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i'm confused lol - 9/29/2007 3:48:54 PM   
jUsLoKiNg2NiBbLe


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/23/2007
Status: offline 		when i first joined collarme i thought all the way i was a submissive, then i met this guy and we became good friends, he was a switch. but then he asked if i could domme him and i did and have been doing it since, so now i say i'm a switch and usually when people talk to me i say i'm submissive but my profile says switch because i was told i should put that since i am dom to one guy and he is the only one. to anybody else i'm very submissive..am i a switch or a submissive? help i'm confused lol
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: i'm confused lol - 9/29/2007 3:58:15 PM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		If you can remember that login you must be doing something right, unless you use the auto login thing I suppose. I'd say you're a Subswitch. It's a new category I just made up.

I've just seen what it says, god I'm thick sometimes.

< Message edited by FullCircle -- 9/29/2007 3:59:42 PM >

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∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to jUsLoKiNg2NiBbLe)
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RE: i'm confused lol - 9/29/2007 4:01:59 PM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		It's late I'm tired that all forget I just said that bit about remembering the login.

_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to FullCircle)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: i'm confused lol - 9/29/2007 4:15:29 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Do you enjoy topping him or are you doing it as a favor to him because he wants it?

Do you miss submitting?

Sounds like you still consider yourself a sub, but you've become a service top to him. And nothing's wrong with that if it fills your needs.

(in reply to FullCircle)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: i'm confused lol - 9/30/2007 1:54:39 AM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		actually the term subswitch has been around for a loooooong while.  I wouldn't worry to much about what to label yourself. just whatever feels comfy to YOU. 

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: i'm confused lol - 9/30/2007 6:53:16 AM   
jUsLoKiNg2NiBbLe


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/23/2007
Status: offline 		it started out as a favor to him, but i do enjoy doing it.  oh yes i totally miss submitting. but it feels weird for me to be the domme

(in reply to LadyLynx)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: i'm confused lol - 9/30/2007 11:03:52 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		we are all dogs sniffing each others butts.....some times you meet an alfa and some times you meet and omega either way instict makes you act accordingly.

thats my poetic take on it...

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to jUsLoKiNg2NiBbLe)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: i'm confused lol - 9/30/2007 4:09:42 PM   
honestsub4real


Posts: 22
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline 		To the OP, you are what you 'feel" you are, nobody can answer that but you!  Good luck.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: i'm confused lol - 9/30/2007 4:12:03 PM   
honestsub4real


Posts: 22
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline 		and to claify that, what i mean is that if all of us said you are a "switch", a "sub" etc, it does not matter, it is what you feel, you will know yourself hon :)

(in reply to honestsub4real)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: i'm confused lol - 9/30/2007 8:26:47 PM   
gemofabrat


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		had a fantastic experience in toronto thgis summer, can't wait to be back in Lucy's arms

(in reply to honestsub4real)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: i'm confused lol - 10/1/2007 1:51:21 AM   
PsychoticWolf


Posts: 91
Joined: 7/13/2007
Status: offline 		The only thing that changes when you change your title on this site, is the type of people you are more likely to be contacted by.

If you feel weird being a Domme, then it's probably not the life-choice for you.
If you're happier being a submissive, then that is probably what's for you.

If you do feel the urge to be a "Switch" by Domme'ing someone once in awhile, it's not going to change the way you are.

I've met a lot of submissives who act Domme'ish in order to give off the feisty feeling and see if the person in charge can keep them under control or not. People use it as a way when they want to be punished or feeling 'bratty.'

Just really about what you're feeling.

_____________________________

"If what you seek in Reality, turns out to be Fantasy, but your Fantasy becomes Reality. . . In which can you put hope into, to find *the* person."

(in reply to gemofabrat)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: i'm confused lol - 10/1/2007 10:53:22 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jUsLoKiNg2NiBbLe

when i first joined collarme i thought all the way i was a submissive, then i met this guy and we became good friends, he was a switch. but then he asked if i could domme him and i did and have been doing it since, so now i say i'm a switch and usually when people talk to me i say i'm submissive but my profile says switch because i was told i should put that since i am dom to one guy and he is the only one. to anybody else i'm very submissive..am i a switch or a submissive? help i'm confused lol


What you are is you.  As such, you are unique.  Don't worry about fitting into artificial labels: just be yourself.  As PsychoticWolf said above, the only effect of the label you apply to yourself on this site is the type of people who are likely to read your profile and contact you.  If you prefer doms or tops, then call yourself a sub here.  If you prefer subs or bottoms, then call yourself a dom here.  It really doesn't matter otherwise. 

(in reply to jUsLoKiNg2NiBbLe)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: i'm confused lol - 10/1/2007 11:25:10 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jUsLoKiNg2NiBbLe

when i first joined collarme i thought all the way i was a submissive, then i met this guy and we became good friends, he was a switch. but then he asked if i could domme him and i did and have been doing it since, so now i say i'm a switch and usually when people talk to me i say i'm submissive but my profile says switch because i was told i should put that since i am dom to one guy and he is the only one. to anybody else i'm very submissive..am i a switch or a submissive? help i'm confused lol


I'd say you were a switch... but that only effects your profile status based on what you're looking for.

If you're just looking to talk to folks and not interested in any type of PE or play or anything with another partner, it really doesn't matter what you put since you aren't looking to match up with someone.  In that case, I'd say put "switch" since it indicates your over-all personality...

If you're only interested in dominating this one person but are looking for someone to submit/bottom to, then I'd list "switch" OR "sub/slave".  I'd lean more towards the latter since that would indicate more truly the interaction you want with them (they won't be searching thinking you're looking to switch with the partner you're seeking here).  Maybe throw a note in your profile explaining your situation or talk about it when it comes up in discussion so to clarify things later.

Me, I'm a switch but my profile lists me as a dominant.  I don't switch with one partner and am only looking for someone submissive to me in power exchange here.  I top or bottom to anyone, so when I'm looking for that I put it in my written portion of my profile. 

The profile options are limitted whereas humans and human relationships are pretty well not... Put what is the most accurate thing for you and what you're seeking here, then let your emails and posts express more about you as they naturally will.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to jUsLoKiNg2NiBbLe)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: i'm confused lol - 10/2/2007 5:28:55 AM   
Drifa


Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Rural Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jUsLoKiNg2NiBbLe
when i first joined collarme i thought all the way i was a submissive, then i met this guy and we became good friends, he was a switch. but then he asked if i could domme him and i did and have been doing it since, so now i say i'm a switch and usually when people talk to me i say i'm submissive but my profile says switch because i was told i should put that since i am dom to one guy and he is the only one. to anybody else i'm very submissive..am i a switch or a submissive? help i'm confused lol


I'm very much a submissive and masochist, but I have a play partner who does occasionally want to be topped. I struggled with the whole idea until I figured out that by doing it I was providing service and pleasure.  My friend is a switch, I am still very much a submissive providing service, no matter how big and bad that service makes me sound for a short while ;-)

(in reply to jUsLoKiNg2NiBbLe)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: i'm confused lol - 10/2/2007 10:31:57 AM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		Drifa, your pic makes you look very dominant. just wanted to let you know.  (not complaining mind you, I like your pic.)

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to Drifa)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: i'm confused lol - 10/2/2007 2:27:04 PM   
CatKnight


Posts: 37
Joined: 8/31/2007
Status: offline 		First, Drifa:  LadyLynx is right.  I certainly thought you were a Dom until this thread!
 
Hi, OP:
 
My very first post here was pretty close to yours.  It asked "What am I?"
 
The answer, as you've seen here as well, was ... "You are you."
 
Don't be too quick to label yourself.  Personally I LOVE labels and definitions - they help me make sense of my existence ... but it's not always a good idea to apply them to people.  It's never a great idea to pigeonhole yourself.
 
To answer your question, I suppose I'd ask WHY topping him gives you pleasure.  Do you get a surge of adrenalin from having him in your power?  Do you like doing things to him?  Do you like the sense of control?  Then you're a switch.
 
Do you like the way his face lights up?  Or the way he moans/growls/whimpers when he's in your power?  Do you do this because you enjoy watching the pleasure in his eyes?  Then you're a service top - a sub.
 
And even then that's not really definitive.  I fall into both of those lists.  I'm a switch because I have a definite desire to lead ... and a desire to see to the other's pleasure and occasionally just shut down and 'feel.'  I can make a case for being any number of titles on here.
 
In the end, I am me and you are you.  Don't sweat the nuts and bolts.  If you and your partner are having fun, then it doesn't really matter.  Personally I'm still learning that lesson.



(in reply to LadyLynx)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: i'm confused lol - 10/2/2007 5:09:34 PM   
Drifa


Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Rural Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLynx
Drifa, your pic makes you look very dominant. just wanted to let you know.  (not complaining mind you, I like your pic.)


(grin) That spacey look is post-play, and was shot with me sitting on the stairs at the holidays.  I have several others from the same session that would leave no doubts at all about me being submissive... but (blush) I don't post 'em!

(in reply to LadyLynx)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: i'm confused lol - 10/2/2007 5:18:52 PM   
MissHarlet


Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline 		Enjoy .. and be true to yourself ... labels do not matter or make you anything......

On the other hand it seems to me that you truly enjoy being a submissive .... the question is how do you see yourself .... and what is most fulfilling for you ... that is where you belong I would think.....

_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to Drifa)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: i'm confused lol - 10/12/2007 1:52:47 PM   
lordhedon


Posts: 11
Joined: 9/14/2004
Status: offline 		If you were truyl a switch you wouldnt have to ask someone else. The answer is no you are a sub who onced domed someone.

(in reply to jUsLoKiNg2NiBbLe)
Profile   Post #: 19
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