asking a sub to go on vacation to get better acquainted

asking a sub to go on vacation to get better acquainted (Full Version)

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mistressaries -> asking a sub to go on vacation to get better acquainted (10/7/2007 11:14:29 PM)
hello to any who read this. I realize that this may be taken the wrong way by many on this site as it seems that some are very critical, but I have a question. We are planning a trip to the Caribbean and would like to have a submissive that would be willing to join us for this trip. I am not looking for just a week of pleasures with no contact after the trip. I am looking for someone that would be interested in using the time to get to know my husband and I better (would have to feel comfortable before the trip) and with luck it would lead to a longer term commitment. So far on this site I have not found any females that are truly single and willing to have a conversation in person. Yes I know I have not been on this site for long but trust me I have had accounts on many sites and it seems to be the same on all. OK....my question.....would it be considered pushy of me to be blunt and from the start inform women that I am interested in that I would like them to consider joining us if we hit it off? I am not generally someone that would push for this sort of thing but as we have to book rooms I don't want to wait too long and miss the chance to have a week with someone special. Welcome your opinions, and thank you for any responses. And if I have offended someone, I am sorry.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: asking a sub to go on vacation to get better acquainted (10/7/2007 11:21:41 PM)
I think that offering to have them accompany you, but allowing them (or even insisting on their having) their own room might not be a bad idea. It is neutral territory, after all. However, you do have to understand that it is quite a daunting idea to be required to spend that amount of time and money on a getting to know you vacation. It is one thing to know someone beforehand and use a vacation as a bonding time (no pun intended) but unless you are planning on covering the entire expense of the trip, that is a lot to ask of someone. It might be impossible for some to manage, even if they have the interest in becoming yours. You have to accept that being blunt about your desire might be offputting to many especially if the trip is considered a necessity and not simply a perk to be considered. My 2 cents DV

goodpet -> RE: asking a sub to go on vacation to get better acquainted (10/8/2007 7:07:08 AM)
If there is time to get to know each other before the tirp and both you and she can offer references and contacts then why not? I would not go with a vacation for a first meeting idea, (nice fantasy) but after a few meetings, some time together, and talking to others who know her (or know you for her to talk with), then go for it. Good Luck

toservez -> RE: asking a sub to go on vacation to get better acquainted (10/8/2007 9:01:15 AM)
Personally as a way to get to know the person first it seems a little too much. One, if you have not gotten to know them that well in the first place meeting them probably the first time on a cruise just is not a very realistic atmosphere to get to know someone. Second, I would think a cruise would be too pressured. I would feel trapped. Third, cruises cost money and expecting another to go on a cruise to meet you is too much and certainly you paying for the cruise I would think you would be asking to get ripped off by an insincere person.

girlteacher -> RE: asking a sub to go on vacation to get better acquainted (10/8/2007 10:24:18 AM)
I would consider having separate cabin rooms and have the subbie bring a friend. I would definitely meet a few times first on land. quote: Subscribe Printable Version All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive/Slave >> asking a sub to go on vacation to get better acquainted Page: [1] function submitForm(){ try {updateRTE('body1'); return true;} catch(e){}; } Login

Celeste43 -> RE: asking a sub to go on vacation to get better acquainted (10/8/2007 11:58:26 AM)
Cart before the horse here. Vacationing with others is very stressful, everything from who likes to eat what, where and when and including all possible activities. What if you're a tennis fanatic and she lives for shopping? You want to sleep on a lounge and she wants to jet ski. These kinds of basic compatibilities should be known long in advance before you go away together. The other thing is that if you've offering to pay her way, are you really going to be pleasant if she announces she couldn't see herself doing as much as kissing you, forget about anything further. No sensible woman would risk that.

mistressaries -> RE: asking a sub to go on vacation to get better acquainted (10/8/2007 12:28:24 PM)
ok...thank you for your responses but maybe I should clarify some things. First off I would be willing to HELP pay for some of the trip costs for the right person. That said I would not want this to be a "first meet" situation. I am hoping that should I discover the elusive single female submissive, that we would have some time for getting to know each other some before hand and would be able to use this trip to find out more about our compatibility for a long term situation. I have not made any set plans as to cruise or resort as of yet and would certainly ask for the subs preferences in making the choice and for the excursion while there. Tastes vary widely and I know that there would be some things that would not be first choice in activities but given that there are many options to choose from I wouldn't think we would have trouble finding things that all parties would find fun to do. My biggest concern is that I don't want it to be an overwhelming amount of things to throw at someone in the initial stages. Would most subs find this too much or would it be something that could be looked at as fun chance to relax without the daily life pressures interfering with a time of discovery? Again, thank you for the opinions already given and I hope to get more. MissA

AFlyInYourWeb -> RE: asking a sub to go on vacation to get better acquainted (10/8/2007 12:34:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistressaries We are planning a trip to the Caribbean and would like to have a submissive that would be willing to join us for this trip. There are some fantasies that are best left on the drawing board. IMHO, this is one of them. I tried this myself about twenty years ago. She and I had exactly two face-to-face meetings before going to Mexico together. The trip was a disaster, and we never dated each other afterwards. Placing a deadline on intimacy is a bad idea in general. Intimacy is something that has to simmer at its own pace. If you rush it, you kill it.

toservez -> RE: asking a sub to go on vacation to get better acquainted (10/8/2007 12:48:53 PM)
It just depends on the timing and expectations of such a trip. Personally it still would be dicey for two reasons. If it is still in the early or know each other reasonably but not yet developed reality based strong feelings that a cruise would still be very high pressured. Second, and to me the main point, a cruise is not a good place to get to know people in their true way. I think it is very important that people see us for what we are all about as soon as possible. No matter what we believe all of us put on a mask/best behavior with people we want to like us. I think a cruise would do little to help all of you remove these masks. Look at it this way if a person in regular world were going out for a month and the person ask you to go on a cruise what would you do? If the relationship has been good and light with the hope of getting serious and they were not expecting anything to happen but share something fun then most would consider it. If though this person has gotten way too serious before you felt the same way and wanted to do this most of us would get scared and say no way. To me one of the biggest issues in finding another is to consciously slow down the pace/desire to get to the finish line. To me the risk a cruise too soon would be more about pushing the relationship artificially then letting true compatibility and time do their job. That being said of course my Master and I went on a great cruise together that really moved our relationship forward a great deal. We though had been together for four months and had already been with each other a lot.

littleone35 -> RE: asking a sub to go on vacation to get better acquainted (10/9/2007 7:08:30 AM)
I would not do this. It does not seem like a good idea. If you want them to come with you i think you should cover ALL the expenses for the trip. I still think meeting and being with someone should be on home turf that way if things go south they can go home. Matt's littleone

crouchingtigress -> RE: asking a sub to go on vacation to get better acquainted (10/9/2007 8:02:02 AM)
i think its a great idea...providing she had her own room and there was zero expectations.

LordVelvet -> RE: asking a sub to go on vacation to get better acquainted (10/9/2007 11:02:26 AM)
I think that it is fine , since it is what you want. It will just take a while to find someone who meets your requirements. That isn't to say that she isn't out there. I don't think that you should have to pay the whole thing as she is gaining something to and having a nice trip. Just My thoughts. LordVelvet

LaTigresse -> RE: asking a sub to go on vacation to get better acquainted (10/9/2007 11:12:10 AM)
I am just sitting here thinking "Wow, free trip to the caribbean and zero expections............Sign me up!!!"

lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: asking a sub to go on vacation to get better acquainted (10/9/2007 12:05:19 PM)
I have to agress with DV on this quote]ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire I think that offering to have them accompany you, but allowing them (or even insisting on their having) their own room might not be a bad idea. It is neutral territory, after all. However, you do have to understand that it is quite a daunting idea to be required to spend that amount of time and money on a getting to know you vacation. It is one thing to know someone beforehand and use a vacation as a bonding time (no pun intended) but unless you are planning on covering the entire expense of the trip, that is a lot to ask of someone. It might be impossible for some to manage, even if they have the interest in becoming yours. You have to accept that being blunt about your desire might be offputting to many especially if the trip is considered a necessity and not simply a perk to be considered. My 2 cents DV [/quote]

arayofsunshine55 -> RE: asking a sub to go on vacation to get better acquainted (10/9/2007 12:42:56 PM)
Does she really need to be "truly single? You might find more interested without that caveat.

mistressaries -> RE: asking a sub to go on vacation to get better acquainted (10/9/2007 4:39:20 PM)
Sunshine...what I was refering to by truly single was free. I have not found that many femsubs on here that do not have a Master/Dom in there lives already. I know that they are on here...just seems that they don't fall in my travel area. Oh well, I know the special lady is out there and will enter my life when the time is right. Have had the good futune to find 2 for a short time so I know I will connect with "her" someday when it's right. The trip would not be required...just an offer if she would like to come along.....and she would have her own room unless she opted not too. It would be totally up to her comfort level. JUST AN OFFER!!!!!

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