RE: The Alpha Dog, The Moon Goddess, and Her leash. (Full Version)

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LadyPact -> RE: The Alpha Dog, The Moon Goddess, and Her leash. (10/7/2007 7:51:52 PM)

It's not terribly unusual.  My own boy is 6'3" and over 200 lbs.  It's not the outer physical form that determines whether on is Dominant or submissive.  If that were true, My 5'2" frame wouldn't do well in becoming a submissive.
 
And, yes, I am quite fond of saying that My sub is shorter than Me..... When he is on his knees.




AllforFun -> RE: The Alpha Dog, The Moon Goddess, and Her leash. (10/7/2007 9:08:10 PM)

*chuckles* I always enjoyed such arrangements. I have known many women who enjoy having "bodyguards" who are absolutely theirs to torment. In a way I have always felt this to be an appropriate role for a male sub, though obviously its not the only one. What greater gift is there than the gift of your physical prowless to the one you serve? To allow her to shape and mold you? and give her the gift of your loyalty?

Someone asked the question," If I was of different stature, would it make a difference?" and I cant help but think, yes. I think the expectations wouldnt be so prevalent if I were not such a big man.

To Lashra,

I did the EXACT same thing including the Gorean thing, which turned out badly. I have given up on all that as that REALLY isnt me at all.




ocilla -> RE: The Alpha Dog, The Moon Goddess, and Her leash. (10/8/2007 2:00:43 AM)

This is exactly the kinda of fella and situation I seek.  As to how to handle public perseption...well, with sensitivity.  At times it can be our secret....if it will effect things that are important to us negatively...such as out ability to influence world peace or UN policy or global warming...I am exaggerating a bit to emphasize that I mean the big things...more realistically I mean our ability to have a meaningful and healthy lifestyle or to be effective in the things that we believe in....however, our power exchange and D/s dynamic being a secret does not mean that he can suddenly be a completely different person...like be uncommunicative, boss me around, be an asshole, be disrespectful, not be thoughtful, not consider me first or not check in with me so we can figure out a workaround if need be...the level of trust between us to do the right thing will help navigate challenges and eventually challenges may even cease to be. 

I love a strong fella in personality, character and in physical presence...this is a big part of what I enjoy being powerful and dominant over....my fella has to be a strong as Me in his essence for our relationship to work.  Only a really strong man can submit t a woman in my opinion.  And strength goes beyond being physically strong, strength takes lots of forms.




DMFParadox -> RE: The Alpha Dog, The Moon Goddess, and Her leash. (10/8/2007 3:24:13 AM)

This is one of the best sub ads I've ever seen.  If I were a Domme, I'd do you.  Not one single woman has called you out on crying because your situation is too awesome for you to handle, most of them are cheering that a man like you exists... and you're getting indicators of interest all over the place.

But seriously.  This is not a stereotype that should be generating any petulance from you.  It's too bloody useful when you need it, and too easily ignored when you don't.  I'm not small at 5'11"/6'0", and I usually hang around even bigger men... and if one of us wants to be a pussycat, then he usually gets love for it from the ladies and no more male-bonding crap bombs than anyone else does.  I'll tell you about Andre sometime, that man was more 'pussywhipped' than K-fed, and he was a mountain.  And he was beloved by all.  I cannot find an ounce of pity for you anywhere in my soul.

I'd really like to bust on you for writing this (more than I am), but it's working.  And I have a healthy respect for success.  If I get single again any time soon, I'd like to consult with you on writing an advertisement as effective for the male Dom population.  Then again, I'm doing ok with that... between the two of us, we could open a shop or something.  Let me finish laughing at these Dommes, though, for taking the bait.  (In the friendliest manner possible, I know this guy's prime goods for you and worth ignoring a theatrical flourish or two to flirt with.  And I appreciate your positions, I really do.  But I think it's funny as hell.)

Cheers

Edited for snark clarity... it's 6:30 am, and I've been hauling rope around since 6:30 YESTERDAY.  So a few typos and randomly conjoined sentences/words are a given. It's like being drunk, but with less pickling.  Cheers again.  ^_^




LadyHibiscus -> RE: The Alpha Dog, The Moon Goddess, and Her leash. (10/8/2007 9:39:21 AM)

Well, he is only sorta prime goods, being an infant of 22!  And what bait?  Is he mocking us with his manliness?  <le sigh>




Jasmyn -> RE: The Alpha Dog, The Moon Goddess, and Her leash. (10/8/2007 10:27:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AllforFun

I dont know how many other subbie guys there are out there with this problem, but it is a major one for me. I suppose it's society's standards, people's expectations, and my desires all colliding head on.

I am not a small man, a weak man, etc. I am the complete opposite. In almost all respects I am an alpha male. I am a natural leader among other men, I speak my mind when I feel that I must, and I dont ever take a back seat to anyone's lead. I am the type of guy that most people look at and say, "ok, lets not tangle with him." I am not bragging, its just a fact. I do not in anyway appear to be submissive.

And yet there is the call. The beck of the Moon Goddess and her leash which can tame the savage beast within. The need to be at Her feet.  I guess I have always thought of it like, "strong men need their strong women." I dont know if that makes any sense or not, but im trying to explain here.

I have had several instances when women find submissive men to be quite comical. I think society in general finds it to be comical. I dont know why, but it bothers me. It is even worse for me because everybody expects the total opposite of me( I am a big guy). I know that they are thinking, "how in the world can he accept that?!" etc.

I know I am generalizing here, but I have had several instances where this accepted standard and view of things has impacted me. I have had fem subs look at me and actually be angry at me because I was a sub and not a Dom. I am so frustrated with this that Im about to just try to ignore these desires.  

Have any of you guys had to deal with this? If so, how did you cope with it? How did you get it to just roll off your back? And to the Mistresses, have you had any subs like this and what did you do as a couple to deal with it? Do you hide it? Do you say screw the world and if you dont like it, I got this hulk sub who will bite you if I say so? lol.... Im kidding, but seriously, how did you overcome the pre-conceptions?



Day to day, others skewed views don't personally bother me ...but that doesn't mean I'm immune to having to deal with them.

Someone I knew was in a similar boat... he was *seen* as a Dominant in the scene and he was not allowed to forget it... we spoke one night about how much this had done his his head in  ... how he would have loved to have gone to a play party as the submissive but didn't feel he could do it ... I so wanted to throw him in a leash and take him for a walk down the street that night ... yum yum ... I love it when someone lets me in on their vulnerabilities ... their ultimate wants ..

It doesn't matter then if it's a man or a mouse, on the end of that leash ... it's whose in the collar that counts, not what ...

Don't let anyone persuade you from your quest ..





AllforFun -> RE: The Alpha Dog, The Moon Goddess, and Her leash. (10/8/2007 3:02:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

This is one of the best sub ads I've ever seen.  If I were a Domme, I'd do you.  Not one single woman has called you out on crying because your situation is too awesome for you to handle, most of them are cheering that a man like you exists... and you're getting indicators of interest all over the place.

But seriously.  This is not a stereotype that should be generating any petulance from you.  It's too bloody useful when you need it, and too easily ignored when you don't.  I'm not small at 5'11"/6'0", and I usually hang around even bigger men... and if one of us wants to be a pussycat, then he usually gets love for it from the ladies and no more male-bonding crap bombs than anyone else does.  I'll tell you about Andre sometime, that man was more 'pussywhipped' than K-fed, and he was a mountain.  And he was beloved by all.  I cannot find an ounce of pity for you anywhere in my soul.

I'd really like to bust on you for writing this (more than I am), but it's working.  And I have a healthy respect for success.  If I get single again any time soon, I'd like to consult with you on writing an advertisement as effective for the male Dom population.  Then again, I'm doing ok with that... between the two of us, we could open a shop or something.  Let me finish laughing at these Dommes, though, for taking the bait.  (In the friendliest manner possible, I know this guy's prime goods for you and worth ignoring a theatrical flourish or two to flirt with.  And I appreciate your positions, I really do.  But I think it's funny as hell.)

Cheers

Edited for snark clarity... it's 6:30 am, and I've been hauling rope around since 6:30 YESTERDAY.  So a few typos and randomly conjoined sentences/words are a given. It's like being drunk, but with less pickling.  Cheers again.  ^_^



ermmm... where to begin with that....quite frankly I dont know, its just too damn cynical. Your implying that I didnt start this thread because I view this as a problem, but as bait for Dommes?

That was not my intention, though I have enjoyed their opinions and flattering comments, but I was truly interested in this topic so please don't derail the thread with conspiracy theories on how Im laying traps for the Dommes. You have just made the assumption that women are just TOO sentimental and Im just some cool guy who seduces all the women, lol.

I was quite serious and the Doms are a big part of this problem as well because they perpetuate these stereotypes. The Gorean types especially cannot stand a male sub, it totally destroys their theory on "natural order" a.k.a male superiority. The only way they can explain the phenomena away is by saying that subbie guys are practically a freak of nature or "haven't learned their true place yet."





AllforFun -> RE: The Alpha Dog, The Moon Goddess, and Her leash. (10/8/2007 3:06:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Well, he is only sorta prime goods, being an infant of 22!  And what bait?  Is he mocking us with his manliness?  <le sigh>


I wasnt mocking anyone, DMF seems to think I am just a sly talker. I got news for him, Im not that good. lol.




PhoenixRed -> RE: The Alpha Dog, The Moon Goddess, and Her leash. (10/8/2007 4:19:00 PM)

Most of the males I know that enjoy being submissive are very strong, confident, dominant males in their everyday lives. Many times their jobs are very stressful, demanding, and even dangerous. These are NOT weak, sissy men. For them being submissive is a time, albeit a short period of time for most, that they don't have to make any decisions...just do as they're told and trust their Dominant. It is a VERY freeing experience for them. Going into "subspace" can also be an emotional release. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man that chooses to be submissive, either as an occasional thing or as a 24/7 relationship with their mate.  It's pretty common and accepted, hell even expected, in vanilla relationships for a female to be submissive to her mate. It should be as accepted that a man can be in the same role and enjoy it just as much. I think sometimes that people in general don't realize that the fantasies men have don't always revolve around them being macho studs with the upper hand or banging a room full of women.




Dari -> RE: The Alpha Dog, The Moon Goddess, and Her leash. (10/8/2007 4:59:06 PM)

(If this is bait, it worked - I've been lurking here a while, but I actually created an account to reply to this!)

I am perfectly capable of physically handling almost any situation.  I'm not a huge woman, but I'm not small either, and I have the right training in the right arenas.  Accosted in a dark alley, I'll be the one walking away.  That being said, there are few things I love more than to smile at my beloved pack of strong, big men who would do anything I wanted them to do, including handle any nasty business that needed handling.  Knowing that at 5'10" I'm dwarfed by most of my pack, and knowing - as we all do - that I'm the one in control?

Delicious.

I have no interest in feminine men.  But the submission of a strong man is a precious gift.




AllforFun -> RE: The Alpha Dog, The Moon Goddess, and Her leash. (10/8/2007 9:05:00 PM)

Thank you for registering and offering your opinion, it is much appreciated. [:)] 

Phoenix, right on! Just because im a man it doesnt mean my all time favorite fantasy is me pulling my brand new sports car into a topless carwash, lol. While the idea is comical, it also seems juvenile from my point of view. However, it is definately viewed as the A-typical male perspective. I dont know, maybe Im not A-typical? lol.





MsLilac -> RE: The Alpha Dog, The Moon Goddess, and Her leash. (10/9/2007 2:50:48 AM)

Taking this on face value, the ‘problem’ doesn’t lay with other peoples perception of you, it lays with you and your rather narrow definitions and perception. Humans are (generally) complex creatures with many facets that happily co-exist. You seem to assume that being submissive to a Lady would wipe out your masculinity and alpha male-ness, which is more to do with your stereotypes and is untrue.

I really don’t mean to sound condescending, but you are fairly young, and still figuring ‘things’ out. Be true to yourself, don’t define yourself by stereotypes, and the confidence within your choices should follow. You seem rather stuck on what you believe is 'A' typical.

My sub is ‘alpha male’, I admire that strength in him. He is a kick boxer, plays rugby, and does all that other typically macho stuff. He leads those around him. But he electively submits to, and hands authority over to me, and me only. This is natural to us.

My slave is stereotypically less ‘alpha male’, and not butch. But I have never seen anyone with so much strength of character, discipline, determination, ambition, or conviction. He is in no sense weak. I resent the stereotype that submissive men are deemed weak, what an utterly ridiculous concept.

Yes, some men can be leaders, but I feel the alpha male concept is a caricature of one narrow element of masculinity. It can be difficult for some men in this society if this is not what they are, but fall into the trap of believing this is some sort of ideal - that this is what defines a man. Forget about what you think society says you should be, and be what you are.

Best wishes.




AllforFun -> RE: The Alpha Dog, The Moon Goddess, and Her leash. (10/9/2007 3:23:06 AM)

Thank you for your reply MsLilac.

It' not so much that I feel that my submission would compromise my masculinity as much as I feel the external pressures from others and that is what bothers me. I have come to except my ying and yang nature. The submision and the masculinity and I have come to accept them, I had to. I have known since I was a teenager that I was a natural submissive when it comes to relations with the opposite sex, so I have had a few years to deal with this. (At first I was scared and didnt know what was happening, but that is perhaps a discussion for another time.)

I think im just going to have to suck it up and do what makes me happy. ;)




LadyPact -> RE: The Alpha Dog, The Moon Goddess, and Her leash. (10/9/2007 6:59:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AllforFun

quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

This is one of the best sub ads I've ever seen.  If I were a Domme, I'd do you.  Not one single woman has called you out on crying because your situation is too awesome for you to handle, most of them are cheering that a man like you exists... and you're getting indicators of interest all over the place.

But seriously.  This is not a stereotype that should be generating any petulance from you.  It's too bloody useful when you need it, and too easily ignored when you don't.  I'm not small at 5'11"/6'0", and I usually hang around even bigger men... and if one of us wants to be a pussycat, then he usually gets love for it from the ladies and no more male-bonding crap bombs than anyone else does.  I'll tell you about Andre sometime, that man was more 'pussywhipped' than K-fed, and he was a mountain.  And he was beloved by all.  I cannot find an ounce of pity for you anywhere in my soul.

I'd really like to bust on you for writing this (more than I am), but it's working.  And I have a healthy respect for success.  If I get single again any time soon, I'd like to consult with you on writing an advertisement as effective for the male Dom population.  Then again, I'm doing ok with that... between the two of us, we could open a shop or something.  Let me finish laughing at these Dommes, though, for taking the bait.  (In the friendliest manner possible, I know this guy's prime goods for you and worth ignoring a theatrical flourish or two to flirt with.  And I appreciate your positions, I really do.  But I think it's funny as hell.)

Cheers

Edited for snark clarity... it's 6:30 am, and I've been hauling rope around since 6:30 YESTERDAY.  So a few typos and randomly conjoined sentences/words are a given. It's like being drunk, but with less pickling.  Cheers again.  ^_^



ermmm... where to begin with that....quite frankly I dont know, its just too damn cynical. Your implying that I didnt start this thread because I view this as a problem, but as bait for Dommes?

That was not my intention, though I have enjoyed their opinions and flattering comments, but I was truly interested in this topic so please don't derail the thread with conspiracy theories on how Im laying traps for the Dommes. You have just made the assumption that women are just TOO sentimental and Im just some cool guy who seduces all the women, lol.

I was quite serious and the Doms are a big part of this problem as well because they perpetuate these stereotypes. The Gorean types especially cannot stand a male sub, it totally destroys their theory on "natural order" a.k.a male superiority. The only way they can explain the phenomena away is by saying that subbie guys are practically a freak of nature or "haven't learned their true place yet."




After reading this little part of the exchange, I had to wonder just a bit.  Has it ever occurred to anyone else out there that maybe part of the problem is that male Dominants hold just a bit of jealousy against male submissives?  Not for their position in life or whatever else is thrown into it, but for the very fact that they hold the attention of the female Dominants?  I'm not saying this is the drive behind this particular case, as the person who was quoted first specifically states that he is "not single" but what about times when they are?
 
I don't intend to hijack the thread, but it is something to think about.




MstrssPassion -> RE: The Alpha Dog, The Moon Goddess, and Her leash. (10/9/2007 7:14:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact After reading this little part of the exchange, I had to wonder just a bit.  Has it ever occurred to anyone else out there that maybe part of the problem is that male Dominants hold just a bit of jealousy against male submissives?  Not for their position in life or whatever else is thrown into it, but for the very fact that they hold the attention of the female Dominants?  I'm not saying this is the drive behind this particular case, as the person who was quoted first specifically states that he is "not single" but what about times when they are?
 
I don't intend to hijack the thread, but it is something to think about.


I believe that is very relevant to the discussion because I'm sure many of the dominant ladies on here can attest to the fact that a large number of male dominants have contacted them & not all of them call upon them speaking about their desire to have them submit nor that they have a desire to submit to them... but more along the lines of how they would like to have a dominant woman as a partner.




LadyPact -> RE: The Alpha Dog, The Moon Goddess, and Her leash. (10/9/2007 7:43:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact After reading this little part of the exchange, I had to wonder just a bit.  Has it ever occurred to anyone else out there that maybe part of the problem is that male Dominants hold just a bit of jealousy against male submissives?  Not for their position in life or whatever else is thrown into it, but for the very fact that they hold the attention of the female Dominants?  I'm not saying this is the drive behind this particular case, as the person who was quoted first specifically states that he is "not single" but what about times when they are?
 
I don't intend to hijack the thread, but it is something to think about.


I believe that is very relevant to the discussion because I'm sure many of the dominant ladies on here can attest to the fact that a large number of male dominants have contacted them & not all of them call upon them speaking about their desire to have them submit nor that they have a desire to submit to them... but more along the lines of how they would like to have a dominant woman as a partner.



Thank you for your reply on this Passion.  Since the thought was on My mind, I went ahead and posted said question on the Gorean board.  I figure what better place to get the answer.  So far, it hasn't received an overwhelming response, but I'm glad to know that I'm not the only person who thinks it might be the drive behind the thought process.




Lashra -> RE: The Alpha Dog, The Moon Goddess, and Her leash. (10/9/2007 11:50:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact After reading this little part of the exchange, I had to wonder just a bit.  Has it ever occurred to anyone else out there that maybe part of the problem is that male Dominants hold just a bit of jealousy against male submissives?  Not for their position in life or whatever else is thrown into it, but for the very fact that they hold the attention of the female Dominants?  I'm not saying this is the drive behind this particular case, as the person who was quoted first specifically states that he is "not single" but what about times when they are?
 
I don't intend to hijack the thread, but it is something to think about.


I believe that is very relevant to the discussion because I'm sure many of the dominant ladies on here can attest to the fact that a large number of male dominants have contacted them & not all of them call upon them speaking about their desire to have them submit nor that they have a desire to submit to them... but more along the lines of how they would like to have a dominant woman as a partner.


My two cents for what its worth. I have been approached by an almost equal number of Dominant males vs submissive males in my time here. Both were looking for a Dominant female partner and they as subs. I have had some femsubs tell me that they actually fear Dominant women because their partners have expressed the desire to be with one.

I guess its a case of Dominant females are a bit rare and quite a few men really would like to be with one its just many don't know how to be with that woman once he finds her.

~Lashra




AllforFun -> RE: The Alpha Dog, The Moon Goddess, and Her leash. (10/9/2007 5:37:35 PM)

*waves* you all can talk to me too! I dont bite.....really I dont, lol.

Thank you Ladypact for noticing what I was trying to point out. I think Im verbally assaulted more by male doms than by anybody else. Why? I honestly dont know as common sense says, "If you want a Domme's attention, get on your knees!" at least to me anyway.

To Lashra,

You have kind of touched on what I was saying earlier about "Strong men needing strong women." I am positive this works both ways, subs and doms desire these types of women. Why? I dont know. Personal preference I guess, I enjoy a woman who knows what she wants. [:)] 

Anyway, awesome replys! thank you!




pixelslave -> RE: The Alpha Dog, The Moon Goddess, and Her leash. (10/9/2007 11:24:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AllforFun

I dont know how many other subbie guys there are out there with this problem, but it is a major one for me. I suppose it's society's standards, people's expectations, and my desires all colliding head on.

- snip -

And yet there is the call. The beck of the Moon Goddess and her leash which can tame the savage beast within. The need to be at Her feet.  I guess I have always thought of it like, "strong men need their strong women." I dont know if that makes any sense or not, but im trying to explain here.

- snip -

Have any of you guys had to deal with this? If so, how did you cope with it? How did you get it to just roll off your back? And to the Mistresses, have you had any subs like this and what did you do as a couple to deal with it? Do you hide it? Do you say screw the world and if you dont like it, I got this hulk sub who will bite you if I say so? lol.... Im kidding, but seriously, how did you overcome the pre-conceptions?



I wanted to reply to this last night, but was too tired after a very long day.  It's only the expectations you place on yourself and at some point in time, the ones that come from your Mistress, that will matter; not to forget those that are necessary as part of getting through life.  Only maturity and introspection will eventually bring you to that realization.  In choosing to live this lifestyle, you're choosing to live one that goes against the grain of society and what I'll refer to as the "common standard".  In doing so, why should you care about that common standard?  IMO, you shouldn't, as it really no longer applies to you.  People may have expectations of you, but it's up to you to decide whether or not to accept them as your own. [&:]
 
I suspect at the root of the issue for you is shame.  Have you accepted yourself as the submissive male that you are?  Can you love that part of yourself that the common standard of society would hold in disdain??  Once you can do that, I believe you'll discover a great peace within you and enjoy being the submissive male who you are.  If you're proud of who and what you are, what does it really matter to you what others think?  To me it doesn't, but then I'm over twice your age now, which gives me a much different perspective on many things. 
 
I'll also say there's something about synergy that cannot be denied.  Two people working together toward the same goal can accomplish far more than two individuals working separately on their own.  A wise woman directing the efforts of a strong and intelligent male, can capitalize on his strengths.  Working together, they can accomplish many things; taking advantage of each other's strengths.  A good Mistress knows her weaknesses and strengths every bit as much as those of her sub.
 
You're a young man who is still learning who and what you are all about.  I'm one who's content and happy to have discovered that I can be loved for being who and what I am!  It wasn't always that way for me.  I sincerely hope it will be for you. [:D]
 
 - pixel
 
   Collared to Majik




littlesarbonn -> RE: The Alpha Dog, The Moon Goddess, and Her leash. (10/9/2007 11:37:15 PM)

For some reason people always want to lump everyone into either a dominant male disposition or a naturally submissive male disposition. It often seems like we're given the choice of the alpha male or the doormat.

I'm not a specimen of any of these types. I get along with practically everybody through a strong, friendly personality and intricate knowledge of a lot of subjects. I don't need to dominate the discussion to provide the information that moves along a situation, although I may often do so and it is most often accepted and wanted. I don't ever feel the need to sit back and wait while others decide what should be done and then naturally follow. As a societal role, I'm one of those rare negotiating types that does actually unite people together because I can find commonalities amongst opposites and opposing forces.

But when it comes to personal relationships, I'm most comfortable as an attentive submissive who works to make her as happy as possible. Such service has absolutely no connection to my base personality when it comes to dealing with the rest of the world. So the whole idea that I'm either acting in my regular demeanor or acting completely against it doesn't really resonate with me. I can lead loyal followers and follow brilliant leaders while avoiding stupid people of all capacities.




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