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Mentor????? - 10/10/2007 8:14:54 PM   
b4u


Posts: 9
Joined: 9/1/2007
Status: offline 		A young man is wishing a mentor as he is new to the lifestyle and very dominant.  How does one go about finding such a person?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Mentor????? - 10/10/2007 8:26:32 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		I went to munches, read books, engulfed myself in information, put some actual abstract thought into understanding things, and used my common sense to try and figure out up from down.

While I was doing that, asking questions, and giving a few opinions, all the people I would label as a "mentor" came to me. They werent simply John and Jane Does, but people who had significant and impressive reputations and history in the public scene for being "good teachers".

If he has a sincere desire to learn, open mindness, and is a decent guy, then the people who are worth learning from will approach him as he makes himself known.

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RE: Mentor????? - 10/10/2007 8:27:11 PM   
SixFootMaster


Posts: 829
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: b4u

A young man is wishing a mentor as he is new to the lifestyle and very dominant.  How does one go about finding such a person?


I wouldn't recommend it, from my own bad experiences in that regard. He is better off doing the research himself, first, and identifying what works and feels natural for him. It's a lot harder to 'un-learn' bad practices or practices you dont agree with, than it is to learn them in the first place, and usually theres the accompanying misinformation.

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RE: Mentor????? - 10/10/2007 8:28:02 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Don't find one person....view everyone as a mentor. Take it all in, balance it with common sense, make informed decisions, don't let your hormones make your choices for you and you'll be just fine.

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RE: Mentor????? - 10/10/2007 8:37:05 PM   
iammachine


Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline 		The same way you meet anyone, by networking and making friends. Some friends have a penchant for sharing their experience and are good for answering questions. :)

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RE: Mentor????? - 10/10/2007 11:24:09 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		mad rabbit nailed it.

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RE: Mentor????? - 10/11/2007 7:02:47 AM   
DocRudy


Posts: 153
Joined: 9/19/2007
Status: offline 		The advice offered already has been solid, though might I suggest an alternate method, if only for variety's sake?

A valuable experience IMO is to actually suck up your dominant side and take up a sub role to a dom/me or two for a period of time.

There's no better way to understand what your sub is going through.

-DR

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Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Mentor????? - 10/11/2007 9:57:46 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear SixFootMaster, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
Although I will not disagree that there are some very bad mentors/teachers in the scene, I must say that to take a general broad brush stroke as to paint all mentors/teachers in the scene is not fair to those who have yet to do any harm and have helped a good many people.
 
Everybody, indirectly and or indirectly-- teaches.  Watching others, asking others 'how to do' and a variety of means of gathering information and skills, must be considered.  It is up to those who are learning to make their own judgments on what is right/wrong for them. 
 
I am sorry that you have had a bad experience with a mentor and or mentors. 
 
Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to SixFootMaster)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Mentor????? - 10/11/2007 11:13:31 PM   
SixFootMaster


Posts: 829
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Dear SixFootMaster, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
Although I will not disagree that there are some very bad mentors/teachers in the scene, I must say that to take a general broad brush stroke as to paint all mentors/teachers in the scene is not fair to those who have yet to do any harm and have helped a good many people.
 
Everybody, indirectly and or indirectly-- teaches.  Watching others, asking others 'how to do' and a variety of means of gathering information and skills, must be considered.  It is up to those who are learning to make their own judgments on what is right/wrong for them. 
 
I am sorry that you have had a bad experience with a mentor and or mentors. 
 
Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs


I'm merely saying that it is far better for a person to take an enlightened approach to finding their own path, and what is right and works for them. Mentoring is more in the manner of understudy than a peer who responds to questions, and that - in my opinion - is wrong.

(in reply to LadyHugs)
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RE: Mentor????? - 10/11/2007 11:16:04 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DocRudy

The advice offered already has been solid, though might I suggest an alternate method, if only for variety's sake?

A valuable experience IMO is to actually suck up your dominant side and take up a sub role to a dom/me or two for a period of time.

There's no better way to understand what your sub is going through.

-DR


This was the line of thought when I was getting into the lifestyle, it doesn't seem to be popular at all now.  It can, however, provide some valuable insight if one is willing to try it.
l

(in reply to DocRudy)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Mentor????? - 10/12/2007 10:52:29 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		How do you like all of the mentoring your getting here.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Mentor????? - 10/12/2007 12:20:07 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

A young man is wishing a mentor as he is new to the lifestyle and very dominant.  How does one go about finding such a person?


I'm sure Bob has some free time to help you become twue.




(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 12
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