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RE: Its going wrong... - 10/1/2007 7:50:33 PM

Kalista07

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submissfifi,
i really empathies with Your situation here.. During the first month that my potential Dom and i had gotten together we had the most horrible communication difficulty... And while i don't condone people using PMS or PMT as an excuse to justify their behaviors, i do understand what a struggle it is.. i don't have a thyroid and so that alone makes all of my emotions and hormones play wackadoo.. Add in there that during that first week i was having 'that time of the month' for the 9th week straight, and You can imagine my emotions were a little bit all over the place.. Initially, when our communication difficulty began i wanted to blame it on my out of control hormones...But then reality sat in and i had to take responsibility for what was really going on. i was scared to death. i was scared that i was going to get hurt, i was scared that i was going to screw things up, and most of all i was scared that i wasn't going to be able to pull this relationship off... The compromise that we came up with is that i'll attempt (to the best of my ability) to be open about those feelings up front and each week i'm to send him my journal..It's worked great for us...
Kalista

< Message edited by Kalista07 -- 10/1/2007 7:51:26 PM >

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RE: Its going wrong... - 10/1/2007 8:12:23 PM

onlyHisgirl

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Joined: 6/13/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: submissfifi

PMT as in Pre Menstural Tension. How you are emotionally a few days before your period and during your period? The hormonal imbalance inside you makes you react nasty, moody, weepy, angry etc. Have very little control over it, well unless you take supplements such as Starflower Oil or Evening Primrose Oil, which is not easy to find a non gelatin version of.

OMG! is that what that is?!?! i had no freakin clue that was what's wrong with me. i get high insecure and emotional...it never happened until i turned 26...i have no idea but i have that!!!! wow...okay, sorry.
i can't talk about relationships but about letting go to submitting because i used to fight like hell until i did this:
i think that you and Him need to (once the absence punishment is over) sit down to talk about how you want to give in to Him, but you think you can't....see if the two of Y/you can come up with a game plan to handle your "brattiness" which is really a defense mechanism for you.
If you are afraid to share your feelings...then write it out...i had to do that because i was afraid of rejection but i wrote how He had made me feel, how i truly respected Him but here are reasons 1, 2, 3 and what i needed Him to do about it. i also said at first i will rebel but eventually i will submit please have patience with me.
hope some this helps...i'll be thinking of you <big hug>
--oHgirl

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RE: Its going wrong... - 10/1/2007 11:58:31 PM

TakenPet

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This is one of those things you need to think about right now? If he is important to you then you need to think about whether its worth contacting him. I do get PMS or whatever, but you learn to control it and when its all too much, that is when you have to trust yourself and your Master, share it with him and talk to him about you feel. You also have to realize that "abusive" is how he perceived what happened. It doesn't necessarily mean that he is wrong, sure it might be a strong word, but understand it was probably unexpected and from his sub no less. Probably a little hurt, upset and caught off guard. Wait for the time and think about how to explain clearly what happened and maybe talk about a better way to express what you are feeling, talk to him about better ways to handle things and how to deal with what has already happened. Understand that there will still be some "hard" feelings, and it will take a little time, but for the moment if he is as important as I think he might be to you, wait it out. He might even contact you. If its worth it, dont' risk it. Take some time to think it over. If you really find that PMS/PMT or whatever you are experiencing is too much for you to handle try talkign to the doctor and getting some medication, they do have meds for that. Just a suggestion, I hope that helps a little.
Hope it all works out!

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RE: Its going wrong... - 10/2/2007 12:02:02 AM

TakenPet

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If you allow him to understand how you feel, and what is going on in your life at that time, he might be able to offer some more patience or space for you. Sorry forgot to write it in ... Trust that he understands you more than you think. Trust he has more insight into all of this than people might think. Most of all trust your heart and your instincts/gut. Just make sure you talk to him about solutions to what happened and how to better deal in the future.
Good luck!

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