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meaning of submissive - 7/28/2005 5:18:05 PM

saltie

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Joined: 6/30/2004
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there might not be one answer for this i realize but want to ask anyway. what is the meaning of submissive? i would not do something that i was asked to do while in an instant messangear. in case it matters i have not yet met him. i closed the im and wrote him here saying i dont do that. he answered and part was i might not be as submissive as i think. wrote back yes i am but nothing nasty or embrassing in public.

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RE: meaning of submissive - 7/28/2005 5:35:47 PM

8526

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Joined: 7/15/2005
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It appears the person you were talking to probably was a "wannabe"
And i have no problem about what you did nor how you acted.

Submissive One who gives control of themselves to another for a period of time.
There are often safewords and predefined limitations. as you are NOT a slave.
Just because you may allow someone to control some aspect of you does not mean that you are a pushover. If anything YOU are more in control of a scene then a "DOM" is as you have the ability to say "stop".

(in reply to saltie)

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RE: meaning of submissive - 7/28/2005 5:53:05 PM

Padriag

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Joined: 3/30/2005
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Saltie, being submissive at its most basic means you enjoy being controlled by someone else. That does not mean just anyone or everyone, but someone you choose to control you. You have limits, you mentioned nothing nasty or public, those are limits for you and there is nothing wrong with that. This lifestyle is about consensual play for the enjoyment of both.

If someone tries to coerce you into submitting through threats, intimidation or guilt; that is not BDSM that is an attempt at abuse.
If someone tries to force you to do something you do not consent to; that is not BDSM, that is abuse.
If someone says you are not submissive because you won't do anything they want... they're a moron, don't waste your time.

You will have your limits and interests, doms will have theirs. Sometimes a dom may have interests that go beyond your limits, that doesn't make you or the dom a bad person. A good dom will respect your limits and find someone more compatible, but they won't try to make you feel guilty for not agreeing to demands.

Best of luck out there

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to saltie)

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RE: meaning of submissive - 7/28/2005 6:13:15 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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*tongue in cheek*

Everyone knows you need to accomplish two things to be a sub:

1) Be told that you aren't a sub at least 5 times
2) Be able to orgasm at least 4 times a day

(in reply to saltie)

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RE: meaning of submissive - 7/28/2005 6:37:35 PM

junecleaver

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quote:

Everyone knows you need to accomplish two things to be a sub:

1) Be told that you aren't a sub at least 5 times
2) Be able to orgasm at least 4 times a day

HAHAHA.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

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RE: meaning of submissive - 7/28/2005 6:50:47 PM

saltie

Posts: 101
Joined: 6/30/2004
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want to say thanks to the ones who answered. normally do to each person but 4 did so far and i think a lot more could. for me it is not a lifestyle so dont know really anything about it. i also believe does not mean will do anything and everything am told and just different interests does not make the person bad just not for me. in the past when talking to some and soon after first started i have been told i will do this or that which i dont like and they would not take no for an answer to i decided not to talk more as if cant take no after once or twice then how would they in person. think just wannabes they were. thanks again

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RE: meaning of submissive - 7/28/2005 6:59:41 PM

MistressNona

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Submitting to another is giving up control....however...both parties must be in mutual agreement on what is set fourth....if this is not in place...well...things can go wrong. Consensual is the key here....Also, knowing your partner is a major plus....

Best,

Mistress Nona of New Jersey

(in reply to saltie)

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RE: meaning of submissive - 7/28/2005 7:26:02 PM

dominmd

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Just because you did not do something does not mean you are not submissive. Submissives can choose what they want , and what they want to do especially over the net. I would ignore this person since they obviously do not know you enough to make a comment like that.

And as your profile states: "Know nothing about this as a lifestyle but am sure being a submissive does not mean I will do something told no matter how nasty or humiliating it is."

You have answered your own question, and done it in your own words. Clearly you are an intelligent woman. Why care what some ass said that did not read your profile?

(in reply to MistressNona)

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RE: meaning of submissive - 7/28/2005 8:31:01 PM

perfection20005

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You don't have to do anything that you're not comfortable doing. Things should be talked about before you do them if you feel you cannot.

perfection

(in reply to saltie)

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RE: meaning of submissive - 7/28/2005 10:55:55 PM

saltie

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thanks again to those who answered. i might of not had that there when he first wrote me. never happy with what i have so change it. one reason i dont rush to meet like some it always forget to mention something and what he wanted me to do is one of those things i did forget. what he asked was not really nasty or would of been in public but like i told him when wrote to say dont do that is some men get off by those kinds of things like some do by asking for dirty picures or wanting to know about session with the one i see now. so besides just not liking to do what he wanted i dont as it cuts down on those getting off by those types of things. just have to say it once no i dont and dont hear from those types again.

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