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Superman42280 -> Munches (7/27/2005 1:17:00 AM)
I am from Columbus, Ohio and I see they have a "Leather Fest" going on and other "munches" -- I am new to all this. I don't dress up in unusual gear, just my jeans and t-shirt, and from the outside I lead a pretty vanilla life... I am curious into looking into this if all discretion is completely guarenteed.... Can someone give me a rundown of what would happen if I attended a BDSM event? How I would go about looking for what I'm looking for? I am looking for a female slave of similair age (I'm 25). I'm not so much into bondage and caning and pain and fetish outfits persay as just someone to love, protect, care for, lead and command who would wear MY fetish outfit of just pantyhose and heels for me that I love and cook, clean, and please me. Can someone give me some direction and as much detail as they can on what goes on at these events, what to expect, and how to go about looking for what I described above with complete discretion? Thanks! Superman aka Chris

subgreg -> RE: Munches (7/27/2005 1:36:59 AM)
Go read the Beginners Guide to BDSM Munches: http://www.soj.org/articles/A%20Beginners%20Guide%20to%20BDSM%20Munches.htm

MstrssPassion -> RE: Munches (7/27/2005 5:59:19 AM)
Chris, I am not in your area, but I assume your local events are set up pretty much like events everywhere. I would refer to the links/info you did find & read through them. Most will have a section about "suggested attire". Many munches are held in public venues where they do not allow people to come dressed in fetish clothing. As to fetish events, no one is required to dress fetish, but often they will mention that wearing such adds to the ambiance of the event. Also most will have a link/email to a host or coordinator that would be happy to respond to any further questions you may have. I would suggest that you contact them early so that they can reply... the closer to the date of the event, the more involved they may be & may not be able to reply to each & every question. Now onto some of what you said in your post... quote: I am curious into looking into this if all discretion is completely guarenteed.... I am looking for a female slave of similar age (I'm 25). I'm not so much into bondage and caning and pain and fetish outfits persay as just someone to love, protect, care for, lead and command who would wear MY fetish outfit of just pantyhose and heels for me that I love and cook, clean, and please me. Guarantees?? Nothing about life & our pursuits for happiness (perfect mate) comes with a guarantee. I will tell you that for the most part that you only get what you make of it & most times that means making an effort. You are one step ahead of many though... you have clearly defined what is that you are looking for... at least right now. Your 25, & in ten years you may have a different view as to what is you want. I know that what I wanted at 25 is much different than what I wanted at 35 & I am sure by the time I reach 45, it will yet again be different. We all grow, evolve, change & learn more about ourselves & those around us everyday. This is a good thing!!! Good luck! I would go to these functions/events with an open mind more along the lines of making further discoveries of self rather than the here & now. Many people will tell you that when single & looking, it is nearly impossible to meet someone 'perfect'. This usually happens when you least expect it. MstrssPassion

Synocense -> RE: Munches (7/27/2005 6:08:53 AM)
One thing that I mention is that sometimes the BDSM clubs will specifically state that they are not a dating service, in other words, they concentrate more on the educational aspects of BDSM. Be certain to read their rules and etiquette sections carefully : ) syn

MistressFire70 -> RE: Munches (7/27/2005 7:03:16 AM)
Ok, the event, Ohio Leather Fest, you're talking about isn't a munch. It's a weekend event that has classes (often called workshops), a dungeon for public play, vendors who will be selling kink items and other fun events like auctions or dinners. The website for Ohio Leather Fest is http://ohioleatherfest.com/home.htm. You can learn much about it there. As far as discretion for OLF, in the rules, it states that the location of the event MUST be kept private. You can read all the rules here: http://ohioleatherfest.com/rules.htm A lot of people will be in leather or other kink items, but it's not a requirement. Just be neat (iron your shirt and pants, for example). If you really like vanilla clothes, wear a suit. There are those who have a suit fetish. You can certainly find what you are looking for! Do consider, though, that perhaps your new partner may have fetishes or needs that you might want to meet in order to take care of her. If she needs pain, learn to deliver it...when you see her responses, you won't be sorry you did. OLF is a great event. I know many who will be there. Unfortunately, I won't be there. I have to pick and choose the events I go to due to funding. Perhaps next year! Fire

sorriah -> RE: Munches (7/27/2005 7:21:07 AM)
Sir, Walk lightly with an open heart and mind into this munch. You may get an eyes full or even an earful, but even minor education is valuable asset. If this munch is negative, don't let it turn You from the lifestyle. This lifestyle is a wonderful one. Time is the greatest gift W/we offer to E/each O/other. Be well and God Bless

AAkasha -> RE: Munches (7/27/2005 8:32:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Superman42280 I am from Columbus, Ohio and I see they have a "Leather Fest" going on and other "munches" -- I am new to all this. I don't dress up in unusual gear, just my jeans and t-shirt, and from the outside I lead a pretty vanilla life... I am curious into looking into this if all discretion is completely guarenteed.... Can someone give me a rundown of what would happen if I attended a BDSM event? How I would go about looking for what I'm looking for? I am looking for a female slave of similair age (I'm 25). I'm not so much into bondage and caning and pain and fetish outfits persay as just someone to love, protect, care for, lead and command who would wear MY fetish outfit of just pantyhose and heels for me that I love and cook, clean, and please me. Can someone give me some direction and as much detail as they can on what goes on at these events, what to expect, and how to go about looking for what I described above with complete discretion? Thanks! Superman aka Chris There's a crossover between fetish and industrial/goth music. For people closer to your age (if you find people at the munches are older) try finding your local alternative dance clubs. Here's one in Dayton: http://www.daytonrevolution.com/ Here's a gothic event coming in September: http://gothcoming.com/ Akasha

Superman42280 -> RE: Munches (7/27/2005 8:49:21 AM)
Great - thank you all so much!

MsPurrmeow -> RE: Munches (7/27/2005 9:31:15 AM)
Dress comfortable. Be polite. Have no expectations, but Go. By all means, go to munches, as many different groups as you can find. Cast no judgements on groups according to particular personalities present at any one time. Everyone has different levels of experience, and there are occasionally those for whom nervousness looks a lot like arrogance. And GO to the LeatherFest. Go to the classes. Not only the ones on techniques, but on the deeper stuff, too. There are some great preseners going to this event. After having attended a few of the larger conventions, I cannot stress enough that you'll regret missing even one. Have NO expectations of finding your partner at a munch or event. These things are about learning. On the other hand, if/when you talk to people about what you saw or learned, it might spark some common interests in others that may not have been there before. Hint: At big events and parties, do not hesitate to let someone running the event know that you are new. People usually give you some leeway and a lot of comforting assistance if they know you are new, rather than being offended if there's a newbie faux pas from someone pretending to have it all together. Humility is your friend. Have fun!

MsPurrmeow -> RE: Munches (7/27/2005 9:35:48 AM)
One more note. Be sure to take some great clothes and get a photo from the fetish photographer. Fet photography does wonders for confidence. It doesn't have to be fetish wear, but go for something that says "You!" Being in an environment where just about anything can happen in front of a camera, and it's all good, does not happen often enough. These are folks that are accustomed to dealing with power dynamics and are usually good at helping that come through in a photo. ;-) It's all good.

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Munches (7/27/2005 9:44:02 AM)
I agree with all that has been said. I just want to reiterate that going to a munch is NOT AT ALL the same thing as going to a multi-day convention. I'd suggest starting at the munch level. But, like everyone else has said, just be yourself, be neat and composed, be curious and ask questions. It's great if you have a friend to go with, but you can always make friends there.

Kinkypupper -> RE: Munches (7/27/2005 11:16:23 AM)
Munches are for the most part a "vanilla" based event with people in normal everyday go to the store clothes. Do not expect to find and collar a slave there Just go and make acquances, Meet others talk. Just be YOU do not be someone you are not and be respectful to others. Ask questions people there will direct you in the right direction for your kink and location.

IronBear -> RE: Munches (7/27/2005 8:08:28 PM)
You are getting the best possible advice here. Just take it easy, look, listen and ask questions (you will probably need to be a tad careful and not appear as annoying) and ENJOY. Guarantees? ……. “If you are there with seat out of your pants and dead broke, its whare you want to be… The person, who wants to make changes in their life, firstly seeks the required information and then implements it. The changes will come if the seeker wants them to.” (Part of a speech I used in a motivational talk I was giving to a number of business executives some time ago., but it is so true in the most part.

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