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Missing Master/Dom - 7/26/2005 6:50:49 AM

littleone35

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I was just wondering how do others handle it when their master/Dom is away and they cannot get in touch with him? I used to miss my late Master so much when he had to go away on business i did not handle it well. So how do others handle it?

littleone

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RE: Missing Master/Dom - 7/26/2005 6:54:51 AM

siamsa24

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My partner often has to go out of town.

I use the time while he is gone to catch up on my reading and to watch all the cartoons that he hates

Seriously though, I miss him terribly when he is gone. He tries to call everyday and because of the kind of work he does I am able to call him any time. I hate sleeping in the big bed all alone so I will generally sleep on the couch with one of his t-shirts. It's rough, but you can make it

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RE: Missing Master/Dom - 7/26/2005 7:54:48 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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I wonder why people can't manage at least an email or 5 minute phone call? This was pretty hard on me when the Owner first strted doing a lot of travel for his job, specially as I knew he was discussing things with his primary and his Boston sub daily but wouldn't call me at all.

And I pretty much just got over it. We had a few long tough discussions about it and he realized hwo important the connection is with me. These days he makes an effort to let me know when he is going on a trip and when he is coming back, and I have no expectations of communicating.

How to deal with it? Keep your life busy and happy as best you can. Don't allow yourself to just sit and brood.

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RE: Missing Master/Dom - 7/26/2005 8:17:09 AM

perverseangelic

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Be very very sad and fill up my time with something else.

The partner and I are invovled in medieval recreation, and because I work so much he often goes to events without me. (This means no phone/no net so no contact till he gets back)

I make sure I have lots of things to do when he goes away, and a good book on tape and a big teddy bear for sleeping with.

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RE: Missing Master/Dom - 7/26/2005 8:22:19 AM

littleone35

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i like the t shirt and teddy bear idea i wish i would have thouh of it myself would have made thigs eaiser.

littleone

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RE: Missing Master/Dom - 7/26/2005 8:34:37 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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quote:

I was just wondering how do others handle it when their master/Dom is away and they cannot get in touch with him?

this slave has a daily time of devotion where she reads our contract out loud in one of the positions Master has trained her to use. this is followed by a time of meditation that sometimes lasts from 5-30 minutes. this slave has found much comfort and a feeling of connectedness with Master during that time, and it makes the time we have to spend apart almost bearable!

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RE: Missing Master/Dom - 7/26/2005 9:36:58 AM

arryshanna

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Hi littleone;

As a slave who has been through this i can sympathise and empathise.

It is so hard to be away from my Master even though we keep in touch a lot there were times in the beginning when he couldn't due to other commitments.

You have been given some great hints i think, like catching up on reading or chores that you don't deal with a lot when Master is at home.

Do not stay closed up, call friends go for walks spend yime working out if you like that. Look into a course of yoga or ti-chi (sorry i am sure i misspelled that).

The idea is to keep busy and when Master returns be bright and wonderful, show him that you are able to be his good girl and to grow because you are capable and independent.

My Master accepts my submission and slavery as a gift and as a rite, but he also appreciates my ability to get on with life without him having to be there to fill my every moment.

Good wishes luv and keep reading here i have found much wisdom.

arry
loving slave of master Faibir

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RE: Missing Master/Dom - 7/26/2005 9:57:43 AM

wednesday

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I often write him letters. Even if I never send them. It just makes me feel like there was still time for us to "talk" that day.

I also have about 8 pillows on the bed when I'm alone so that I don't feel quite so overwhelmed by the big empty space.

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RE: Missing Master/Dom - 7/26/2005 10:52:13 AM

oceanprincess

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This is funny, because I was just about to ask the same question. My Master is out of the country, in India. He has been gone now for 2 and a half weeks, and I have 4 more weeks to go. I miss him so much. I am always sad, very sad. It's tough not having him here. He bought me a few stuffed animals before he left to cuddle with. We also have a lot of pillows on the bed and I sleep with my collar on, as always, and I surround myself with the pillows on either side of me so that I feel like I am sleeping next to him.

He usually rubs my back till I fall asleep every night also, and I have been finding that the hardest to get used to not having him around to do for me. So sleeping is something that happens if I feel tired and take a nap in the afternoons, or till I am so tired at night that I pass out. He's having more trouble sleeping than I am though, poor guy. I can't wait till he comes back, 24 more days and counting. I have a friend who emailed me a link to a clock that you can download on your desktop that counts down the days, hours, minutes, and seconds if you want it too. It is kind of cool to see that everyday, I am one day closer to seeing him again.

Also, we bought cards for each other and numbered them. We open one each week on Sunday or Monday. I sent him 10 cards, one for every week, one to open when he first got there with a picture inside of it of him and I, and 3 silly cards. Funny cards that he can open at anytime when he's having a rough day or when he's really missing me too.

Only up until a few days ago when I was online with him, and then he called me, was I able to talk to him finally without crying. I cryed one night while I was talking to him, telling him everything that was going wrong and that I was upset about. Since then, I have been fine. I even met this really nice girl, as friends, online on Craig's List.com. Meeting new friends is always cool.

ocean

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RE: Missing Master/Dom - 7/26/2005 11:09:49 AM

SweetDommes

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From the other side, it's hard on Dominants too. When we had our boy who lived in Seattle, the rule was that he was to call every day after work, if not before. When he actually followed the rule, it was good for both of us (him and me - daily contact is much more important to me than to Holly ... as long as he called at least 2-3 times a week, she was ok other than he wasn't obeying our rule). When he didn't, it was very hard on me, and really bad for him - so if he missed a day and didn't call at the normal time the second day, I'd call him.

When Holly had to go to Michigan for 6 weeks for her degree, we planned in advance. I wrote her a book - one entry for each day that she was goign to be gone. I put stickers in it (we have a thing about stickers LOL), I drew her pictures, I wrote about how much I knew I was going to miss her, and how much the cats would miss her ... anything I could think of. I also made her 3 tapes to listen to: songs that we both liked, songs that had meaningful lyrics with reguards to our relationship, and stuff like that. In the book, on the day that she was allowed to listen to the tape (the first tape could be listened to on day one, the second tape had to wait until week 2 or 3, and the last tape I sent to her so that it would get there less than a week before she left) there was an explination of every song that I put on the tape. Holly did something similar - she made a book, and because I was staying home and wouldn't have to cart it all around, she left me a present for every day as well. So I would get the book out, and the package labled for that day, and open them together. For days that were really bad, she had left some extra presents. She also called as often as she could (I sent her a package with phone cards LOL) and wrote to me.

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RE: Missing Master/Dom - 7/26/2005 3:29:57 PM

brightspot

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I miss my Domina so much right now.
When I go and spend an extended time with her
I go through a couple weeks of feeling lost and
panicky.

We talk everyday though sometimes 2 or 3 times
and we also IM and e-mail cards and to share our
feelings. Which helps to keep us close emotionally.

The best thing is when talk begins about my next visit!

*Brightspot

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RE: Missing Master/Dom - 7/26/2005 4:07:04 PM

wetsub000

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I guess on one level I'm used to it. I was a military wife for 11 years. Personally I loved the 'me' time and looked forward to my husband's going away and looked forward to him coming back. I'd schedule things to do in the away time that I liked to do and he didn't, or that we just normally didn't have time for in our daily lives.

Now I'm in a long distance relationship with a Master who lives the other side of the world and travels extensively for work. Sometimes he's somewhere he can get online every day and sometimes (like at the moment) he's spending 6 weeks where he is out of contact. This is harder, but I write emails every day. He said it's wonderful for him when he gets back online and finds them all waiting there for him, he knows what I've been up to and how my life has been. I've got used to the monologue style of writing, it's almost like a diary I suppose.

I guess I handle it because his being in my life has added something. I was on my own before I met him and I'm still on my own now, so I don't look at it as if something has been taken away from me, rather that when I hear from him or see him, then something is added.

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RE: Missing Master/Dom - 7/27/2005 7:34:08 AM

Hissweetshiv

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Master and i used to live 2500 miles apart. Other than (way too short) visits we were apart all the time for over 3 years. We talked online and/or on the phone for hours every day, and during the few times when that wasn't possible, i wrote letters every day. Some of them ended up getting mailed a week or two at a time mind you, but i wrote every day lol. He gave me a couple of His shirts to wear ( i don't wear pjs but bumming around the house clothes are great) and i bought myself a bottle of His favorite cologne to spray on the pillows when i needed to feel close. As far as keeping busy, well, i spent a lot of nights at one friend's or anothers playing cards to pass the time.

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