D/s and pregnant hormones

D/s and pregnant hormones (Full Version)

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onmykneesb4Him -> D/s and pregnant hormones (10/1/2007 6:40:24 AM)
Sir and i recently discovered i'm pregnant- a complete surprise, BTW (we were using BC), but not unwelcome after the initial phase of being scared and in shock. i've researched a bit on-line and found that in general, it looks like physically speaking, we can do most things, as long as they are toned down a bit when necessary, like short, light bondage rather than a longer session in a weird position. Emotionally, i'm having a bit more trouble. i'm not very far along and already i'm not doing well with some of our D/s dynamics. i'm so tired i'm having trouble doing things like having lunch and dinner ready for Him at the appropriate times, and remembering to do little things for Him that i'm required to do. He's not giving me much leway here, and i'm finding it difficult. Having to sit in the corner because i forgot to get His vitamin out is frankly pissing me off right now. Before i would have tolerated it fine and most likely wouldn't even have forgotten in the first place. i'm generally very rarely punished because i want to obey Him. i've talked to Him about this a little, but it's difficult for me because i worry about topping from the bottom. i don't want to lead the relationship, but i want Him to understand where i'm at a bit more. Anyone BTDT and have any suggestions?

mnottertail -> RE: BDSM and pregnant hormones (10/1/2007 6:45:01 AM)
Write down your todo list, and notice how long it takes to do things, schedule yourself. Do not talk about these things while you are 'in' them, but divorce yourself emotionally from them first.....don't do it while the feeling is lingering, and it is not topping from the bottom-it is a necessity like the gas petal/carburetor on a car. If there is no feedback, it is as silent and useless as the tree falling in the forest with no one to hear it. You may point out, of course, that being pregnant, you may be more sensitive than usual for some time, due to the chemical wash you are receiving. Ron

onmykneesb4Him -> RE: BDSM and pregnant hormones (10/1/2007 6:49:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail Write down your todo list, and notice how long it takes to do things, schedule yourself. Do not talk about these things while you are 'in' them, but divorce yourself emotionally from them first.....don't do it while the feeling is lingering, and it is not topping from the bottom-it is a necessity like the gas petal/carburetor on a car. If there is no feedback, it is as silent and useless as the tree falling in the forest with no one to hear it. You may point out, of course, that being pregnant, you may be more sensitive than usual for some time, due to the chemical wash you are receiving. Ron i'm envisioning myself writing the scheduled to-do list and breaking it into smaller sections, and plastering sticky notes all over the house. LOL That might actually work, though.

camille65 -> RE: BDSM and pregnant hormones (10/1/2007 6:55:13 AM)
Ah yes the sticky notes [:D] . They will help you remember the details and may have the added benefit of showing him that you are trying, as well as showing him just how difficult it is for you right now. Best of luck and please don't be too hard on your emotional self. Hormones are running amuck right now.

mnottertail -> RE: BDSM and pregnant hormones (10/1/2007 7:04:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: onmykneesb4Him i'm envisioning myself writing the scheduled to-do list and breaking it into smaller sections, and plastering sticky notes all over the house. LOL That might actually work, though. This ain't fantasy, these are practical matters, kid. Do what works, and get behind it as big as possible. Ron

Celeste43 -> RE: BDSM and pregnant hormones (10/1/2007 7:06:32 AM)
In a few short months he will be your second dom, and the first one will come before him. Quite frankly, he needs to take care of his property. Has he read anything about changes in women during pregnancy? If not, he needs to. What to Expect when You're Expecting is probably the best in this. It will explain the total exhaustion, memory loss, moodiness etc and give him an idea of what is yet to come.

laurell3 -> RE: BDSM and pregnant hormones (10/1/2007 7:16:19 AM)
Congratulations! What an exciting time of your life. Do whatever the two of you need to do regardless of kink to make this as easy on you as possible and good luck! l

onmykneesb4Him -> RE: BDSM and pregnant hormones (10/1/2007 7:50:59 AM)
quote: This ain't fantasy, these are practical matters, kid. Do what works, and get behind it as big as possible. Ron Yes, Sir, the sticky notes are going up ASAP.[sm=whiteflag.gif] [:)]

onmykneesb4Him -> RE: BDSM and pregnant hormones (10/1/2007 7:58:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Celeste43 In a few short months he will be your second dom, and the first one will come before him. Quite frankly, he needs to take care of his property. Has he read anything about changes in women during pregnancy? If not, he needs to. What to Expect when You're Expecting is probably the best in this. It will explain the total exhaustion, memory loss, moodiness etc and give him an idea of what is yet to come. No He's never read anything. But He ought to know by now, as we have other UM's. Our relationship was vanilla- well, kinda vanilla- for several years. Just in the last couple years we've decided to embrace the D/s dynamic that was really already there. It was a huge relief for both of us to make it official, so to speak. It was suddenly OK for each of us to be ourselves, truly. But being pregnant with this dynamic is a lot different. This will be our last, so i don't want it to be miserable. i feel like this time He really should read things and figure out how best to c are for His property. i'll just pull out my books and offer them for Him to read. Or i could beg Him to---He loves that. LOL

onmykneesb4Him -> RE: BDSM and pregnant hormones (10/1/2007 8:00:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: camille65 Ah yes the sticky notes [:D] . They will help you remember the details and may have the added benefit of showing him that you are trying, as well as showing him just how difficult it is for you right now. Best of luck and please don't be too hard on your emotional self. Hormones are running amuck right now. Excellent point about the sticky notes. i can definitely see how that would help Him see i'm trying. And i do tend to be hard on myself, definitely harder than He is.

mnottertail -> RE: BDSM and pregnant hormones (10/1/2007 8:03:28 AM)
A woman, by simple obesiance, doth ruleth her husband. From a 13th century catholic manual on marraige.

littleone35 -> RE: BDSM and pregnant hormones (10/1/2007 11:12:47 AM)
He sould know all the hormonal changes you are going through right and if he does not shame on him since you said you have other um's . I think if you get too tired schedual a 15 min nap into you day even a short rest will do wonders. Oh btw congrats. Matt's littleone

disciplinedslave -> RE: D/s and pregnant hormones (10/1/2007 12:06:52 PM)
i am also pregnant with my Master's child and have had similar problems, though i am currently about 7 months pregnant so i a m quite a bit further than you are. in the beginning i was very tired and had a very hard time getting things done. Master noticed this and asked me what the problem was. for me that opened up the floor for me to tell him what was going on with me. we talked and i explained how i was feeling and that i was indeed trying to keep things going but that i needed him to understand that i was going to have trouble with it. after talking with him, he understood and did cut me some slack. i think that for you to ask to sit down and have a discussion with your Sir would not be topping from the bottom, it would be informing your Sir of what it is that his property needs to keep herself functioning for his use. explain to him that this is serious and important and that you are not just being lazy, you are really trying. may be even give him some books or online research to read about pregnancy. do you best to help him to understand what is going on with you. tha is all you can do, if he chooses to keep punishing you then that is his descision. i wish both of you well. and i too like the sticky note idea.[sm=biggrin.gif]

blackrabbit73 -> RE: BDSM and pregnant hormones (10/1/2007 12:10:25 PM)
Well, concratulations on your pregnancy!! our youngest daughter is 12 months now and WOW everything is different. It's funny how different Doms respond in different ways. Because 'mine' (sorry, don't want to make it sound possesive[:)]) was soooo worried and carefull and controlling during my pregnancy. This was sweet, but also sometimes a bit weird. We talked a lot and that brought us closer together. What i came to understand, was that he didn't want to do much SM-play at all with me, because due to the changes in my body he felt that he couldn't controll the whole thing. And he is such a controlfreak. What he told me all the time is that to be pregnant is to let go of all control and that it was a good experience for me. Maybe this thought would help you. So many changes are going on, you hardly know yourself. They only thing you could do is just let it al happen and let go. Well, this doesn't answer your question, i'm afraid. Just talk a lot to him, about how you feel, about what his expectations are for you. About how he feels! if you do this respectfully, he will be open for it, won't he? Don't controll, just tell how you feel and that you're insecure about your own performance when you are so tired. Maybe he will send you off to bed. Maybe he just isn't aware of what you're going through. They can't read your mind, can they? And since you tell us that you are so hard on yourself, maybe he will help you to be less hard en take some rest and take it easy on yourself. That's a way to control too you know? And..enjoy..after the first 3 months you'll probably feel a bit better. blackrabbit

JackM1 -> RE: BDSM and pregnant hormones (10/1/2007 12:30:59 PM)
generally speaking, the really strange mood swings last about as long as the morning sickness...which is really badly named(and thought to be caused by the hormone shifts, though they arent QUITE sure what specifically causes it). some women never get morning sickness, some get it bad the whole time; the same goes for those mood swings. when you get used to the hormone changes, or as they subside as the pregnancy progresses, you should start feeling more like your normal self. think of it as a very long, non-bleeding, belly swelling period. im sure i wouldnt be the first or only woman to say i become a bitch and very moody during my time of the month, and the same just about goes for pregnancy. i think the sticky notes and scheduel are a very good idea, espcially since you now have so much more on your mind than remembering your Dom's vitamins. dont be too hard on yourself if you forget a few things or are more likely to snap and be moody than when you arent pregnant; this is a huge, life changing event that should be the shining star of all of your thoughts, and your Dom needs to remember that. there might be a day when while cooking your Doms breakfast you realize that what ever it is triggers your morning sickness, there will come a day when you feel your baby kick for the first time, and you forget to clean something or another because you were so entranced by the feeling, and there will come days when you are so tired(especially in the first and third trimesters) that getting up out of a comfy chair will seem like a herculean feat. and then after pregnancy? i believe someone already mentioned that your little one will be the center of all your attention, whether you mean for them to be or not(and how can they not be when those little cheeks just beg to be kissed?) just go with the flow and alter things as they need to be; its something you will be doing VERY often in the future. congrats hun, youre gonna be a mommy!

breatheasone -> RE: D/s and pregnant hormones (10/1/2007 12:31:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: onmykneesb4Him Sir and i recently discovered i'm pregnant- a complete surprise, BTW (we were using BC), but not unwelcome after the initial phase of being scared and in shock. i've researched a bit on-line and found that in general, it looks like physically speaking, we can do most things, as long as they are toned down a bit when necessary, like short, light bondage rather than a longer session in a weird position. Emotionally, i'm having a bit more trouble. i'm not very far along and already i'm not doing well with some of our D/s dynamics. i'm so tired i'm having trouble doing things like having lunch and dinner ready for Him at the appropriate times, and remembering to do little things for Him that i'm required to do. He's not giving me much leway here, and i'm finding it difficult. Having to sit in the corner because i forgot to get His vitamin out is frankly pissing me off right now. Before i would have tolerated it fine and most likely wouldn't even have forgotten in the first place. i'm generally very rarely punished because i want to obey Him. i've talked to Him about this a little, but it's difficult for me because i worry about topping from the bottom. i don't want to lead the relationship, but i want Him to understand where i'm at a bit more. Anyone BTDT and have any suggestions? Holy Shit...how can communicating how you feel and whats going on with you be considered topping from the bottom?....and if your dom thinks it is then you may have some MUCH bigger problems hun....by the by...The HUGE hormone shift when pregnant can cause memory problems, mood swings GALORE!! and a whole host of other emotional and physical things to happen to you...being tired easily is also one of them. I cant even pathom any man would punish someone they claim to love for being tired or forgetful when shes pregnant...that just seems VERY mean and cruel to me....

onmykneesb4Him -> RE: D/s and pregnant hormones (10/2/2007 4:54:08 AM)
quote: Holy Shit...how can communicating how you feel and whats going on with you be considered topping from the bottom?....and if your dom thinks it is then you may have some MUCH bigger problems hun....by the by...The HUGE hormone shift when pregnant can cause memory problems, mood swings GALORE!! and a whole host of other emotional and physical things to happen to you...being tired easily is also one of them. I cant even pathom any man would punish someone they claim to love for being tired or forgetful when shes pregnant...that just seems VERY mean and cruel to me.... Well, honestly it's probably more me thinking i'm topping from the bottom. i worry far to much about that stuff. i don't think He's being cruel, i think i'm going to have to be much more clear about things. My tendency is to try and appear to have it all together regardless of what's going on. i can be a great martyr. LOL

onmykneesb4Him -> RE: D/s and pregnant hormones (10/2/2007 4:59:12 AM)
Thank you all for your perspectives. Sir and i will definitely be talking about this much more. It's nice to have support here, so i don't feel like i'm lazy![:D]

dvart -> RE: D/s and pregnant hormones (10/2/2007 3:43:15 PM)
I was about to start a thread on a similar subject because I have a couple of female friends with babies and I can see how demanding being a mother can be. This puts strains on every Vanilla relationship not least because of the sleep depravation. Surely the strains would be even greater in a D/s relationship ? I would have thought a master who makes a big thing about his vitamin pills being on the table is in for a big shock. Are there any female slaves who have gone through this experience ? How did it work out?

catize -> RE: D/s and pregnant hormones (10/2/2007 3:45:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: onmykneesb4Him Thank you all for your perspectives. Sir and i will definitely be talking about this much more. It's nice to have support here, so i don't feel like i'm lazy![:D] Lazy??? For gawd's sake,you are growing a baby! That alone takes tremendous amounts of energy especially in the first trimester! Take care of yourself, and good wishes to you!

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