quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood

First and foremost, you need to make getting help for the mental issues a priority - as in, you're going to get the phone numbers you need TODAY and be on the phone with them first thing tomorrow morning while you're still in your pjs (but you can have a cup of coffee first).

You have to recognize that no one can take better care of you than you can - and you have to care enough to do so.

Second....when relationships end, vanilla, kink or otherwise, you need time to grieve what you've lost.  It's ok, and it's normal.  While it basically sucks right now, time will bring a lessening of the hurt and some perspective to the situation.   You'll move on.   You'll be able to rationally understand what worked for you in that relationship, and what didn't work for you, and utlize that to help you find someone with whom you are better suited.

The thing is - don't let your grief prevent you from getting the help that you need.  Putting it off will only emphasize the loss you feel over the end of the relationship.   While it may not seem like it right now, actually doing something that helps you take care of you will help immensely.  

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ORIGINAL: LindaLashes

More than a month ago I gave back her collar, got unleashed and found myself being a submissive without an owner. This all happened just a few days before our 1 and half year anniversary as a mistress and collared slave. In all we had known each other for two years.

The settings and reasons for our breakup were extremely difficult and had been brewing for the whole of last summer ending in me having a nervous breakdown and being presented with a simple option, break free from the poly and go home, get help.
Since then I have been struggling with a heartbreaking sorrow, missing the woman I still love deeply. We left as friends of sorts though we knew nothing would ever be the same, we would never hook up again or probably want to see each other in the nearest future.

It is so difficult at times to handle the world without being a property, without having someone to count on, someone who leads you through difficult spells on a tight leash, someone who with a loving but strict hand teaches you from a tip of a cane how to do things right and to her pleasing.

Does time help me to let go? Or do I actively have to disconnect in every way from thinking about her, what we had and what´s worse, that summer that destroyed our D/s?
I´m alway planning to get some help for the mental issues, but time always seems to run away with itself.

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

surround yourself with friends and family and support...and just fall...you're trying to rip off a bandaid a millimeter at a time...do it safely, but do it all at once...i can't tell you the specifics...only you know how...but...yea....