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General thoughts ... - 10/4/2007 7:21:11 PM   
swan7


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline 		This is not meant to offend anyone - just my own thoughts and opinions of what has been read and discussed.
 
For whatever reason, some see this style of life as a 'quickie' and only as play.  Several profiles are well written and it appears that they are not looking for just a sexual encounter - they are looking for a combination of both styles - a mixture of vanilla and BDSM; looking for a long term partner for banter, fun but all within respectful limits.   Many other profiles are obvious - sex only before you even introduce yourself. 
 
Personally, again, my own opinion - how can anyone build a friendship on just sex - where do you get to know your partner if you don't spend time together; how do you know the person you have stolen an hour with is safe or clean if you don't know their daily habits. 


Profile   Post #: 1
RE: General thoughts ... - 10/4/2007 7:24:43 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings swan,

some people are trustworthy even when they don't have someone else watching their daily habits. some people are able to trust them. doesn't work out that way for everyone, and not everyone feels safe with that. and some people can be involved in their sex partners' lives without it being an actual romantic relationship, as well.

also, for me, it's not about a mixture of "vanilla and bdsm" because there is no separation.

respectfully,
annabelle.


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RE: General thoughts ... - 10/4/2007 7:25:26 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Not everyone wants a friendship.  Some just want sex. 

(in reply to swan7)
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RE: General thoughts ... - 10/4/2007 7:28:58 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Plenty just want sex. They are no more descriminate on here, necessarily, than they would be bringing someone home from a bar.
You want something more involved, and thats fine. Not everyone wants an involvement, some want a fix. Not all even want sex, some just want the BDSM playtime without the sexual aspects at all.

Theres something for everyone, somewhere

DV


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VampiresLair

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RE: General thoughts ... - 10/4/2007 7:34:34 PM   
trappedinamuseum


Posts: 5066
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		That's what blood tests and health screenings are for.

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RE: General thoughts ... - 10/4/2007 7:35:58 PM   
shellzbythesea


Posts: 120
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Plenty just want sex. They are no more descriminate on here, necessarily, than they would be bringing someone home from a bar.
You want something more involved, and thats fine. Not everyone wants an involvement, some want a fix. Not all even want sex, some just want the BDSM playtime without the sexual aspects at all.

Theres something for everyone, somewhere

DV



i totally agree with this. 
 
But bear in mind you DO really need to "know" someone a bit before knowing what they are after.  They can tell you everything you want to hear (i.e. "I'm looking for an LTR, too) but not be.  That's the hard part. 
 
Best of luck to you in finding what you're searching for...i hope W/we all do.

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RE: General thoughts ... - 10/4/2007 7:45:22 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		You never know.

The most committed seeming people can cheat. Why do you think a relationship that begins with fun can't evolve to more? The worst train wrecks I see happening are those where the expectations are "instant commitment".

How can you do that with someone you don't know?

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RE: General thoughts ... - 10/4/2007 8:03:09 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		*shudders at the thought of instant commitment*

Sex can be a natural extension of BDSM and it seems so many people are here for the kinky sex that they must be finding each other at some point.  Kudos to them.
For me, it has to be more than sex.
Sex is too easy and Domme does not equal slut.

And for the record, I am not here for the sex.  But it is one of the perks once I find someone that shares chemistry with me.

Psy

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RE: General thoughts ... - 10/4/2007 10:09:56 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		If someone just wants sex, why would they care about building a relationship with them? 

Sometimes I just want a hot fuck or a regular play partner.  I also have a long term life partner.

If someone said they wanted a long term full life relationship with someone and THEN just had a fuck n play on weekends type deal, then you've got an issue.

If someone said they wanted a fuck n play on weekends type deal and then HAD a fuck n play on weekends type deal- what exactly is the problem?

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RE: General thoughts ... - 10/4/2007 10:14:08 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

Not everyone wants a friendship.  Some just want sex. 


I don't want friendship. I don't want sex. I just want bondage. So where do I fit in?

Akasha


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RE: General thoughts ... - 10/4/2007 10:15:48 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: swan7

Personally, again, my own opinion - how can anyone build a friendship on just sex - where do you get to know your partner if you don't spend time together; how do you know the person you have stolen an hour with is safe or clean if you don't know their daily habits.


Oh, jeeze!  About.. six years ago?.. there was this girl.. "Sally".  Sally and I had a lot of fun.  As friends.

It was.. odd.  No romantic bit beyond a.. friendly love.. some sort of odd feeling I couldn't explain.  Anyhow, I was getting increasingly into D/s at the time, and she was finding herself increasingly bisexual.  It ended with her disgust at the notion of a female being submissive to a man and her identity as a lesbian being challenged by being with a guy.

Funny, too.  She knew some secrets about me that no one else on this Earth ever had before or has since.  I doubt there are many I was so honest with or connected with so well.  Yet, when I think back to it, I regret no part of it.  Not it starting, continuing, nor ending.  It's all just.. okay.

I'm too much of a romantic to recommend that sort of thing.  But, I have to be honest, it was nice.

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RE: General thoughts ... - 10/4/2007 11:14:35 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		It's apples and oranges...one is only better than the other when it's what you're going for.

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RE: General thoughts ... - 10/5/2007 4:37:01 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		The women on here want sex. The men want respect.

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: General thoughts ... - 10/5/2007 4:49:24 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I want respect, I can get sex anytime. I didn't meet my sub here, I met him elsewhere online playing a game. We were friends for a year before anything started to develop and when it did I took it slow. You have to lay a sturdy foundation for a building to stand the test of time and that is what I have been shooting for.

Why am I here? An exchange of ideas and information. Other than that, I have no real reason to be here other than its good for a laugh sometimes.

~Lashra


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RE: General thoughts ... - 10/5/2007 5:13:27 AM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: trappedinamuseum

That's what blood tests and health screenings are for.


Which are problematic because
A: the infection that occurred during the encounter the person had the previous night may not register on the tests.
B: the infection that occurred the night after the tests will certainly not register on those tests.


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RE: General thoughts ... - 10/5/2007 5:34:16 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		My username might appear to be all about sex, but it's not.  However, I'm not looking for a pain slave or a service slave.  None the less, there needs to be a deeper connection.   It's not all about sex.

Personally, I don't have sex with anything and everything that moves.  There has to be a connection there. 

Do I expect want and crave sex, you bet I do.   Am I going to a slave for lots of sex, yes I will.  I have a very high sex drive.   I will use a slave more for sexual pleasure compare to painful acts, yes.   I am more interested in sex over having the laundry done or dinner cooked as well.   Again, I not interested in the service aspects or S&M play as much as I am the sexual.   I'm also looking for a vanilla and emotional connection though.

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RE: General thoughts ... - 10/5/2007 5:49:30 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: swan7
how can anyone build a friendship on just sex
They aren't looking for friends, they're looking for a fuckbuddy. The two are worlds apart.
quote:

where do you get to know your partner if you don't spend time together
They aren't looking to get to know anyone. They're looking to shag. One doesn't ask a whore what her name is or where she's from, right.
quote:

how do you know the person you have stolen an hour with is safe or clean if you don't know their daily habits.
Safety and cleanliness is not a concern for such people. At best, such thoughts come after the fact. You shouldn't try to apply logic to the illogical. It'll just make you look insane.

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RE: General thoughts ... - 10/5/2007 6:00:17 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

Not everyone wants a friendship.  Some just want sex. 


I don't want friendship. I don't want sex. I just want bondage. So where do I fit in?

Akasha



How about bondage in exchange for sex?  You need to find somebody who wants the same thing as you do.

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: General thoughts ... - 10/5/2007 4:08:10 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

If someone said they wanted a fuck n play on weekends type deal and then HAD a fuck n play on weekends type deal- what exactly is the problem?


I never said there was a problem with it... I have a FWB, just don't happen to need multiple FWB's so I'm not looking for sex...
For the people looking for and finding fuck n play on weekends, like I said, Kudos to them for finding what they want.

Psy

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Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: General thoughts ... - 10/5/2007 4:50:42 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord


Funny, too.  She knew some secrets about me that no one else on this Earth ever had before or has since. 


Is this the part where we get to guess what is your secret....If we are right...You have to say it.  

My guess....You are not actually a very intelligent or bright person.....You were strolling through The James River Park....And you stumbled upon a truly "magical" Magic 8 Ball, buried within the river bank....You carry it with you at all times...It is the actual  navigator of the body and brain that we know as CL.....Am I right?

< Message edited by domiguy -- 10/5/2007 4:51:40 PM >

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