RE: I am Struggling.... (Full Version)

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brightspot -> RE: I am Struggling.... (8/1/2005 7:16:51 PM)

Hello punnishme,

Again I will iriterate, that my Domina and I do have an open relationship
but we also have open honest communication. She does not desire anything
polyandrous and neither of us have been with anyone else for the year and
a half we have been together.
It is a pact between us that if we even become interested in someone out-side
of us we will talk it out and it will be open and honest and we will decide where we want to be from there. It is not an open relationship where one or the other is free to pursue and/or be sexual with others without full exposure of our feelings.

I think you misunderstand why I am struggling. It is more with an Ex who remains friends with my Domina but they are not sexual or desirerous of each other in that way.
But they have come to a point where there are now very close friends, ergo to whit....
When I am there with her, her Ex is around a Lot and I find myself feeling very uncomfortable as I have never had to deal with such a situation before.

*Brightspot



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: I am Struggling.... (8/1/2005 8:14:39 PM)

It can be difficult. For example, when an established poly relationship tries to take in a new female and the original woman goes to others for advice, it's quite common for one of the first responses to be "she's just trying to take him for himself!"

Unfortunately, that happens to be true a fair amount of time, plenty of non-poly chicks play poly to get into a secure situation and plenty of doms will happily roll over onto some hot new female flesh if given the opportunity, no matter what the consequences.

So, understand the reactions you are getting are based on some sense of reality and simply sort out the applicable ones from the others.



brightspot -> RE: I am Struggling.... (8/1/2005 9:14:45 PM)

Yes, I think I know what you mean Ems[;)].

*Brightspot



Fidelity -> RE: I am Struggling.... (8/1/2005 9:28:08 PM)

Speak to her as plainly as you are this board of strangers.

Be courageous,and things will be resolved.

Your struggle is with the fear you have of your feelings.This MUST be expressed to your partner-not the rest of us, who have no power to make changes to this situation..

You MUST take the chance of dissapointing your Top-or this will only get worse for you both. Were I in her position, I would WANT to hear about anything that was creating issues in the relationship. After all,the worst dissapointment possible would be to let this acid eat away at you both,until nothing was left.

Tell HER,there IS no other way but to FACE your fears,head on!



brightspot -> RE: I am Struggling.... (8/1/2005 9:39:32 PM)

Hello Fidelity,

We are doing just that, and that is our style of communication.
She is a very busy person and I am not physically(we spend extensive time together and then periods apart) with her right now so we have IM's and phone calls...so we are working through this in chunks of time...I am sure if we were together(We travel to be together we are 400 miles a part) we would deal much more efficiently with this issue.

It is not so much that I am relying on what people tell me here on the boards athough I have gotten some great advice and support...It is that people add to the thread and I like to answer someone who has taken the time to share their thoughts. It also gives me insight into how better I can deal with my end of things and my feelings until we(my Domina and I) figure this out.

Thanks for your input too....

*Brightspot



GentleLady -> RE: I am Struggling.... (8/3/2005 6:00:08 AM)

quote:

Ok so what your stating here is that it's ok emotionally and mentally for a submissive or slave to be unstable.

That is not what I said at all punnishme.

Gentle Lady



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