RE: wot no cumming ? !

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: wot no cumming ? !

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: wot no cumming ? !

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: wot no cumming ? ! - 10/3/2007 1:43:03 PM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

i thought this would happen to me, of never being able to cum. (actually i was naive and didn't know what it was at first), but now through slowly training my body i can cum when my body feels like it. So i would say just take it slowly and eventually you will be able to cum. Patience is key. My dom has told me that when my body is ready for that next step it will happen on its own. i can not force it.
Best of luck

(in reply to serisa)

Post #: 21

RE: wot no cumming ? ! - 10/3/2007 2:08:23 PM

DryFist

Posts: 3
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

How's that horseshit tastin' for you? Good? Seems you have a Dom who doesn't know diddly about your anatomy/physiology & you have bought his lack of knowledge as a plausible explanation for why you've had a hard time getting off. Nice you can cum, sometimes, now ... and, granted ... there are always psychological distractions ... a Navy bombardment, burning building, starvation, dying in the sun after a coyote dumps you in the desert, daddy put the car battery charger on your clit, etc. ... but with 4 major erogenous zones below your waist alone ... there's gotta be a very, very, very good reason why any woman can't have an orgasm IF the Dom/me cares enough to know what the hell s/he is doing. If s/he can't ... then you need to find a Dom/me who DOES know what the hell s/he is doing. If your Dom doesn't know your 4 primary erogenous zones, then he might be a redneck! "when my body is ready for that next step it will happen on its own" ... give me a fucking break! Yeah! Cuz he doesn't know what to do & he's crossing his fingers that some fairy dust will work. Good luck with that. I don't depend upon fairy dust.

quote:

ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn
i thought this would happen to me, of never being able to cum. (actually i was naive and didn't know what it was at first), but now through slowly training my body i can cum when my body feels like it. So i would say just take it slowly and eventually you will be able to cum. Patience is key. My dom has told me that when my body is ready for that next step it will happen on its own. i can not force it.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 22

RE: wot no cumming ? ! - 10/3/2007 2:12:20 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Could always be intense pressure to orgasm because of people lacking enough experience to realize that not every woman is the same sexually nor will all those supposed "special spots" work on every woman? But hey... what do I know? I'm just a woman!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to DryFist)

Post #: 23

RE: wot no cumming ? ! - 10/3/2007 4:00:22 PM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DryFist

How's that horseshit tastin' for you? Good? Seems you have a Dom who doesn't know diddly about your anatomy/physiology & you have bought his lack of knowledge as a plausible explanation for why you've had a hard time getting off. Nice you can cum, sometimes, now ... and, granted ... there are always psychological distractions ... a Navy bombardment, burning building, starvation, dying in the sun after a coyote dumps you in the desert, daddy put the car battery charger on your clit, etc. ... but with 4 major erogenous zones below your waist alone ... there's gotta be a very, very, very good reason why any woman can't have an orgasm IF the Dom/me cares enough to know what the hell s/he is doing. If s/he can't ... then you need to find a Dom/me who DOES know what the hell s/he is doing. If your Dom doesn't know your 4 primary erogenous zones, then he might be a redneck! "when my body is ready for that next step it will happen on its own" ... give me a fucking break! Yeah! Cuz he doesn't know what to do & he's crossing his fingers that some fairy dust will work. Good luck with that. I don't depend upon fairy dust.

quote:

I don't ordinarily comment on another person's post because I feel everyone is entitled to their opinion and the freedom to voice it. But this time, in all honesty and fairness to the OP, need to comment to DryFist: Please do the world a favour and crawl back under the rock you just left. Undeserved rudeness is very unbecoming.

edited to add under breath: asshole

_____________________________

There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

(in reply to DryFist)

Post #: 24

RE: wot no cumming ? ! - 10/3/2007 5:09:59 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

ok....you ask a good question and ignore the idiots here that offer insults to you or your partner.

To be honest, it could be psychological, physiological, stress or anything. Professionals are best to answer although it sounds like you are already exploring that route. I would suggest therapy, but I know finding someone to talk to about sexual issues can be difficult.

I had some sexual trauma at an early age, and although I have a very high libido, I didn't have my first orgasm until college and ironically it was during anal sex and I was not at all sober at the time. At the time I didn't know I was a submissive or that there was such a thing. It's not uncommon for some people to be able to orgasm some ways and not others. For me, the answer was merely being relaxed and having the right stimulus. I have zero problem orgasming now and in fact am horrible at orgasm control, so for me, once I was over the hurdle, I was off to the races.
Good luck to you, I hope you find the answer you seek, that must be frustrating.
l

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 10/3/2007 5:19:09 PM >

(in reply to littlebitxxx)

Post #: 25

RE: wot no cumming ? ! - 10/3/2007 5:19:31 PM

ImmoralFlame

Posts: 11
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

This is probably a stupid question, but do you stimulate your GSpot as well or only your clit? If clit doesn't work, try using your GSpot.

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 26

RE: wot no cumming ? ! - 10/3/2007 8:55:39 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

serisa, I'm sorry about the snarky reply....it was rude and I know better. I've been more than a little "off" lately and thats NO excuse, I just wanted you to know I'm sorry and I will try harder to be the person I know I am....which is usually much nicer than the one I showed you with my reply.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to serisa)

Post #: 27

RE: wot no cumming ? ! - 10/3/2007 9:37:54 PM

stillysabo

Posts: 8
Joined: 10/3/2007
Status: offline

girl was very repressed as a young person, she remembers vividly being told that play is "nasty" and did not learn to cum on her own until in her 20s, did not cum with her own hand until last year, and she is turning 46 shortly. One thing that worked for girl was to lay in the bathtub, with her genital area in the flow of the water. she had no choice at that point, she was stimulated, and no one to stop her *grins*. The flow of warm water, coupled with the complete isolation permitted in the tub was helpful and she finally managed to have her first known orgasm at around age 23. Sometimes girl was nearly drowning by the time it happened, as her butt blocked the drain LOL. girl would relax, and think of all the things that made her feel aroused, anything at all, it doesn't have to be something that you might expect. If really depraved things make you aroused, think of them - if butterflies make you aroused, think of them. girl agrees that at this point, you are contributing to your own block, from feeling stressed about it. girl recommends lots of relaxation and if that doesn't work, try getting very worked up. Energy drinks make girl very horny these days *grins* Good luck, sweetie, and don't give up if you really want it, but don't sweat it if you don't. Pleasing your Dom and Love is important, but the orgasm is all for you. Remember, you are worth it, and if you want it, you deserve it.

(in reply to serisa)

Post #: 28

RE: wot no cumming ? ! - 10/4/2007 8:16:07 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I usually have no trouble cumming. Once or twice i did and Master did we\what he usually does to get me to cum then added a little extra stimulation and i got there. Do you think you and you Master cvould try extra stimulation?

Matt's littleone

(in reply to stillysabo)

Post #: 29

RE: wot no cumming ? ! - 10/4/2007 6:08:37 PM

Hissltora

Posts: 41
Joined: 8/23/2007
Status: offline

Greetings, serisa -

i faced quite the same dilemma you in my teens and early twenties. Different reasons (childhood abuse) but the same result. i faked it all through my early relationships, but after kneeling to Sir, not acceptable!

i started by just aiming to identify good feelings with a vibrator, and what i was doing that evoked them. Gave myself a time limit to begin with, so i didn't numb the area. That honestly took me two years alone. The intense feelings, altho pleasurable, were almost painful! Then i erased the time limit and just enjoyed the feelings. After that, i added fantasy (the more intense the better) and just rode the waves. It didn't always lead to orgasm, but occasionally they popped up. After they started happening more often, i learned to orgasm with Sir in me. That took awhile too!
Recently, i learned how to orgasm with only my fingers. i'm so proud of that accomplishment!
Thinking about it now, i had an easier time orgasming while in the process of being very submissive.
Just to clarify - when i speak of orgasm, i am referring to the really pleasurable contractions in the vagina and uterus. i don't gush or anything...in fact, there isn't a perceptible change in wetness! So don't be surprised if that does (or does not) happen.

_____________________________

In love and light,
slavetora

OAOB: Sir Nick

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 30

RE: wot no cumming ? ! - 10/5/2007 6:36:53 AM

sweetcreeangel

Posts: 70
Joined: 6/3/2007
Status: offline

experiment and find out but at first touching yourself and what not just to see what you like and dont like something is bound to get you going and if not go to a doctor to see if the problem is medically

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 31

RE: wot no cumming ? ! - 10/7/2007 11:00:03 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

You've gotten some very good suggestions. If you are a masochist it might help to add some form of pain when masturbating--close pins on your nips, BenGay or toothpaste on your a-hole, toothpaste on your clit, things like that, along with some good fantacizing. Relax and enjoy

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to serisa)

Post #: 32

RE: wot no cumming ? ! - 10/8/2007 1:20:57 AM

hermione83

Posts: 393
Joined: 8/1/2007
Status: offline

I'm not going to be a lot of help here, except that since I have the problem I've thought a lot about what I do, and have done some reading. For me, direct stimulation of the clit literally hurts. I cannot stand it. It is like the worst, more torturous tickling down deep in my ear or something crazy feeling, all on that spot. It aches, and I clench my legs together, tighten my muscles and move whatever is stimulating away from it. I'm resisting the feeling instead of welcoming it. Do you ever hit that certain spot the certain way where it feels so intense you do something to stop the feeling? I've often thought that if I could stop resisting the feeling when it happens, and continue right with that painful horrible sensitive feeling on purpose, and stay open and not clenched up, I could have one. But I definitely can't - anymore than I could hold my hand on a hot stove. Maybe your partner could help you while you do it yourself, and watch your reactions to see how you respond. Maybe he could tie your legs open and use a vibrating bullet with different settings (like 7th heaven) and not let you squirm away from it? Just me totally guessing, because I have never had one either. Good luck!!

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 33

RE: wot no cumming ? ! - 10/8/2007 11:46:44 AM

Hissltora

Posts: 41
Joined: 8/23/2007
Status: offline

This is in response to serisa as well as hermione83:

i used to have a girlfriend who found direct stimulation of her clit excruciatingly pleasurable. She figured if forced to, it might make it come, but it would make her cry first! However, if she stimulated the hood of her clit with a vibe, she had delicious (and quick) orgasms without the stress.

i myself get to the 'omg that's painful get away' mode after my first orgasm, and anything continued from that point makes me beg for no more. Doesn't always work, but that is a different story altogether.

Anyhow, just wanted to suggest non-direct stim of the clit...the hood near the top, just off to the side seemed to be the best bet for my ex-girl.

_____________________________

In love and light,
slavetora

OAOB: Sir Nick

(in reply to hermione83)

Post #: 34

RE: wot no cumming ? ! - 10/8/2007 11:52:54 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I am thinking if I pop by the house with this:
http://www.contractorsdirect.com/Concrete-Tools/Concrete-Vibrator?leadsource=Y39&OVRAW=concrete%20vibrators&OVKEY=concrete%20vibrator&OVMTC=standard&OVADID=3307930522&OVKWID=30310544522
something has gotta let go, somewheres....

Ron (say no more)

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Hissltora)

Post #: 35

RE: wot no cumming ? ! - 10/8/2007 5:52:14 PM

Hissltora

Posts: 41
Joined: 8/23/2007
Status: offline

Hmmm, gotta point there, Ron.

i'll take two. One for the house, one for traveling. Think TSA would find it odd i'd have one in my suitcase?

Sorry for the (slightly) OT post, but i couldn't resist!

_____________________________

In love and light,
slavetora

OAOB: Sir Nick

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 36

RE: wot no cumming ? ! - 10/8/2007 7:38:11 PM

thornhappy

Posts: 8596
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetcreeangel

experiment and find out but at first touching yourself and what not just to see what you like and dont like something is bound to get you going and if not go to a doctor to see if the problem is medically

...And some of the medical may be "side effects of prescription medications." SSRIs (for migraines or depression) can stop you in your tracks... close but no pop, as others have said. Narcotic pain relievers can do the same (kind of like "you can hurt, or you can cum, but you cain't do both at once!). Even Ron's machine would have fits!

thornhappy

(in reply to sweetcreeangel)

Post #: 37

RE: wot no cumming ? ! - 10/8/2007 10:03:46 PM

LASub4Real

Posts: 169
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Perhaps this is a stupid question, and if so I apologize, but: Do you masturbate? If you don't, or if you never did it much, it could easily explain your sexual dysfunction - I know for a fact that some of my female American friends never did, and thus never learned what they needed to do in order to make themselves come.

Conventional wisdom... But then again, there are plenty of teenage boys who spend LOTS of time jerking there pink little peckers in their fists, and what earth shattering secrets of personal orgasmic pleasure do they uncover? That 10 years later they're still best able to cum A) When they concentrate 100% of their sexual attention on themselves and B) Still have the best orgasms between their own knuckes.

Masturbation isn't just a way to "discover" all the pleasurable secrets that are hardwired into your brain, it also does some of the "wiring" work itself as it goes along. If you're looking to uncover great revelations by playing with yourself, you'll probably find out (to no great surprise) that you enjoy playing with yourself.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 38

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: wot no cumming ? !

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.125