will scar her emotionally (the last person I considered my sub had issues with being forced to perform oral. Not that she would if told to, but forcing by her hair hit areas of her mind. ) Second rule, and some of you are going to yell at me for this, is a safe word. Especially when the relationship starts. Even if it never gets sexual, I know that my sub is not saying "no" to be a brat or to be punished. And, I can't see her body every time something needs to be stopped. Third rule, communication. Duh. Forth rule. I have family that would not understand a D/s or M/s relationship. Therefore, around them, I have to downplay alot. It sucks, but it's true. Fifth rule, stay away from some of my "friends". Some of them are the type I've been reading about throughout the forums. The fuck now, leave now type. And they don't care if that person is in a mono a mono relationship. Sixth rule (and this goes for vanilla relationships too), let me calm down. I have a long fuse on my temper, so I know when I'm going to blow (I find that some Doms/Masters I've talked to in the past are not like this). Let me calm down before I take my anger out on my sub. Seventh rule, communication (notice how important this is?) What are some general tasks that are required? I'm going to assume with someone that is live in here. I do expect the house to be clean, and clothing washed. Now, I like to cook, so I have no problem sharing that with someone. I don't task someone with being around me 24/7 (which is why I'm a Dom, not a Master). I want my subs to have their own life, and friends. If they don't, then they may start to resent you, unless they are a complete sub (and I do know a few that are like that, not really my type of girl). Wolffeathers

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