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living together and just lost interest on it? - 10/3/2007 6:50:26 AM   
boy46


Posts: 48
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		Hello, would like to know opinions about the fact (or not?) that  vanilla and lifestyle relationships go down when living together. The day by day, i know isnt a factor that improves it, but what if the thing apears at the second week of being together?.
Are men more vulnerable to it?... Is D/s relationship protecting from it if Y/you have a deep and sincere committment with the other person?...How important is in this prerception the internet aspect, you know, the way of meeting, the kind of persons you atract with your profile, etc..
;)
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RE: living together and just lost interest on it? - 10/3/2007 7:00:06 AM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		Would you mind clarifying your post? it's kinda jumbled

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Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

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RE: living together and just lost interest on it? - 10/3/2007 8:18:29 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		I too think clarification is in order but will still take a shot at it.

Obviously not all relationships whether vanilla or power exchange do not go down hill when living together. There are studies that people who shack up together do not last as long on average as people who get married though.

I think for many of the quick failures of either a vanilla or power exchange relationship is just people who have a way too far unrealistic belief in how life with another person should be. It is easy to always be in a good mood or have total concentration on another person when you are out on specific dates and doing specific things. Then all of a sudden you are living 24/7 with someone and the happiness and infatuation cannot be maintained and for some people that is a drug they want to stay high on.

I think this I want the high to always be there can especially be troubling to people who move a power exchange relationship to a more 24/7 approach as many things from both sides are no longer done for immediate enjoyment but a part of very ordinary life.

To me it is false expectations and looking for a destination rather then accepting of a journey foul people up in relationships of all types.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

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RE: living together and just lost interest on it? - 10/3/2007 10:31:43 AM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline 		Any relationship will disintegrate if the participants are not committed to nurturing and sustaining it. A good relationship truly is a "labor of love".

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RE: living together and just lost interest on it? - 10/3/2007 3:39:08 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: boy46

Hello, would like to know opinions about the fact (or not?) that  vanilla and lifestyle relationships go down when living together.


Given the rate of divorce and the fact that the majority of D/s relationships don't make it past 5 years, I'd say that's probably fairly accurate. People who aren't really compatible get together so they shouldn't be surprised when it doesn't work.

quote:

The day by day, i know isnt a factor that improves it, but what if the thing apears at the second week of being together?.


There is always going to be a period of adjustment even if people are highly compatible. I'd give it a bit more than two weeks before throwing the baby out with the bath water.


quote:

Are men more vulnerable to it?...


It's a people thing, not a gender thing.

quote:

Is D/s relationship protecting from it if Y/you have a deep and sincere committment with the other person?...


No. The odds are the same whether you're D/s, vanilla or speckled robin's egg blue.

quote:

How important is in this prerception the internet aspect, you know, the way of meeting, the kind of persons you atract with your profile, etc..
;)



If you meet someone on-line with the intention of going toes to toes one day, then nothing of online means a damn thing if the chemistry isn't there when you're face to face.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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