What's a sub to do when dom moves out of state?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

What's a sub to do when dom moves out of state?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> What's a sub to do when dom moves out of state?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

What's a sub to do when dom moves out of state? - 10/3/2007 10:47:36 PM

Amber22

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/10/2007
Status: offline

My Dom just moved to Atlanta from Orlando (where I reside.) He says he intends to return, but it's quite idefinite. His move is based on finances. I miss him terribly. I'm not released, nor do I want to be ... but has anyone had successful experiences with this situation?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: What's a sub to do when dom moves out of state? - 10/3/2007 11:32:31 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

greetings amber,

my previous dominant lived in kansas; i live in florida. it depends on the people, really...some people are really good with ldrs, others are not. after having a close-distance relationship for over a year and a half, i would hate to go back to an ldr...i could do it (and i might because He might be going to iraq again for a bit) but i wouldn't like it. we were pretty good with our ldr in my previous relationship, mainly because we talked a LOT and were each others' best friends (still are) and there were really no issues with communication or strangeness because of the distance. the good thing is that in your relationship it might be more feasible to visit each other since you are slightly closer, and flights from atl to orl are not so bad in comparison, so that will probably help.

it's possible, but the key is communication, communication, communication. good luck.

respectfully,
annabelle.

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to Amber22)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: What's a sub to do when dom moves out of state? - 10/4/2007 1:41:59 AM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

We did it the other way around, LDR to...well, He's sleeping right next to me. There have been times when we've had to consider doing this, and we made some plans for the time we would be apart. I had plans to join my local support group just for the submissive ladies, which I just haven't had the time for. And, I also had some other personal projects that I wanted to accomplish...mostly, I wanted to make a plan so that I wasn't just doing busy work and we were actually moving forward as a couple even though we were apart.

But, while you're apart...watch the same movies, read the same books...Daddy and I had a lot of fun with this when we were still LDR. An LDR can be as fun or as miserable as you make it.

Good luck! And I hope he returns soon!

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to Amber22)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: What's a sub to do when dom moves out of state? - 10/4/2007 1:49:54 AM

Einzelganger

Posts: 221
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Orlando, FL
Status: offline

My former Mistress and I were in a similar situation (she lived in the Atlanta area, I live in Orlando), but we were able to maintain a great relationship over the course of about two years; the key, as Annabelle said, is communication. Another thing that helped us were frequent visits; neither of us minded the drive at all. In the end, distance was not even a factor when we ended the relationship, so yes, I think it can work.

Best wishes,
Einzelgänger

(in reply to Amber22)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: What's a sub to do when dom moves out of state? - 10/4/2007 5:16:46 AM

cantilena

Posts: 224
Joined: 8/6/2007
Status: offline

I've been in a LDR. I have to echo the other contributors here - the success or failure may depend entirely on communication. Also, in an LDR, I think that both people need to be equally determined to make the dynamic work, recognizing that distance is an undeniable stress on the relationship that needs to be consistently overcome in creative ways.

The previous ideas of reading the same books and watching movies 'together' are imo really good examples of this.

If both people work at it, I think they can be rewarding. If not, the distance may not in and of itself cause a split - but it can definitely contribute to one.

Good luck! My only advice is to try and talk it out with him - which I'm sure you've done already.

(in reply to Amber22)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: What's a sub to do when dom moves out of state? - 10/4/2007 5:24:17 AM

SeargentDave

Posts: 21
Joined: 11/9/2005
Status: offline

My sub and I are at a point right now because of distance and other factors, where we cannot see each other for a while. I did like the idea of a sub supprt group but I also am considering a "trainer" or proxy domme, in her area to give her the rewards and discipline she needs. Any thoughts??

(in reply to Amber22)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: What's a sub to do when dom moves out of state? - 10/4/2007 6:01:30 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Amber22

My Dom just moved to Atlanta from Orlando (where I reside.) He says he intends to return, but it's quite idefinite. His move is based on finances. I miss him terribly. I'm not released, nor do I want to be ... but has anyone had successful experiences with this situation?

Valyraen and I met while in college. We had breaks apart and then he graduated and went back to his home state, hoping to get a good job. I suppose we handled it about the same way any LDR. We drove to see each other every two weeks, alternating who did the driving. He bought me a copy of Star Wars Galaxies and we had couple time online, hunting together, he would watch me dance and I would watch him kill big scary things. We could interact even though we were far away. We also talked on the phone a lot, about one hour a day. After awhile, he moved back here and in with me.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Amber22)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: What's a sub to do when dom moves out of state? - 10/4/2007 8:42:19 AM

IamJustMe2C

Posts: 94
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline

I had a sub that when we were a part we were apart for 3 to 4 months at a time then together for 2 to 3 weeks at a time. To keep the echo going the biggest key was the communication. thank god for free nights and weekends. As far as the Proxy Dom SGT Dave you are looking at FUBAR. Good thought bad idea. Support group helped her and so did friends but what helped the most is that when I did come home we spent all of our time together or as much as possiable. Why it ended was for other reasons but im happy to say it was not becauseof the LDR. She is still one of my best friends today.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: What's a sub to do when dom moves out of state? - 10/4/2007 10:54:37 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

Sir and i are long distance, and not likely to be close ever. same state, about an hour and a half apart.

we see each other as we can (right now its been a little over a month) and talk nearly daily online, and phone calls, again, when we can.

patience, and keep the connections as you can is all i can advise....

kitten

(in reply to IamJustMe2C)

Profile

Post #: 9