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SteelofUtah -> RE: ~The Dance~ The roles we choose (10/7/2007 12:28:24 PM)
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quote:
what is with Doms and coffee? I have yet to see a lifestyle D/s relationship that doesn't involve a ritual around getting the coffee........it's such a cliche'
::Chuckles:: No there is no ritual involving coffee in my home I rarely even drink it. My point was simply an Analogy in simple form for a complex feeling.
What I was trying to say with this whole thing is that the definitions we place on a sub or slave, and Dom and Master are ours alone, most people don't agree with my view and that is fine, because my slave does and that is ALL that matters.
I chose my words in this post perhaps too haphazardly, as too may people are seeing into an actual word rather than the whole of what I have said, when I said Role I didn't mean an act as some have suggested I literally ment the role within the relationship as in most relationships one is a Nurturer and one is a hunter gatherer it is a role that one takes not always a choice but offten a decision is made to do so.
Dominant is something that I am not something that I do. Just as submissive is something that someone is not something that they do, a simple look at the definitions of the words tells you that.
My use of the cup of coffee is simply to state that *TO ME* when I am looking to identify the place of the individual I am interested in as a sub or a slave I look to see the reasons why they are doing what they do and, again to me, if they are judging thier abilities by how well they acomplish a task I am not interested I perfer to know that the Task was not as important to them as why they were doing it in the first place.
quote:
Quoted by Celeste43
Personally I prefer a man willing to teach me exactly what he wants in his coffee over one who expects me to mind read. I don't pay that close attention to whether it's one ounce of milk or just three quarters of an ounce. And if I make it too light, I prefer "less milk next time honey please" instead of him assuming I really am not a true submissive or I would have done it right the first time.
See and here is the rub for me, I taught andi what I EXPECTED from her, but I try very hard not to micromanage things like breakfast, meals, and how things are done. One morning andi woke me up after making breakfast and waited while I ate it and after the meal was through I realized she made everything I liked to eat, Sausage, soft boiled egg, two slices of toast lightly buttered, some orange slices, and a glass of water and a glass of juice. It occured to me I never told her what I wanted for breakfast that morning and asked what made her choose those items? Her answer was the sweetest words I had ever heard. "It's what you made for us on Easter Sunday, did I forget something?" to which I laughed and said "no it is exactly right, but how did you know?" she looked at me puzzled and said "why would you have made anything other than what you liked to eat when you cooked?"
This is my point. I don't want her to read my mind because I have no problem answering questions as to what I want, it's the moments in our lives when she shows that she cares enough about my happiness to try to recreate an Easter Sunday breakfast simply because she paid attention and realized I would enjoy what I naturally made for myself it showed she had been paying attention.
Does this mean I would have been angry if she brought me Oatmeal and Fruit (Which I don't care for for breakfast) Not at all the point was I saw that she had paid special attention and for that made me happier than I would have already been seeing that the girl spent the time to make me breakfast in the first place.
As Always
Steel
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