chellekitty
Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
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while Merc and beth were attending Folsom Fringe and Folsom Street Fair i was at Beyond Vanilla....and though i have mentioned it in numerous places across the boards, i think i am finally ready to put my thoughts together in one place....
i'll spare you the boring parts including a 6 hour car ride with my parents and grandmother (i should have taken a tranquallizer or 3 - not for me....lol) and the unintentional attempt to cut off my toe monday morning after in the hotel lobby...that was nonconsensual blood play...and try and stick to the highlights....
friday night...first puppy mosh pit ever...and omg...even though it was a bit dangerous for this kitty, i held my own...and apparently some young pup bitches don't know that kitty's have claws cause while they had a 5 way tug going with Vi Johnson's canine's toy, i saw my opportunity and pounced on the toy and the bitch started growling at me and biting at me...and well kittens have claws...they retracted when her trainer called her back and i just sat there all dignified like nothing had happened...but omg...cosmo took the toy and ran while we scuffled...sneaky bastard....but shortly after that i had to get out of the pup mosh pit for that night (more later though)
and then i headed down to the karaoke bar to sing and smoke inside...and i'll admit, i didn't do the safest thing, after the bar closed, i played with a man i met in the bar, in his hotel room who was also attending the convention...(i later, after the fact, got references on him - and they were excellent, but a little late) And we went back to his room and there was a little spanking and a nipple biting and cock sucking and whole lot of squirting...but through out all of it he talked (side note: i LOVE his voice)...and it was wonderful...he tore down every preconceived notion i had, because he was able to convince me that, that whatever he said I was - was fucking hot to him, and when I agreed with him, i could see how hot he got, just from the look in his eyes..
the other thing was this amazing skill he had - the ability to see when i was pulling back...not just being coy or cute or sexy...and to refocus my energy to his...it was just amazing and awesome and just...wow....
so umm yea, in summary...i am glad i could stop feeding myself sugar coated bullshit on this topic...i don't know if this seems small to anyone else...but this is huge to me...its a psychological wall that i hit at 100mph every time anyone else ever got close, shut down, i became non-human and not worthy of life...and it took hours if not days to recover....and he got me through it...and i was happy and satisfied and whole when i left....in 45 minutes he changed my life...
and then the next morning...i got up...got my leg branded...which i was finally able to relate to another sensation...after the first 3 strokes...approximately 12 seconds of branding with an electro cautery pen (this one was battery operated, not disposable) the endorphins were going good and the pain input signals were so screwy that it felt, to me, just like a cutting done with a scapel, which i have had done...with absolutely no heat sensation...which is interesting because from what i have been told, that is what it feels like from the top side too...
and i just spent the whole rest of the weekend talking to people from various walks of bdsm and leather lifestyles...lots of animal people...puppies and kitties, a couple of wolves, one fox and one snake....i found it interesting though that i am much more at home surrounded by gay leather men and leather dykes than hetro's at any given moment....someone suggested that it is because the gay leathermen thrive on order and rules....i don't know?
oh and my second puppy mosh pit? i think the most interesting part was when one of the wolves challenged someone who injured him the day before after i left...and then he got bumped on his injury and all those stupid tame pups tried to comfort him and were nuzzling that wild wolf and licking him trying to make him feel better, and i could hear him making this noise that said, get the fuck away, and i did, and all i could think was....are they crazy?...they are gonna get eaten...its very interesting to be able to be an animal and watch animal interactions at the same time....i recomend it to anyone at anytime lol...but not something a whole lot of people can achieve...
sunday night, i got to spend about an hour and a half with Vi Johnson in her hotel room...we talked about lots of things....but the one thing i will never forget was when she draped a piece of leather that was about 10 feet long and 1 foot wide, covered with run pins that no longer fit on her vest, and her vest was covered...over my shoulder...and she shared her history with me...it was a heavy, powerful responsibility....a responsibility i am honored to carry....there are few people in this world that i think could speak for everyone...i think she's humble enough to do it...and wise enough not to...if only i could download her experience, strength and hope....
sorry...there were no cameras allowed, so all you voyuers will have to go unsatisfied from my thread....
chelle...
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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer
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my total immersion weekend - 
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