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hisannabelle -> RE: Is Public Scening the "One True Way"? (10/12/2007 1:23:16 AM)
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greetings bobgkin,
i am not sure if you are referring to public scening specifically or the local/regional/national bdsm community in general; i was not brave enough to read all of the machismo thread, so i will just respond on both counts ;)
i have been involved in the local scene a little bit; i attend munches when i can, but as that's not often and they're held even less, i don't get to go often. there's not a very active local community here...the most we get is one munch a month, and as far as i know, play parties are virtually nonexistent. my dominant is not really interested in that sort of thing (he's a very private person), so i always attend alone; for that reason, and because i don't know how to drive or have other transportation, i cannot be a part of the local communities a few hours away (that seem to be more active and have things like play parties).
for the most part, my experience has come from learning from him (he gained experience a long time ago in many different areas, mainly through a relationship with an experienced switch), reading (books, websites, message boards), writing, and thinking things out for myself. one of the problems for us is that we are in an age gap relationship (i am 19 and he is 54) and thus there are many events i cannot attend because i'm not 21 yet, so even if we could travel and he were interested, there are still a lot of activities that would be limited for us because of that.
i think there's a lot to be enjoyed with getting involved in one's local community, and of course if workshops are offered, that is great, too. but there are other ways to learn, and i certainly would not by any means say that public scening is the one true way...the choice to scene in public is, imho, a very personal one and doesn't make anyone more learned than thou or anything like that. the only area in which i would think local involvement or at least training with someone who is already learned in an area is vital is if you are trying to learn a new technique, like play piercing, that is simply something it's unsafe to learn from a book or through trying it out. but that doesn't necessarily mean you have to be involved in your local scene...sure, you could attend a workshop if that's available, but you could also seek out piercers privately who are capable of teaching things like that (there is a very renowned local piercer here who does that kind of thing, for example). so to me that is the only area where i'd think it's really necessary...and that to me isn't really a matter of being involved in the local community so much as it is knowing that you are learning in the way that is best and safest for that particular practice or technique (whether "best and safe" means alone with your partner, from a workshop, from a friend, from another dominant, from an expert in that particular field, or whatever).
i hope that makes sense...i am rather exhausted. :)
respectfully,
annabelle.
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