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BrokenSaint -> RE: Do you feel like your slaves/submissives tend to be.. (12/4/2007 4:00:42 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: hermione83
quote:
Slaves have a larger ratio than dominant doms - PS, I'm not sure I understood this. A larger ratio of what than dominant doms.. ? *confused* Celeste, I'd be willing, but I don't even make 100 dollars a week total atm in school, much less could I pay that for therapy. I did try for months of therapy though. I was on SSRI's for years, and it did nothing as far as I could tell. Prozac helped prevent my migraine headaches.. and other than that... the only thing they did was give me worse nightmares than I normally have each night. =\
Well first off, were you seeing a psychiatrist or a psychologist. Also what orientation? Psychiatrists? There for the drugs. Certain disorders etc need medications to stave off hallucinations etc. However they are never meant to be a "cure". They will help a bit, possibly making one more lucid, or able to cope. But they are not the be all end all long term solution that many make them out to be. Regular psychotherapy is probably your best bet. Identify dysfunctional cognitions, and working to change them, etc.
Best bet I'd say with what you described would be if you are on meds to see a psychologist. They'll help you by providing coping strategies etc.
Now as far as your profile goes (as you were wondering whether you have a post-it on your head that says you have issues, you do not, but your profile points it out quite readily), for one, you're going incredibly specific, and I'd imagine looking almost the worst place you can. I suppose it could be likened to going to the chinese gay porn awards and looking for a single straight man over 6 feet tall who has never had sex wants to get married, is a financially independent ($$$$$$), speedo model physicist. I refer of course to your specifications down in your journal entry. I don't say this to be cruel, but be realistic. Look at your specifications. I mean really look. Where would be the right place to find someone like that? Well for starters, you're looking for christians. Not too difficult of a specification. Can find those anywhere. But a virgin between 23-35, so that cuts the field a bit. It also narrows where you should look. A bdsm site if we compiled everyone on the site, that is actually real, and whether they have had sex or not and did some basic statistical calculations on it.....well I'm going to venture an educated guess this is not where you would look for those. What I would suggest? Go to a church, and get involved with their events. You're more likely to find a devout , christian, straight male, who is a virgin (at least towards the earlier portion of the age range), and fits most of your specifications there. I'm not saying you won't find it in either place. But you go with the odds. Odds seem to be you're looking at maybe a 1% chance v a 10% (arbitrary numbers, but you get the point). This part is not really a sign of issues at all. So you're looking for something specific, but the specificness combined with where you are looking may cause people to *boggle*. Probably accounting for a portion of the messages you mentioned. But the real problem that you are probably having is simply you list them as if they are set in stone. For example what if you find someone that meets all of the specifications except one. Or most of them even. Say they aren't tall, and aren't a virgin, but are all the other things? You're probably better off explaining that. That way, while you may not find someone to those complete specifications, you may in fact find someone that works for you.
To point out where I see definitive "issue" indicators:
"a princess, or a damsel-in-distress"
Words like these have caused many a man who has had the experience of dealing with people in relationships who describe themselves thusly...to run in the opposite direction as far and fast as they can. It's a sign of someone who wants to be rescued. Someone who wants someone to fix them. Someone who wants someone else to do all the work, and just expects someone to rush in and save them from all the things that while it would be in their power to change, just won't do it themselves for whatever reason.
Truth is, no one is going to save you. White knights don't exist in a universe where everything is shades of gray. Life isn't a fairytale. Never will be. It sucks when you first realize that. But you have to nonetheless. I'm not saying love doesn't exist. It does, but it never has, and never will be easy. That's the thing about fairytales. They never deal with the nitty gritty of everyday life. There is no happily ever after. One has to make it for themselves.Because no one is going to do it for you.
Also this:
(I’ve been through quite a lot of heartache and trauma in my life so far).
Uhhh....that's a pretty fair indicator combined with the other things you say in your profile that you have baggage. Quite a bit of it. Sure everyone does, absolutely every person on the face of the earth has some. But the fact that you come out on your profile and say that, leads one to the probably correct assumption that you have not dealt very well with it and there is a considerable amount. I'd say just get rid of that line, and look into therapy to help you deal with such baggage.
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