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Deciding On A Prospective Sub - 10/6/2007 2:39:09 PM   
GentleSeduction


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/5/2007
Status: offline 		I was looking through profiles, and one of them came up with an interesting thought. How do Mistresses come to find prospective subs?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Deciding On A Prospective Sub - 10/6/2007 2:49:56 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GentleSeduction

I was looking through profiles, and one of them came up with an interesting thought. How do Mistresses come to find prospective subs?


Depends on what you want out of the relationship.  For me, lust/attraction/curiosity about a person based on their profile is a good start, just as in real life with a potential mate for what promises to be a passionate, intimate relationship.

Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to GentleSeduction)
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RE: Deciding On A Prospective Sub - 10/6/2007 3:42:21 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		I built an image that seemed to be what I wanted...I got people in said image, found myself in the wrong place with the wrong people, no matter how hard I tried to make em right.  I then sat back and really listened to what my heart said vs. what my mind said....he just fell into my lap at that point.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to AAkasha)
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RE: Deciding On A Prospective Sub - 10/6/2007 4:01:16 PM   
kshearsecouple


Posts: 171
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		well I guess I'm still looking *chuckles*  eventually I'll (we'll) find exactally waht we are looking for it just takes time dealing through heaps of mail...If we had a closer scene I'd have better luck but alais the good old internet

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Deciding On A Prospective Sub - 10/7/2007 6:12:12 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GentleSeduction

I was looking through profiles, and one of them came up with an interesting thought. How do Mistresses come to find prospective subs?


When I'm actively looking I turn to my local community first and foremost. I'm an out person so someone with me needs to be comfortable being out at at least kink events if not in other facets of our lives.

I'll get to know someone a bit via munches or workshops then I ask them to chat more privately at a munch or afterwards. If the chat goes well, I'll hand them my card and tell them to check me out.

Then emails start to flow and we get to know each other. After about two weeks I'll point them toward my formal application and then the process gets serious and formal.

Sometimes a person will email me or approach me too but the formality of my approach after the first two weeks does not change.

I do have a tendency to ask hard questions though when folks email me especially since they are often not close enough to honestly be worth considering. Are you wealthy enough to fly back and forth between London and where I am every week for a 4 hour training session? Since I clearly say I'm not interest in online but you are why did you email me? You say you are monogamous and my profile says I am not so why did you contact me? You say you are only interested in this fetish yet I clearly demonstrate in my questions that I'm interested in adding to my household, how exactly might that work?

Frankly if someone can't take the time to figure out that we will not be compatible on even these questions I don't feel bad for asking them so directly. I honestly do not have time in my busy life to waste it on folks who are not even in the realm of possibility for me or my household.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to GentleSeduction)
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RE: Deciding On A Prospective Sub - 10/7/2007 7:52:57 AM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GentleSeduction

How do Mistresses come to find prospective subs?


Ollie, Ollie, Ox In Free.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to GentleSeduction)
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RE: Deciding On A Prospective Sub - 10/7/2007 8:52:12 AM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GentleSeduction

How do Mistresses come to find prospective subs?


With lots and lots of patience!

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to GentleSeduction)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Deciding On A Prospective Sub - 10/8/2007 1:28:23 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		If living where there is an active scene, that is My first preference, but that's not the case in this country town! So then it comes down to the internet and I now use only this site, as I've had most success with it. I worked out what I wanted and needed, based on the needs of Master and Myself. I wrote My profile and tried to describe My situation as well as what I wanted. I got a lot of male subs (which is what I initially confined My search to) who made contact but weren't consistent enough ... sooner or later they "poofed". I found others that were occasional play subs only and that suited in the interim, those have been successful. I have tried to be clear in My mind as to what characteristics of a would-be 24/7 sub are essential (eg nonsmoker, relocatable here, not a brat, teachable, wants to serve domestically, in bdsm play and sexually) and what are more negotiable (eg types of play particularly enjoyed, health and wealth status etc).

When Master and I discussed things at length and I decided to widen My profile to consider fem subs ... within a week I "netted" one! And so far so good ... while there are some personal development changes that she wants to make and I want to support ... personality-wise she fits in very well with Master and Myself. So she is staying here for increasingly lengthy periods to see how the relationship evolves.

That's how I did it ... and yes, I second Oumae who says it requires lots and lots of patience!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to Oumae)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Deciding On A Prospective Sub - 10/9/2007 5:45:58 AM   
MsVampirella


Posts: 13
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline 		 
quote:

ORIGINAL: GentleSeduction

I was looking through profiles, and one of them came up with an interesting thought. How do Mistresses come to find prospective subs?


I have been involved in this lifestyle for a little over 2 decades now.  I have also spent the last 4 yrs seeking My one and only...I am Real Life, and have specific expectations and requirements of My prospects and have placed such in My profile of that which I seek.  I attend gatherings in My local community though have been using alternative sites of later for all the good ones seem to already been taken and are hard to come by in Real life.... 
 
Using the online sites such as this one, if their approach catches My attention, I will correspond with them.  If Wwe connect and I sense their energy and intentions are real, I will then speak with them on the phone and then take it to a real life meeting after a brief time of testing them.  I ask specific questions and delve into their past history of experience.  I also will check their backgrounds before bringing them into My home as I do have a child I am responsible for and love so there are many considerations at hand for Me.
 
Such a search takes patience.  For Me, this lifestyle is NOT all about sex as many perceive it to be.  I look for those who are of sound body and mind.  I am highly intelligent and intuitive and also rely on a mirade of levels to assist Me in My search.  Time is of the essence and as I "test" the potential prospect, I pay attention to what they say, how they act, what they do.  I observe and feel.  I trust My instincts as well as My heart and mind.  I also require that My prospects be in balance with their mind body, spirit and will.  I delve into their past history of experience, I look into their upbringing and I pay attention to that which occurs for when the right one comes along, I will know. 

(in reply to GentleSeduction)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Deciding On A Prospective Sub - 10/9/2007 7:45:57 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I usually "find" them in the real world.  Even if I have happened to see them by their screen name first.  <wink>

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MsVampirella)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Deciding On A Prospective Sub - 10/9/2007 9:50:29 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

I built an image that seemed to be what I wanted...I got people in said image, found myself in the wrong place with the wrong people, no matter how hard I tried to make em right.  I then sat back and really listened to what my heart said vs. what my mind said....he just fell into my lap at that point.


This is so what happened with me.... except I need to change where you said "he" & replace it with "she"

seems that I wasn't so much ending up with the wrong person in the places ... I was neglecting to explore more than one obvious gender that "my image of what I wanted" tended to reflect


< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 10/9/2007 9:52:11 AM >

_____________________________

MstrssPassion


(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Deciding On A Prospective Sub - 10/9/2007 8:55:35 PM   
SwitchAl


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		Honourable Mistress:
I am sub by nature. I have served previously but mostly in relationships. However, I have had 2 mistresses before before which were outside of the common boyfriend - girlfriend relationship. These were ladies I got to know and then we gradually esconced ourselves into a sub-domme relationship.  I am 32, am a teacher, could lose 15 pounds, and am into feet, ass, pussy, pee, and ofcourse doing any chore to please my Mistress.
I am also a great massage boy and pedicurist and into my Mistress' toilet.


Thankfully,
Yours humbly
switchal

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Deciding On A Prospective Sub - 10/10/2007 8:58:37 AM   
TatrixdEville


Posts: 20
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SwitchAl

Honourable Mistress:
I am sub by nature. I have served previously but mostly in relationships. However, I have had 2 mistresses before before which were outside of the common boyfriend - girlfriend relationship. These were ladies I got to know and then we gradually esconced ourselves into a sub-domme relationship.  I am 32, am a teacher, could lose 15 pounds, and am into feet, ass, pussy, pee, and ofcourse doing any chore to please my Mistress.
I am also a great massage boy and pedicurist and into my Mistress' toilet.


Thankfully,
Yours humbly
switchal


Did I miss something here, or was there an ad thrown in here like We wouldn't notice? Ugh.

For Me, because I'm so very picky, it takes a while. I tend to prefer those whose relationship desires mirror or closely mirror My own.

I am different in that I look for the person first. Their submission is, naturally, vitally important, but if the person and I do not mesh, then there is little hope for a D/s relationship.

(Here's hoping that I'm clear on that)

_____________________________

"Reality is merely an illusion...albeit a rather persistent one." - Einstein

Death before dishonor. Nothing before coffee.

(in reply to SwitchAl)
Profile   Post #: 13
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