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MsLilac -> RE: Need ideas for session with husband (10/4/2007 7:50:00 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TNstepsout
Keep in mind that none of these things will work as real punishments if he has a fetish for any of them or views the punishments as a form of play. In fact you could end up with a very unruly sub on your hands as he acts out so he can get punished.
Instead you need to know what he really hates to do and make him do those things, or know what he really likes and take that away from him.
I agree with this. If he likes them there is no point using them as honest forms of punishment. Masochist are a pain to punish (pun intended).
I am slightly confused, are you trying to set up a play scene? Or a night to be filled with reflective metaphorical punishments? Has he actually been disobedient and need attention is these areas?
If it is the latter of the first two, and you want him to learn a lesson, I would suggest not overloading him with every ‘crime’ he has committed lately, in one night/session. What is the main area that needs addressing? If it is lateness, you need to ask yourself, was he late for a genuine reason? Was it something out of his control? You can’t punish someone for something that was out of their control. If he didn’t change the baby, could that of been cause he was doing other tasks for you? Have you given him fair warning?
Once you have asked yourself all these to your fair satisfaction, then you need to be clear on what needs addressing, and send clear messages back. But you also need to be reasonable about his ability at any given time to do something. Have you communicated your wishes and disappointment to him? And has he apologised? Did get defensive and dismissive? Or did he give genuine reasons?
Right, so sub didn’t change the diper when you asked him? I take he has continually repeated his disobedience, and had no other reasonable cause to do so? Then he needs to understand your authority, and the babies discomfort, as well as the discomfort on everybodies nasal passages - thus why it is important to change when asked. I am also going to assume that you have his consent for this kind of ‘correction’. Off the top of my head, I suggest making him sit in an enclosed space (car maybe), for a certain amount of time, with a soiled diper in the space with him so he can experience the unpleasant smell, whilst writing why he thinks it is important to change dipers regularly and promptly. He needs to feel the discomfort, so if your limits allow this, then make him sit in his own soiled pants (got to say, this is not something I would do, or ever need to do, but a suggestion if your limits allow).
But, the thing here is, if he enjoys humiliation, or toilet play, then none of this will work, and will be rewarding his behaviour. You need to keep the objective of the exercise clear, and understand him enough to know what he won’t like, and what his triggers are.
If he was late because he was distracted due to something he enjoys, stop that.
I would be more prone to investigating why he was being continually disobedient, as opposed to punishing right away.
I notice you said you stopped for a year, do you mean you stopped the D/s aspect of your relationship?
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