MadameMarque
Posts: 1128
Joined: 3/19/2005
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A masochist is one who derives pleasure from suffering.
For many masochists, there must be an extra element, for suffering to be pleasurable - intent.
For example, one person might step on a thorn, and absorb the pain as pleasurable or exciting. But for most people, any masochistic pleasure would rely on someone purposely inflicting the pain - those people wouldn't enjoy accidentally stepping on the thorn, but if someone were to purposely torture their foot with the thorn, or force them to step on the thorn - or even if they forced themselves to step on it - the intentional infliction of pain, including the anticipation of the pain, would make the pain a different experience.
Usually, people use the word "masochist," to describe someone into suffering the physical sensation of pain. But masochism can also be psychological suffering. I would suggest that humiliation and discipline, can be used as forms of psychological sadomasochism, for examples.
Again, it's partly about intent, and consciously, consensually engaging in these dynamics, that determines whether it's pleasurable or just hurtful, even harmful.
The term masochist, can refer to a pathology - an unhealthy, self-destructive compulsion to suffer. It can also refer to masochism as someone purposely enduring suffering, for the pleasure it brings them. It can be difficult to draw an absolute line, separating and defining what is "healthy" and what is "unhealthy," when it comes to sadomasochism, and other kinks. But being conscious of what you're doing and making your good health and happiness priorities are good signs.
You may notice that being submissive and being masochistic are not the same thing. They most often go together, in some measure. But the two are not a package deal, despite some people's insistence that they are. As you explore your feelings, you can trust them. No one can tell you how you "should" feel or what you "should" enjoy.
...well, unless it makes you suffer and you like it - then it's your scene. But you know what I'm saying.
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