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MsLilac -> RE: strap on (10/14/2007 7:02:50 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Tigrita
quote:
ORIGINAL: MsLilac
The reason I answer though, is a few responses intrigued me, describing the act as a ‘violation’, or him being bent over reducing his dominant aura. If that is the case, then surely every time a dominant lady wants to be fucked doggy-style that would make her less dominant?
As I say, I feel it’s all down to context, and the ‘place’ you take it.
Based on my personal sexuality, yes a domme taking it doggy style (regardless of which orifice) would make her less dominant in my subjective eyes. I happen to be switchy also, though I've just started exploring that and only enjoy dominance with women, but I can't imagine taking it from behind, let alone up the ass from someone I felt dominant with. That is pure submission to me. Though, it is a stretch for me to debate that in detail, because what I relate to sexually is very primal in context. For me, the alpha dog has a dick that he uses on his bitches. I know the Domme/male sub thing is a very different story, one I don't relate to, so I can't really say more on it than that. And I'm totally not knocking anyones kink! Just speaking for how that would feel to me and admit it is a context I don't understand fully or relate to personally.
And again I just want to empahsize that taking a strap on is not just for prostate stimulation. The context of using a strapon totally warps the dynamic for me. I'm not saying that a desire for prostate stimulation or pain is counter to dominance, it is a strapon that is counter to dominance, to me. Like I said, a vibe wand in a dominating context wouldn't mess up the dynamic for me. Him asking/allowing me to fight him to the point of causing him pain wouldn't mess up the dynamic for me. The context is meaningful. If a strapon is the specific request, it is a request for a submissive act = bottoming/subing/switching, whatever you want to call it, in the terms of my sexuality and sexual dynamics I'd be a part of.
quote:
Stephann:
I'd have to agree though, that a woman being taken doggy style doesn't strike me as being overly dominant.
As we all say, each to their own, of course we are all entitled to our opinions, yours are just as valid as mine, etc. But I felt I had to respond.
I guess some are seeing the act as symbolic, as opposed to the actual context.
I do not believe the position ones gets into during sex or playing solely indicates ones orientation - regardless of gender, holes or toys used. I find that hard to understand, and feels more like an emotionally driven assertion. To me, it is like saying all men who wear pinks shirts are gay.
I am a dominant women inside and outside the bedroom, and run a D/s household with 2 males. I happen to really, really enjoy doggy style as well. It gives the deepest penetration, gives access to have my clit stimulated as well with hands or toys, and for me, best with ‘G‘ spot stimulation - it all feels very nice. I know what I want, and how I like it. It is also a comfortable and relaxing position for me, it’s hard work riding someone! lol. I control how I use those cocks, the speed, when they stop, when to hold it, how to do it, they are trained to my every word. There is no way in hell I am any less dominant because I like doggy style. And it does not make me feel less dominant doing this because I happen to enjoy this position. As a slight nuance to this particular scenario, it makes me aware just how submissive they are towards me.
Again, it is all down to context. I do not equate the ‘active’ party, or the one expending the most energy in a sexual or BDSM situation as dominant. I run the scene, regardless of whether I am expending loads of energy, or laying back and enjoying their hard work [;)]
This would also beg another question then - does a dom who enjoys laying back and allowing his sub ride him, make him less dominant? I certainly don’t think so.
As with all these things, just giving my opinion to contrast - rock on.
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