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Keeping it in. HELP PLEASE!!! - 7/27/2005 9:52:33 AM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

Hello All,
I really need HELP!!!
Prior to finding my sub inside me this past February I had never had anal sex at all. Now of course as a sub I've given control over to my Master who claims my rear end as his property, and only his property.
What I need to know is how in the world do you keep a butt plug from falling out. Every time he uses that horrid thing I'm told if it falls out I'm in trouble. This happens every single time he uses it of course. It seems the more I try to keep it in the faster it falls out.
Can you keep one in? If the answer is yes, please tell me how as I really need to figure it out as my butt pays dearly every time I can't keep it in.
I have a nickname for my Master. It's Mr. Sting as his spankings at a medium point are very strong & when the stupid plug comes out it's really stinging to say the least.
I have been told by Dom's some subs can indeed keep them in, but I just can't figure out any earthly way to make it stay.
Your help or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

Post #: 1

RE: Keeping it in. HELP PLEASE!!! - 7/27/2005 10:00:49 AM

arryshanna

Posts: 13
Joined: 7/22/2005
Status: offline

hi there;

Well let me prefice this with the fact that i am not into humiliation, as far as the physical pressure needed to retain a plug just from the point of view of a person who has had a medical background it is possible that you are being forced to use something that is not appropriate for the type of control you have over the ring in the anus.

Some people have very good control over this muscle and some others do not, i had a friend who used something that flared a bit once inside and she said that helped.

If you like being punished for something that is not your fault well that is another thing i guess.

hope you find something that works for you (both).

arry
loving slave of Master Faibir

_____________________________

Love is always the answer, and frequently the question.
Approved by the Owner/Master of Arryshanna-Faibir

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 2

RE: Keeping it in. HELP PLEASE!!! - 7/27/2005 10:05:06 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

First, you should be using a medium or large plug, with a flared base and a knob after the small base. The smaller ones and ones without a solid base just won't stay in no matter what.

The "bloop" type toys with several knobs going up the base help hold it in place as well.

There are straps you can buy specifically made to secure the plug in, or wear underwear.

However, your anus is simply not designed to hold something IN on its own during strenuous activity or when muscular pressure is put on those areas (specially if it's lubed and it SHOULD be lubed). No matter how big the plug is, or how wide it flares inside and out, it will get shoved out if you're moving about or flexing muscles unless it's being held by clothes or a strap.

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 3

RE: Keeping it in. HELP PLEASE!!! - 7/27/2005 10:05:29 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Yeah, I guess I would want to know the shape of it, seems like it must be a fairly straight plug...................

Alum, perhaps. Exercise with doggies and straight back legs from doggies.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to arryshanna)

Post #: 4

RE: Keeping it in. HELP PLEASE!!! - 7/27/2005 10:07:18 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

if you consistantly cannot keep it in, and it is not fun for you to be punished like that for it, then your master needs to either change the rule a bit, or get a different buttplug to see if you can keep a different shape in. To continuously punish you for something that you are trying to do right but can't ... that's boardering on totally unreasonable ...

(in reply to arryshanna)

Post #: 5

RE: Keeping it in. HELP PLEASE!!! - 7/27/2005 10:34:57 AM

zuchtstute1969

Posts: 14
Joined: 4/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

It's Mr. Sting as his spankings at a medium point are very strong & when th

i agree with the group, i can't keep one in either, but you might try, a G-string to help, or duct tape. But as far as punishment, i don't agree with that, because i have the same problem, and i have a large butt plug and if it wasn't for my Master's hand on my ass and pushing back in- W/we would have had an embarrasing right in the center of Best Buys. as we walked out of the parking lot, he had his hand down my skirt to keep in it as we hustled to the car. So please if you do have that problem, then don't wear it in public...btw, after that incident my Master no longer makes me wear a butt in public ;)

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 6

RE: Keeping it in. HELP PLEASE!!! - 7/27/2005 11:49:20 AM

anopheles

Posts: 241
Joined: 6/23/2005
Status: offline

The problem is probably the lubrication, and the natural mechanics of the anus. Anal type activities usually involve a lot of lubrication, so the natural tendency is for things to slip. The rectum is designed to push, so if something starts to slip out, then the reaction of the body is to push. Buttplugs are usually tapered to the end, so there is nothing to keep that thing from shooting out once it starts to go. Furthermore, once the anus opens, the body wants to push out, so unless you're really seasoned at anal play, or you have some seriously good concentration, you're gonna fire that thing like a cannon. Bigger toys don't work with a lot of people, it just makes it very much more painful.

My suggestion would be to bring up your Master that perhaps you use toys such as those balls on a string or egg type toys. Those would be much more comfortable because he would still be able to get the enjoyment of playing with your ass, it's much easier to retain because the anus can more fully close around it, they're safe as long as it's attached to something external, and the removal of such toys would probably be excruciating drawn out to you, and excruciatingly enjoyable to him. As an added plus, you could use these type of toys in public without the situation happening that you described earlier.

(in reply to zuchtstute1969)

Post #: 7

RE: Keeping it in. HELP PLEASE!!! - 7/27/2005 1:06:55 PM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

Hello there,
Thank you to all of the responders that help me see it's just not me, but that others have had the same problem.
The plug is usually insterted only in our bedroom during our play at home.

quote:

No matter how big the plug is, or how wide it flares inside and out, it will get shoved out if you're moving about or flexing muscles unless it's being held by clothes or a strap.

I think the sensual contact we have and cumming are things that keep that plug from being able to stay in too now.

quote:

To continuously punish you for something that you are trying to do right but can't ... that's boardering on totally unreasonable ...

The punishment isn't in anger or meant to be so stingy. Like I said My Master has the gift of severe sting in his hands somehow. For him to whack me, in his mind playfully just a bit harder than he usually does in in fun, and not meant as a severe punishment, but rather a playful one. My problem is I'm not into sting much as I'm new to BDSM and have not found the desired sub space to deal with the more intense sensations.
My Master is very loving & fair.
I've begged him to take me past my limits & I use mind over matter techniques to deal with it.
In the last ten years his prior slaves/subs have been severe pain pigs, he curbs this kind of attention almost to the point we don't play hard enough as he knows I physically don't like it. I've told him I want to be able to take the harder spankings etc... as I want to be able to give him what he likes & needs too.
We have an open relationship and he says he can visit other more intense friends when he needs to let his full sadist fly.
He actually has really toned down his procedures for me as I am so new. He's also said he never wants me to become a pain pig and that he loves me just the way I am. I don't mind he sees others. I just love him so much I also want to fulfill the need he has like he fulfills me.
Through constant training I hope to be able to take the really hard whippings one day without it hurting so much. Hurt or not I still want them as I want to please him.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 8

RE: Keeping it in. HELP PLEASE!!! - 7/27/2005 1:10:48 PM

haematopoiesis

Posts: 134
Joined: 7/8/2005
From: the land of oaks
Status: offline

I would just like to add that, in addition to what people say about this being a natural response, you should be aware that it is an involuntary one. You only have control of the exterior sphincter, and even that is limited. One thing that you can do to help with that is to do kegels. An anal probe, however, goes beyond this musculature and into an area of involuntary control. No matter how much you train, the odds are that you won't be able to stop the reactions of these muscles. I only say odds are, as opposed to won't, because I've seen some people do some pretty crazy stuff with controlling their involuntary systems.

In any case, I think that the solutions that others have offered here are the most practical.

I doubt you want to go meditate for days on end on the top of some remote mountaintop ;)

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 9

RE: Keeping it in. HELP PLEASE!!! - 7/27/2005 1:16:09 PM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I doubt you want to go meditate for days on end on the top of some remote mountaintop ;)

Hello There,
LOL actually I'd love to go get away and meditate on the top of a mountain, but I don't think it would be to try to find a way to keep a butt plug in.

Thanks for the info,
sub suzanne

(in reply to haematopoiesis)

Post #: 10

RE: Keeping it in. HELP PLEASE!!! - 7/27/2005 1:29:39 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

What I need to know is how in the world do you keep a butt plug from falling out. Every time he uses that horrid thing I'm told if it falls out I'm in trouble. This happens every single time he uses it of course. It seems the more I try to keep it in the faster it falls out.

Just a thought but....have you ever considered that he is fully aware that this is an impossibility? "If you let that fall out you are going to be in mighty big trouble little one". Seems to me that would be a great reason to give you the "punishment" that you "deserve". Maybe this is all really just a part of the scene that he has already worked out in his mind.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 11

RE: Keeping it in. HELP PLEASE!!! - 7/27/2005 1:35:26 PM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Just a thought but....have you ever considered that he is fully aware that this is an impossibility? "If you let that fall out you are going to be in mighty big trouble little one". Seems to me that would be a great reason to give you the "punishment" that you "deserve". Maybe this is all really just a part of the scene that he has already worked out in his mind.

Hello There,
Actually when we were done playing last night we discussed this very thing. He insists most of the ladies he's been with in the past could indeed keep them in. I even told him I'd ask this question in here today to see what the general group had to say and will show him tonight that it's not as common to be able to keep it in as he thought. He also stated he needs no reason to spank me hard as he could any time he chooses to. Which of course is correct. Even if he came to my job during business hours, he could do anything he ever wanted to do and I wouldn't complain. I fully belong to him and I want him to do what he wants to do always. I know he loves me and I have full confidence in his ability to care for me no matter what.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 12

RE: Keeping it in. HELP PLEASE!!! - 7/27/2005 2:57:46 PM

mossy

Posts: 189
Joined: 2/21/2005
Status: offline

my very first master got me a butt plug harness for x-mas when we were together.
But in your situation this is not the solution you are seeking. i agree with Emerald the shape and size have a lot to do with this, but also what others have shared as well about, muscle control and lube.
suzanne, i have stuggled with the very same thing

,,,,so i am just going to tell you what i did, but if i get excited and my muscles push out? i'm out of luck.....and the plug is out of me!!!!!!!!!! i lube/or have the Dominant/His choice of course....me, not the plug, then only the very tip, or a bit more of the plug, and very sparingly. Due to this, we have to go more slowly maybe then others may, but it is worth it in the long run. i also found, Doc j. makes something called a red collection, for anal play. They last forever,very sturdy and the med. is pretty good size. That has rarely slipped out on me. Oh!!!!!
btw....i do not have good control anally i have a completely broken tailbone/and am not,
tiny anally, so i have had to work very hard on this, too much lube,and small plugs of the wrong shape,,,are my biggest problem. Just my thoughts, red collection, medium

Best Wishes.......hold that thought....and smile!

_____________________________

~~inner peace & mental clarity~~

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 13

RE: Keeping it in. HELP PLEASE!!! - 7/27/2005 4:33:41 PM

Hissweetshiv

Posts: 200
Joined: 6/24/2005
Status: offline

I have a medium plug, and apparently almost no control over that set of muscles, lol.
The only solutions Master and i have found that allow me to retain the plug are a pair of panties or a crotchrope... (drools) with the knots in just the right spots. I wish you luck.

(in reply to mossy)

Post #: 14

RE: Keeping it in. HELP PLEASE!!! - 7/27/2005 5:06:30 PM

comesoncommand

Posts: 78
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

i don't have much experience with butt plugs, but can sympathize with how frustrating it would feel from a submissive view point to repeatedly not be able to comply with the same command. i know as a submissive, my pain at failure and the punishment is not only the physical pain but emotionally knowing i wasn't able to follow through and complete with everything He wished.

(in reply to Hissweetshiv)

Post #: 15

RE: Keeping it in. HELP PLEASE!!! - 7/31/2005 3:21:14 AM

subD4master

Posts: 8
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline

get a bigger butt plug. My Master used a butt plug on me and it would fall out, so my Master went with a little bigger plugg and it worked.

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 16

RE: Keeping it in. HELP PLEASE!!! - 7/31/2005 6:17:32 AM

MstrHellsFury

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

although there are some things I could suggest I won't as there are a couple things you've said that send red flags up for me...first things first...you say you've never had anal sex and your rear belongs to your Master to do as he pleases...second you don't like it but do it to please him...I won't go any further than that...IMHO...and this is just my opnion here...if you are trying something new...you shouldn't be gauged by past relationships and what they could or couldn't do..you are supposed to be unique in your own right and therefore different than any before or after...also if it's something you don't like but just endure for the sake of Master...it's the wrong view that you accept..try..dislike yet continue...maybe in time if presented in the right way..slow and easy..you would have a different outlook on it ..but from what I understand from you is..that's not the case..therefore you get the result anyother from the past would get...even this you try to endure as best you can for Master...I know we all differ in this lifestyle..but I being so open with my slaves...listen to their concerns..and I make adjustments to...get what I want while still giving what I see as their needs...this is longer than I wanted it to be but as I said in the beginning..when I see a red flag going up...I see the best for a slave before the bravado of the Dom...remember this is just MHO

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 17

RE: Keeping it in. HELP PLEASE!!! - 8/1/2005 7:56:07 AM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

Hello There,
I appreciate your opinion Sir MstrHellsFury. But I don't see the red flag you suggest is present in what My Master and I are doing at all. I belong to him. Just because anal sex doesn't turn me on the fact it does turn him on makes my submission to him hotter for me. I want to satisfy all my Masters needs and desires of what he finds sexy, as a good sub it's my duty to service him the way he likes it. If playing with my ass makes him happy I'm glad for his desire for me and his attentions my way. He's a good loving, compassionate, sensitive and caring Master. It doesn't hurt me; I just think oh well here we go again. Often knowing I'm really not into anal sex he usually mixes his attention with a flavor of something I do like like spankings, nipple torture, going down on me bondage etc....

Thanks for the warning, but your concern for me is unfounded.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)

Post #: 18

RE: Keeping it in. HELP PLEASE!!! - 8/1/2005 12:33:51 PM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

Maybe instead of everyone suggesting bigger, or different shaped plugs, we should consider exercise. The video "Buns of Steel", comes to mind. Tighten those buns, tighten that ass, yes for $19.99 a day and 20 minutes of exercise, you too can hold a butt plug in place while running errands around the house.

I think they throw in Abs of Steel too, but fuck the that, I'm not plugging anyone's belly button.

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 19

RE: Keeping it in. HELP PLEASE!!! - 8/1/2005 2:35:09 PM

MstrHellsFury

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

sub suzanne/plantlady64 sorry I don't know you well enough to call you what you wish to be called...as it is..you've explained better what it is you derive from these encounters and I'm glad you set my mind at ease on this issue...since this is a open forum and we all see things differently...misinturptations of a post are the casualities of war...again thank you for the clairification and I hope we don't butt heads again...or should I just put a plug in it and shut up now...(smile)

Fury

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 20

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