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Halloween Story~ - 10/8/2007 7:14:24 PM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline
Halloween Story

A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party.

He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem.

A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note, which says:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he writes the company another nasty letter of complaint. The next day he gets a small parcel and a note, which reads:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts. Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten
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RE: Halloween Story~ - 10/8/2007 7:22:55 PM   
sundownhawk


Posts: 151
Joined: 8/17/2007
Status: offline
Creative problem solving at its best

_____________________________

The number one job of the dominant is to continually seduce consent from the bottom. ~Joseph W. Bean~

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RE: Halloween Story~ - 10/8/2007 7:36:41 PM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline
i, myself was born missing my left arm, so one year i went as Captain Hook and won first prize...

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

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RE: Halloween Story~ - 10/8/2007 8:35:02 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline
{giggles} American thinking at its best. {giggles}

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

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RE: Halloween Story~ - 10/9/2007 3:25:16 PM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline
As dawn seeps into November the first, a pair of cops stationed outside a bar see, standing half way down the alley, a guy with his trousers round his ankles. They step out the car to do the whole "you not got a bathroom at yours?" Schtick, when the find he's not urinating, but up to his nuts in a jack'o'lantern. They nudge each other and smile, amused watching this guy hammering away, completely oblivious to their presence.
The guy gives out a little moan, and goes slack. The first officer calls out, "Excuse me sir, but is that pumpkin a concenting party?"
at which point, the guy looks down and says...


"Shit! It's midnight already?

_____________________________

Lets roleplay - I'll get the D20s
"Freud was...sorry if this is an over-generalisation...A coke addled kiddy-fiddler" Alan Moore
"A Lady must always remember her station in life - and be prepared to change at Acton Town"

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