Submission, advice (Full Version)

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pageturned -> Submission, advice (10/6/2007 9:00:52 AM)

I'm submissive to women. I think I'm submissive. I feel submissive. I have submissive feelings.
I've dealt with submission all my life. I realized, long ago, what my feelings were, shocked and scared, I felt I was wrong, I tried to understand and rationalize them, I denied them, hid them, dreamt about them, compartmentalized them in fantasy, studied them, experimented them, compartmentalized my real life, compartmentalized the feelings as well.
A difficult path, postponing, mistakes. Now, I'm trying to live it, getting rid of the unnecessary and of the damaging.
Advice? Thank you.
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Decimus -> RE: Submission, advice (10/6/2007 9:07:40 AM)

My advice, go out and start looking for someone, slowly mention or hint that you would be interested in that sort of thing and let nature take its course.



kshearsecouple -> RE: Submission, advice (10/6/2007 11:00:48 AM)

I sugest you try your local BDSM community.  There are alot of wondeful people you can meet and get some sound advice. 



softpjOS -> RE: Submission, advice (10/6/2007 12:44:55 PM)

First, you need to understand yourself before diving into any relationship.  Read, ask questions, read some more.  I'd strongly suggest keeping a journal as you discover more about yourself and the lifestyle.  From time to time go back and read what you've written, you'll be amazed at how much clearer things will become.  If you aren't comfortable keeping a written journal, keep one in your email but do keep one. 

Find a local group and make friends that you can talk to openly.  And don't be so hard on yourself.  Being submissive isn't a bad thing :) 

pj



lateralist1 -> RE: Submission, advice (10/6/2007 1:12:53 PM)

Decide what you mean by being submissive.
ie What sort of submission do you want to give.
There are lots of kinds of submission.
Do you want to do everything your Dom/me wants you to do all the time?
Or do you mean you are a bottom who wants to be 'played' with?
Most of all be careful.
Monsters do exist.



Switchsubcouple -> RE: Submission, advice (10/6/2007 4:23:08 PM)

Yes learning yourself is very important as others have pointed out to you.  By doing that you will be able to define what it is you need, what you can offer another and what type of Dominant is best for you and who you are best for.  Reading books, joining a community are excellent ways to learn and to meet those who are just like you.  Have fun on this journey..



PsyVamp -> RE: Submission, advice (10/6/2007 6:51:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lateralist1

Decide what you mean by being submissive.
ie What sort of submission do you want to give.
There are lots of kinds of submission.
Do you want to do everything your Dom/me wants you to do all the time?
Or do you mean you are a bottom who wants to be 'played' with?
Most of all be careful.
Monsters do exist.


To the OP, this is probably the best bit of advice I've heard so far, although everyone has very valid points.
The questions asked here are similar to what I ask of potential submissives/slaves because the words are open to interpretation.
And NEVER say you have no limits... because as lateralist1 said, Monsters do exist.

Good luck in your search
~Psy



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