Not being allowed to serve

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Not being allowed to serve

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Not being allowed to serve

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Not being allowed to serve - 7/24/2005 7:21:30 AM

Superman42280

Posts: 285
Joined: 3/28/2005
Status: offline

if a sub doesn't do as requested or errors and needs to be punished, how severe is the punishment that the sub would not be allowed to serve for the rest of the night? just ignored by her Master for the remainder of the evening, free to do whatever she wants, just not serve and please her Master? How hard would that be for a sub?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Not being allowed to serve - 7/24/2005 7:25:25 AM

imtempting

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

Ive never been punished like that but could imagine it would be difficult as I know its more of a sevre punishment from something very bad

(in reply to Superman42280)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Not being allowed to serve - 7/24/2005 9:27:10 AM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

I'm not sure how effective that punishment would be for me. I have a tendency to ignore problems. If people ignore me then I simply pick up a book or play around on the internet in an attempt to ignore them back. I guess it would hinge on the dynamics of the relationship really.

(in reply to imtempting)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Not being allowed to serve - 7/24/2005 11:05:24 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

That would be -very- bad for me and would probably have to be reserved for something like...well..I dunno, but something very bad.

I have -big- abandonment issues. Ignoring me/not allowing me closeness -hurts- a great deal, in a way that isn't constructive.

Edited to add:
I don't think it'd really be punishment for me. It'd be just plain =pain= in the not good, not helpful, not anything way.

< Message edited by perverseangelic -- 7/24/2005 12:29:32 PM >

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to junecleaver)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Not being allowed to serve - 7/24/2005 11:13:38 AM

oceanprincess

Posts: 42
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

The part of ignoring your sub, and not letting them serve you is fine. They don't care. But, if you tell them that they can't do anything, absolutely anything, no books, internet, tv, playing with toys, nothing, all you can do is sit there, and I am going to ignore you...That's the worst punishment ever. I have been given that punishment before, it was harsh. I don't remember what I did though...But I will never do anything to cause a punishment like that again. I went into hyterics. I was crying and so upset that I couldn't do anything but sit there, out of sight from my Dom.

ocean

(in reply to Superman42280)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Not being allowed to serve - 7/24/2005 11:30:44 AM

Synocense

Posts: 255
Joined: 8/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanprincess

The part of ignoring your sub, and not letting them serve you is fine. They don't care.
ocean

Ack! In my case, that would be....and has been....the worst of any punishment received. I could do anything that I wanted, whenever I wanted; the decisions were mine. The reason he did not allow me to serve him was simple. I took it upon myself to make a decision that involved the both of us. The way he saw it, if I was going to pick and choose when to relinquish control, he was going to pick and choose when to take it. For me it is true, "the best lessons are the hardest learned"

Syn

_____________________________

Before you speak, ask yourself..
Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
Does it improve upon the silence?

(in reply to oceanprincess)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Not being allowed to serve - 7/24/2005 12:13:15 PM

Hissweetshiv

Posts: 200
Joined: 6/24/2005
Status: offline

Don't fall for the misconception that all subs would react in the same fashion to the same punishment. As some of the responses have already shown, some subs wouldn't care about the punishment you described, and some subs feel that it's the worst they've experienced. I've never personally been "ignored" as a punishment, but i don't think it would be the worst He could do to me. It WOULD be very unpleasant to say the least, but i think there is far worse He could do.

(in reply to Superman42280)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Not being allowed to serve - 7/25/2005 8:59:21 AM

ChainedAngel

Posts: 72
Joined: 5/12/2005
Status: offline

This wouldn't do anything except piss me off, honestly. I consider ignoring someone to be a cheap escape from responsibility. If I am doing something wrong, the best way to deal with it in my case is to sit down and talk to me about it. Chances are I either do not know that I am displeasing the dominant or I am so pissed off about something else that I simply don't care at that point. In either case, a conversation instead of the silent treatment gets to the root of the problem a lot easier.

< Message edited by ChainedAngel -- 7/25/2005 9:00:41 AM >

(in reply to Superman42280)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Not being allowed to serve - 7/25/2005 10:02:34 AM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

Hello There,
I love to serve My Master. If he took over one of my duties for thinking I had not done an acceptable job I would be very embarrassed and hurt. If he just ignored me for the night as a form of punishment for my behaviour I don't think it would bother me too much, especially if I was still permitted to do other things.
Of course my Master has a golden rule of we are not permitted to go to bed mad so I'd know we'd work things out before bed & once in bed the make up sex would be worth him ignoring me all night anyway.

Not much of a punishment in my opinion really.
Sincerely,
sub usuzanne

(in reply to Superman42280)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Not being allowed to serve - 7/25/2005 11:47:49 AM

tinkJH

Posts: 180
Joined: 5/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Superman42280

if a sub doesn't do as requested or errors and needs to be punished, how severe is the punishment that the sub would not be allowed to serve for the rest of the night? just ignored by her Master for the remainder of the evening, free to do whatever she wants, just not serve and please her Master? How hard would that be for a sub?

It depends on the sub. Was a task forgotten or did she error on purpose? Or just beacuse she got caught up in everyday life and "slipped". Slaves, afterall are human. But, that doesn't mean that a punishment shouldnt be delivered. However, punishment should fit the crime.

Then, it goes back to the individual sub. To me, being able to "do whatever I wanted" is a reward. Not a punishment. However, Master Ignoring me, is not.

Then, look at how the sub/slave reacts? Is she upset by this? Or, does she seem happy, not bothered by it at all? What is she supposed to learn from this?

I've forgotten things before.. Master corrects the error and I do my task, and if he deems it, then I am punished. Example would be - I forgot to fold and put away clothes one day. I knelt for an hour on my fingers. This was after I had already been warned for forgetting 3 times. This doesnt count the times were my dau was busy and I simply didn't have time.

I have to agree with ChainedAngel. If a slave/sub does wrong, and her Master just ignores her. Its a cop-out. The situation needs to be corrected and addressed.

There is only one time I was ignored by Master. I did something, that, I am not gonna indulge into here. But, for two weeks, I was allowed no contact with him (this was before we were r/t). I could not talk to him on the phone, I could not EMAIL or IM him at all. I deserved every moment of this punishment and it was the hardest I have ever dealt with. Of course, there was more to it, like the caning I recieved after it on his next visit.

Since Master and I have been r/t, in the last year I have been "Ignored" twice. But, nothing like that. I wouldn't even consider it ignoring. I just call it alone time, Once - he gave to me after I told him I felt burnt out, that I just wanted to cry and pull all my hair out. I was adjusting to life being and actually living with him with 3 children (from my previous marriage but he considers them ours :) ) to getting settled into a new house, new life. It was hard, there was a lot of stress. He told me to pick a book off the book shelf, and set me in the bedroom, hooked an ankle cuff on me and strapped it to the foot bed, said I wasnt allowed to leave that room until he came for me. The second time, I asked him for it. Granted, there are times when I do something, or have done something, become snappish or mouthy, or disobediant and He will look at me, and say we will talk about this later. (Its not easy to be a single parent for 4 years and then be able to have over some of the responsbility of parenting!) In that time frame - from when I do wrong, till there is time enough for us to discuss the situation and/or for me to be punished. He might say very little to me, or nothing at all. I suppose it technically is ignoring, tho I am not one that is going to be saying much either. I would be more set to my own thoughts on what I did wrong, and how to avoid doing it again in the future and how to make amens to Master.

(in reply to Superman42280)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Not being allowed to serve - 7/25/2005 3:43:32 PM

perfection20005

Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline

I have only been punished like that once. And I will have to say its the worst punishment ever. I hate being ignored and not allowed to please.

perfection

(in reply to Superman42280)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Not being allowed to serve - 7/25/2005 4:01:33 PM

fourpeas

Posts: 243
Joined: 5/6/2005
Status: offline

I don't think ignoring is a constructive punishment.

I think there needs to be a differentiation between "punishments" and "corrections." To me, corrections are valuable. They help me to be at my best as a better servant. Punishments only scare me and make me feel like I don't want to be myself.

(in reply to perfection20005)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: Not being allowed to serve - 7/25/2005 9:07:53 PM

LittleMissSub

Posts: 46
Joined: 2/23/2005
Status: offline

This is in my opinion, an excellent question.

I've received this punishment before, and let me tell you, it was horrible. Perhaps an explanation of the circumstances would help to understand.

When I was dating my first Dom, he had made a rule that everytime I came over to his house I was to look in the mailbox for instructions. I always looked, every time. This night was a little different. He had asked me to pick up some things for dinner and had the screen door propped open for me when I arrived. I had my hands full. I walked in and put the things on the counter in the kitchen. He was no where to be found. Everytime he hadn't been right there to greet me, there had been instrutions waiting in the box. I said to myself, I should check the box. For whatever reason (I still don't know) I didn't, and went to look to find him.

We had dinner, and when we were relaxing in the bedroom watching TV, I heard him open the front door. He came back in and asked me what I hadn't done that day. I told him check the box. He was really upset. He said "the ONE standing request I've asked of you, you can't do." He didn't say anything else, just sat there, watching TV. I told him I'd thought of it, which only made me feel more stupid, ashamed, embarassed. I couldn't look at him. I knew he was disappointed and it killed me that he was disappointed with me. I longed to do something to make it right, but all I could do was sit there and sniffle.

Later, we talked about it, and he told me he'd been so upset he didn't think he had control of himself. He'd wanted to ask me to leave and go home rather than spend the night at his place. I told him that would have been horrible for me.

Instead, and i'm not sure if he knew before and during what he did if what he was doing was a punishment or not, he shaved my pubic hair. He'd not allowed me to do anything with it for months, and I hated it. I wanted it gone. So, while I should have been enjoying every second of what he was doing, all I could think was that he was giving me what I wanted when I'd failed at doing something so SIMPLE for him. It didn't seem fair that I got what I wanted, and he didn't get what he wanted, that's not the way things were supposed to work. We talked some more, I told him that I'd interpreted what he'd done as punishment, and he said that I'd learned my lesson and we should put it behind us.

So, I don't know if he was ignoring me purposely, or taking a neccessary time out, but either way...it was bad. Serving is what a sub needs to do, at their most basic level. I think when you take that away from a person, and explain why it's being done it's extremely effective. Being ignored when you don't know why it's happening is frustrating, and doesn't allow the person that time you're giving them to think about what they've done. Ignoring when they know why it's happening gives the person time to reflect on the situation. Of course....some sort of physical punishment does help to divide the past from the present and future...

(in reply to tinkJH)

Profile

Post #: 13