RE: Can you help me? (Full Version)

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defiantbadgirl -> RE: Can you help me? (10/7/2007 9:58:32 PM)

Wow, I didn't know updates were approved that fast. I've seen it take up to two days.



BitaTruble -> RE: Can you help me? (10/8/2007 12:57:49 AM)



edited to remove what had already been clarified. [8D]


Celeste



Maya2001 -> RE: Can you help me? (10/8/2007 1:57:09 AM)

Because of your age and lack of experience

I would suggest something like this, which is short and to the point and explains what you are interested in learning  .and which will allow you to decide if and when you are comfortable and trust  the play partner you find whether you want to  include other activities specifically with that person.   After you have gained more experience you can add more activities to your profile and or decide whether you want to upgrade to one that will include sex I want you to be aware that it  is very much okay to start off with a non sexual relationship, and if that is what you want it should be stated in your profile.

this is an example which you may find works for you


I am am new to BDSM and have no prior experience , but would like to find play partner for non sexual play    inorder to learn about certain activities such as flogging, bondage, spankings,  being used as a servant, pony or dog play[choose the activities that interest you and enter them, it does not have to be the ones I listed ] ,   must be local as I am unable to travel



DMFParadox -> RE: Can you help me? (10/8/2007 2:31:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Maya2001

Because of your age and lack of experience

I would suggest something like this, which is short and to the point and explains what you are interested in learning  .and which will allow you to decide if and when you are comfortable and trust  the play partner you find whether you want to  include other activities specifically with that person.   After you have gained more experience you can add more activities to your profile and or decide whether you want to upgrade to one that will include sex I want you to be aware that it  is very much okay to start off with a non sexual relationship, and if that is what you want it should be stated in your profile.

this is an example which you may find works for you


I am am new to BDSM and have no prior experience , but would like to find play partner for non sexual play    inorder to learn about certain activities such as flogging, bondage, spankings,  being used as a servant, pony or dog play[choose the activities that interest you and enter them, it does not have to be the ones I listed ] ,   must be local as I am unable to travel



... except that the girl clearly *does* want sexual play.  Stating otherwise is only going to filter out those who would satisfy her but respect her boundaries, leaving only the toothless and the ruthless.

Christine (I've had sooo many girlfriends with that name), what you *should* add is this: you want a man that has time, experience, patience, and enough in the way of financial resources so that being broke doesn't get in the way of the time you can spend together.  He should be ready to prove that he's healthy, attractive, within reach and has a plan for you that you'll like.  That's it.  For you, that should be enough to start with, until you have more experience in figuring out your own kinks.  Unless, of course, you already HAVE a kink or two you know about... in which case, being coy about it can only extend your suffering.  Put it out there and damn the torpedoes.

Regards, Paradox



EclipseAbove -> RE: Can you help me? (10/8/2007 3:25:47 AM)

I just looked at your profile and it looks pretty good to me - obviously its been updated.  It comes across as very honest and I certainly got a pretty good idea of what you want.  However, no matter what your profile says (the content), I think it should be presented well.  That means grammar, spelling, punctuation and word usage.  I have no problem with poor grammar, spelling, etc. in forum posts or chat rooms, but something like a profile should be mostly free of those kinds of errors because you put some thought and time into it (or at least you should have).  And if you aren't good at grammar and spelling, most word processors can help out with that.  Or perhaps you can get a friend (online or real life) to help you.  Just my $0.02.



SixFootMaster -> RE: Can you help me? (10/8/2007 5:17:11 AM)

fast reply

Looked at your profile - obviously as noted above it's been updated. My caution? You're sounding like rape-bait. You sound (and your name does indicate a young age) closer to 16 than 20, and naieve enough to accept the first Dom that smiles your way. A perfect way to get raped and abused by some of the less noble denizens of this word. My advice is to be careful, take your time, and don't rush into anything - if you're interested in a particular Dom, ask some of the more experienced regulars here if they know anything about them. Don't get too caught up in the heady euphoria of your first Dom to fall into a dangerous relationship. Learn the proper safety precautions and prepare yourself as best you can when that day does arrive.

Be safe, and be sane.



MrDiscipline44 -> RE: Can you help me? (10/8/2007 6:05:27 AM)

Flashes his pearly whites [sm=brush.gif].



willowspirit -> RE: Can you help me? (10/8/2007 6:29:25 AM)

Christine.
You are doing just fine. You are young, AND new to all this.
Don't worry about the people who say your profile is crap.  Anyone who goes out of their way to email you and insult you like that is NOT worth your angst, and is not worth worrying about. Also, some might be trying to play a head game on you, ... hoping you'll get suckered into replying to them and asking  THEM  for help. Which gets you into the headspace they wish to exploit.
You were very wise in bringing it here to the forums instead.

(I've seen worse profiles from the "dominant" side, by the way. And some of the emails I get would give an English teacher nightmares!! AND I get emails from so-called "Dominants" who beg me to tell them what I want.. and that they'll do anything I say! Me?? huh? They've GOT to be kidding!)

My advice is to RESIST playing the game.  This is not a "players' chatroom" where you are suppose to refer to yourself as "this girl", or use lower case "i" or  lower case "c" for  Christine, or try to act dumb...
Nor do you have to Capitalize every pronoun that refers to someone who just happens to label his role in all this as "Dominant". Let them prove themselves. It's okay. After you are in a relationship, you will both negotiate these little things.
Also, people are responding to your use of the word "vanilla". I think I understand what you mean. In TRUTH, much of this lifestyle  IS  VANILLA. Life goes on. Bills need to be paid. Work needs to be done. Family issues need to be dealt with. We just do it with a bit of a twist.
Vanilla -- as in don't come at me "full bore, whips flying and torture devices in hand".  I undersand.

You DO seem rather submissive in your personality. You come across as wanting to please. You take things very personally. Remember something very important though.  Though you may be submissive, you are NOT owned by anyone!  (yet)
I've replied to more than one "Dominant" (???) who got out of line,  with this statement:
"Though I am a submissive, I am not YOUR submissive."

I wouldn't go inviting people to my home if I were you. And going to theirs is hardly safe either. A LOT of time and trust needs to occur before anything like that happens. Look for some local BDSM groups. Find someone  who has nothing to gain from you  who might be your "guardian" of sorts for a while.

Be yourself. Be honest. Give yourself the freedom  and the TIME to grow.


(Snipped)
quote:

ORIGINAL: youngirl4oldrguy

Hello

Thanks for all your wonderful repleys to me, but i think iam submissive as i told people when they e-mail me that  i want vanilla first because i have had no sexual experince before, just because i posted about orgasm conrol before doesnt mean i dont play with my self.   i just seek someone to teach me i am still very new at this and i dont know how to word my profile the way someone should  i dont know how i sound demaning if i dont put my wants people complain that i dont put them so i put them and people say i sound demanding i have changed my profile so many times and got nasty e-mails saying my profile is crap, .......




DrightenPagen -> RE: Can you help me? (10/8/2007 1:53:15 PM)

I am looking for a unsubmissive, unkinky girl for power dynamics, caning, electric play, playful water boarding, Master Slave, and a few others... lol  Girl who give s crying fuck what you want...You can do anything you want.  And if those stupid know it alls think they know whats best for you, tell them to go fuck off.  As for your profile, I found it rather nice.  But I am not a nice guy and would only pollute your ass, so I am not it either.




Redoubt -> RE: Can you help me? (10/8/2007 7:11:45 PM)

Female... may be kinky... if you can talk me into it... new... young... willing to learn.

Thats all you really need if you want contacts. If you want to find someone compatible, keep messing with it til it sounds right and ignore the trolls, they'll find somewhere else to feed.



Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Can you help me? (10/8/2007 8:24:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: youngirl4oldrguy

Hello

Thanks for all your wonderful repleys to me, but i think iam submissive as i told people when they e-mail me that  i want vanilla first because i have had no sexual experince before, just because i posted about orgasm conrol before doesnt mean i dont play with my self.   i just seek someone to teach me i am still very new at this and i dont know how to word my profile the way someone should  i dont know how i sound demaning if i dont put my wants people complain that i dont put them so i put them and people say i sound demanding i have changed my profile so many times and got nasty e-mails saying my profile is crap, well i  got fed up with it just said i wanted vanilla well there are Doms on this site that are willing to start vanilla first then progress in to someone more fun lol. and the people that said i should write my profile any way i want is right ,,, iam just asking for advice iam not asking for someone to write my profile for me. i need help i really want to learn and iam very shy i wish someone could teach me what i need to know go nice and slow for me. i wish i could find someone.


Consider saying something along the lines, that you are new, not experienced and are seeking a Dom/Master that has a lot of patience.  Perhaps express seeking a Daddy Dom.  That's Dom that is nuturing and caring of his little girl (sub/slave).  This type of relationship is not centered around Age play.   It's just that the Doms have a bit of a mindset to what Daddy's have, and the sub/slave are looking for somebody to Love, Care about them, help them grow as person as well as do all the dirty Nasty kinky things with.

Also express what your interest is in terms of Maso play.  A little light pain or do you wish to becomes somebody chew toy of pain slut.

In regards to writting things such as "please read my profile first", "Don't waste my time if your this or that"... Expect to recieve responses from people that Don't read profiles, or care about your profile.  Yes, people will send you email and waste your time.  It's an evil of being on any Dating site, it's not a BDSM exclusive only.






lalbobbilynn -> RE: Can you help me? (10/8/2007 8:41:22 PM)

Dearest youngirl,
i was able to see Your old profile, as well as the updated version!!! i have not the slighest idea who You are ........ yet ...... ROCK ON!!! This new version seems far more befitting ......... candid, respectful, and to the point.
Kudos!!!

[sm=dance.gif]
Respectfully~
lalbobbilynn



MissMagnolia -> RE: Can you help me? (10/8/2007 8:49:02 PM)

Christine, I just checked your profile and it looks OK to me. You've been honest and shown that you really don't have a clue and there is nothing wrong with that. I would suggest being VERY careful about trusting anyone too soon and I would certainly not meet anyone in person alone. The same applies to us all, but in your case I'd take extra precautions. There are a lot of predatory arseholes out there and you are very sweet bait.

Don't take nasty emails to heart either. We ALL get those, D and s, so don't feel that you're alone there. Just delete and block.

Good luck.



came4U -> RE: Can you help me? (10/8/2007 8:57:29 PM)

Maybe request someone who would enjoy a 'Eliza Doolittle' situation.

Many men would appreciate the chance to help you with school work and mould a gal into being more studious while dominating you with care.



SixFootMaster -> RE: Can you help me? (10/8/2007 11:39:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Christine, I just checked your profile and it looks OK to me. You've been honest and shown that you really don't have a clue and there is nothing wrong with that. I would suggest being VERY careful about trusting anyone too soon and I would certainly not meet anyone in person alone. The same applies to us all, but in your case I'd take extra precautions. There are a lot of predatory arseholes out there and you are very sweet bait.

Don't take nasty emails to heart either. We ALL get those, D and s, so don't feel that you're alone there. Just delete and block.

Good luck.


Exactly.



Skier -> RE: Can you help me? (10/9/2007 5:49:50 AM)

Your most important priority right now is to stay in college and get a good education.  Your profile sounds fine. You might want to clarify what you mean by 'older' otherwise you're going to be getting emails from guys MY age (i.e. 60). Good luck and stay away from anyone who would attempt to draw you away from continuing your education.



serisa -> RE: Can you help me? (10/9/2007 3:00:10 PM)

i dare to disagree with Darkmike please and any others who say 'what are you doing on a BDSM site when want vanilla?'.  as far as i can see this isnt what she meant.... dont forget the om is a newbie.... she may imagine a Dom getting out the floggers on a first meeting!... i think what she means is to start she wants to get to know someone better in real life (not just online) just as any vanilla couple would.... before gradually easing into that role when she is comfortable and ready for submission.
this may not be the way for all Doms.... but i think she has the right to want this way.  i happen to think some of the best D's relationships start with a period of courtship.  and as for her 'i wants, i wants'..... i cant see thats wrong, not yet anyway, shes not a sub yet, she wants to be one.  she hasnt submitted to anyone yet, she is allowed to think about her wants, needs and desires or she simply wont find someone shes compatible with.

i think shes looking for lifestyle D's  ultimately or that is what might appear to suit her anyway and, above all the essence of it is its a relationship.  its not the same as a top and bottom who meet up now and then for play only



Alumbrado -> RE: Can you help me? (10/10/2007 12:52:28 AM)

I'm impressed that someone who started one of these 'what's wrong with..' OPs actually read the replies, clarified some of the questions asked, and apparently took some of them to heart without the usual 'everyone is picking on me' drama.
[:)]



laurell3 -> RE: Can you help me? (10/10/2007 2:44:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: InkedMaster

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne
ok my name is cindy......can we call her isabelle maybe?[;)]

My bad...lol...how bout Esther or Gertrude, perhaps Mabel ohhhhhh I know Eunice!!!



(adds being call Eunice to hard limits)



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