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OwnedShylah -> Your first time being punished/punishing (10/8/2007 11:19:58 AM)
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To all the subs/slaves out there, what was it like for you the first time you were punished by your Dom?
To all the Doms/Dommes out there, what was it like for you the first time that yu punished your sub/slave?
Shylah
Most of the punishments that I have received have been ether verbal... This is what you did wrong, don't do it again. Or written, just a short page on why what I did was wrong.
There was one instance when I CHOSE to be physically punished for a disrespectful act.
I don't want to go into to much detail on what I had done, because it involves another submissive. But after the incident occurred (I was about 3 months into my training at the time)I didn't know what to do and I kept it from Arawn. I kept the incident from him for 3 more months, I was unsure of how to bring it up to him and, still being very new to D/s, I didn't know what he would do.
Eventually he heard about a similar situation involving the same sub and another person.
We were talking through IM, he was at work,and he asked me if something like the situation he had just heard about had ever happened with me and the other sub.
I thought for a moment... started to tear up, because I didn't know what was going to happen, and slowly started to type everything out.
It took a moment for him to respond.
I knew he was very up set.
I started to cry and had this sick feeling in my stomach. I had disappointed him. I hadn't been a good girl... these were the thoughts that were going through my head as I waited for him to respond...
I knew I had fucked up by not telling him.
I knew that lying was the ultimate infraction and I would be released (kicked out) if I had lied. I'm not a good liar, so I just let the whole truth come out... but keeping something like this from him wasn't much better.
He told me to wait till he got home and we would talk.
The rest of that day, until about 7pm I was on edge and anxious. I did my best to clean and make the house perfect before Arawn got home.
When he got home he sat me down and I confessed everything to him again. I couldn't stop crying... the sick feeling wouldn't go away. He just sat there and listened.
Finally he said, "You will receive a punishment. I need time to think about it..."
I left the room to wait.
Eventually he sat me down again and gave me the first part of my assignment, and apology letter to him. I finished it that night.
Then there were more apologies to be written over the next 3 days, Arawn was not the only one effected by what I had done.
During the three days he had sat me down and given me 3 options for my end punishment. 1. Probation, meaning I couldn't lie or keep anything from him for a period of time or else I would be released immediately. 2. I don't quite remember, I think it was a month of public service... picking up trash for an hour a day or something... And 3. Three full strokes with a ritan cane, no warm up.
The first two were out of the question for me because they would take a month to compleat... I didn't feel like I could go a month of being reminded that I had done something so wrong.
I CHOSE three cane strokes.
On the after noon of the third day Arawn brought me into his room. I stripped down to my panties and he explaied to me what was going to happen.
Then he asked if I was ready.
When I told him I was ready, I bent over the message table that he had set up and he waited for me to ask for the first stroke.
It took a long time. I was crying, I had never felt a cane before, and there was fear of what it would feel like.
Eventually I asked for it and the stinging stroke slammed into the back of my thigh. My knees buckled and I had to steady my self. The I asked for the second, which feel just below the first, then the third which was just about the first.
I turned around and feel into Arawns arms, happy that it was all over. He kissed the top of my head and basically carried me over to my kappa(a big pillow we call a safe spot) which was on the floor next to him.
I didn't look up at him, just rested my head on his lap, but I could tell that he was crying... the only other time that I've know or seen him cry was when his dog died.
I had allowed his girlfried at the time to watch, I looked over at her and she was crying as well.
She told me latter that she could feel how hard it was for him to do each stroke.
He didn't enjoy it.
I think he would have rather I'd chosen one of the other options.
He wasn't angry when he did it. I think that was part of the reason we waited the three days.
After the punishment was over the sick feeling went away. I trusted him more after that then I had before.
That was the first and only time I had ever received a physical punishment from Arawn. He did not do it out of anger and he laied out what would happen and how.
I felt closer to him then ever.
I knew that he would not be angry with me when he punished me, which was a first. As a child I knew that when I was spanked for being bad my parents were angry when they did it. Anger makes me afraid.
I have no fear of Arawn. I know that he will never act towards me out of anger.
I respect him for that and I love him for that
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